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« One of these things is not like the other... | Main | My Shows Are Broken »

December 13, 2006

Stop Me If You've Heard This One

A serial killer tormenting a town onscreen while producers mistreat beloved veterans behind the scenes. Sound familiar?

All My Children is totally biting the style of Days of Our Lives circa 2004. All we need is death via donut to make it complete.

I'd bitch and moan about how over serial killer stories I am (when was the last time there was a good one? Loving? The Salem Strangler in the 80s?), how infuriating it was to see Simone finally get some screentime after being backburned for the better part of two years, how annoying it was to watch Jonathan Lavery mourn his ultra boring sister and not have the self awareness to say "Oh, maybe people felt like this when I murdered their loved ones. Sorry friends of Edmund!", how Derek is the worst cop in the world for just letting people contaminate crime scenes, how the sentence "Someone is killing the women of Fusion" is poorly written and melodramatic in and of itself and when spoken by an Aborted Fetus it becomes the cheesiest thing this side of Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?, how the fact that the serial killer hasn't yet killed Babe is ridiculous because the woman inspires murderous thoughts in everybody she comes into contact with, how Zarf is going to be a transgender character who speaks with an affected British accent and who has an addiction to powder foundation and who has creepy stalker tendencies and STILL manages to be boring and--hmm. And to think I hadn't wanted to bitch and moan!

The worst thing--the thing that cancels out any sort of good plot or character or acting this show offers, such as Thorsten Kaye dreamily holding a baby or...umm...the other good things this show does that I can't think of at the moment because they don't exist--is the totally bullshit way they have treated Julia Barr. From her own newsletter:

"As for All My Children, my last show aired in November (Simone's funeral). I had assumed that I would have a final scene regarding my character's departure – certainly with Tad or Jamie, or even a last jab at Erica. I think the fans would have liked the chance to say goodbye to Brooke and to have had some closure with the character many have known for 30 years. I know it is what I would have wanted. However, it was not the decision that was made for whatever reason."

That is just straight up disrespect. Seriously, the woman has been a popular actress on this show for 30 years and she doesn't get a goodbye? They couldn't spare her thirty seconds?

-Promising Ingénue

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