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July 18, 2006

Naughty Girls Need Love, Too...Or Do They?

The bad girl has been a soap opera staple since Julie Horton shoplifted from Bartlett's Department Store in 1966. It's fun to watch people scheme and backstab and do vicious things, but it's important that the people in question have some motivation for being the way that they are (popular reasons include parental neglect, loving a man involved with another woman, multiple personalities; etc.)

Along the way, the girls got badder and badder and their motivation became murkier and murkier. Two young characters currently feeling the wrath of viewers across America are Maxie Jones on General Hospital and Chelsea Benson Brady on Days Of Our Lives. They're both bad and have multiple crimes under their belt, including drug dealing and vehicular homicide, and yet...they aren't fun to watch. But the question is: which one is worse?

I will outline my opinions using the very professional plus and minus form of critiquing.

MAXIE JONES

  • + Daughter of the ultra cool Frisco and Felicia
  • - Is nowhere near as cool as her dad
  • + Did not inherit her mother's voice
  • - Used to babysit Michael and did not take advantage of the opportunity to sell him to the gypsies
  • - Flirted with her (adopted) (and homosexual) cousin
  • - WTF was that story with her and Jesse on the run?
  • - Bitched repeatedly about how horrible it was that Jesse was an organ donor even though SHE GOT HER DEAD COUSIN'S HEART
  • - Tried to hit on Nikolas skankily
  • - Immediately got over her love of Nikolas and moved on to his brother Lucky
  • - Milks Jesse's death for all the sympathy she can get while attempting to bed half of Port Charles
  • - Stole pills from the hospital to keep Lucky addicted
  • - Took advantage of Lucky's addiction to get him into bed
  • - Blackmails Lucky into sleeping with her by threatening to withhold his pills and/or tell her stepfather Mac about their affair and Lucky's pill addiction
  • - Wears skanky clothes and bad makeup
  • - Became Lucky's drug connection because...?
  • - Is freaking stupid enough to go out into dirty parks to score drugs even though her stepfather is the police commissioner
  • - Had an affair with Lucky because...?
  • - Has the nerve to blame Elizabeth for Lucky cheating on her
  • - Had sex with Lucky in Elizabeth's bed
  • Verdict: Does not deserve BJ's heart
  • CHELSEA BENSON

  • + Daughter of Bo and Billie who is pretty cool as played by Lisa Rinna and Julie Pinson
  • - But she was stillborn in a swamp when Krista Allen was Billie and Krista Allen sucks
  • + Despite being stillborn not even 10 years ago, has managed to grow up into a functioning teen. By "functioning" I mean "can walk and talk"
  • - Attempted to drug Patrick to get him to sleep with her
  • + Abby seems to like her well enough
  • - Hooked up with her (adopted) uncle Max right after meeting him
  • - Bad attitude
  • - Ran over her little brother
  • - Shows little to no remorse for it
  • - Bitches about the community service she has to do for killing her brother
  • + Wears cute clothes
  • + Is nice to Sami, who I love
  • - Conspired via falsified email to keep Bo and Hope apart
  • + Correctly assumed that Bo and Hope were dumb enough not to realize they are being duped
  • Verdict: Seriously, she was stillborn in 1998! What is with this show?!

    I firmly feel that the inability to rid the world of Michael Corinthos once and for all lost this contest for Maxie.  So congratulations stillborn (EXCEPT NOT!) Chelsea, for only being the second most horrible character in soaps!
  • - Promising Ingénue

    Comments

    There are four or five fantastic nominees and they are all on AMC: Babe, Josh, Ryan and Zoe/Zarf. If pressed to pick one, I'd choose...Babe simply because the character sucks, the actress plays her as with a level of an entitlement that would shame Carly Corinthos and, in an effort to convince the audience of her innate purity and sweetness, core characters, new characters, good characters have been assassinated and wrecked...and we still hate the wench because the character sucks and the actress doesn't understand that the character is loathsome.

    I think the worst character on daytime is Ryan Lavery on AMC. He needs to get out of the lives of Zach and Kendall. Ths S/K storyline was suppose to be about Zach, but when Erin Lavery was killed it became about Ryan and the death of HISSISTER. Now that Ryan has a new family he needs to give Spike back to Zach and Kendall and just stay away.

    Worst daytime character? Have you *seen* Belle Black Kiriakis? (Days of Our Lives) If she isn't the most vapid, self-absorbed...not to mention the characters that have been changed/thrown under a bus for her. Shawn lost all sense of manhood and is now stuck on an island with her ice-princess ass (instead of getting it on w/ Gabby who so clearly wants him!), Phillip has gone psycho because of how long Belle lied to him and kept up their sham of a marriage, and most importantly, Belle ruined the Shimi (Shawn and Mimi), a pairing I absolutely loved when it was Farah Fath and Jason Cook. But Mimi got sacrificed for Belle, and in the end the character of Mimi was written off as having murdered her father, letting her mother take the blame, and leaving town.

    For Maxie's critique you forgot one...

    + She's played by the fabulous Kirsten Storms.

    Julie Olson, not Julie Horton

    Worst character in daytime, huh? Used to be Courtney Matthews on Gh but thankfully they killed her. Now it is probably Adrianna on OLTL. Hasn't anyone noticed that girl is utterly worthless and should not dare call herself a Cramer? Or is that just me?

    About Maxie, she was saved when Cooper came on. Before that she was just as awful as this posts suggests. What she did to Lucky was horrific. She could give Babe Carrey lessons in how to screw over a man's life and leave him broken so he can't recover. Babe tries hard at it, but alas, like all the other things she attempts, fails in the end.

    I have another nominee.

    Chloe "the world revolves around ME" Lane from DOOL, who, thankfully, moved to Europe, although I would be torn if I had to choose between her and Belle Black.


    And how things change...

    i need to be part of this family.
    iam a young writer in field of drama and acting, with this i want to improve my knowledge in writing by recieving and sending with professionals.

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