It Can't All Be Praise
Something very odd happened right around the time we started Serial Drama. Days stopped being completely terrible. You see, our idea was, let's start a blog where we can make fun of soaps! That is easier when said soaps suck. If the soaps don't suck, or at least suck less, then we'll have to actually reach in order to be entertaining, and we don't like reaching. It ruins the lines of our clothes.
Anyhoo, we've picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off, and proceeded to continue to be bitchily judgmental and mock soaps, because even when they're good there's still lots to make fun of. (Also because, truthfully, we're not actually capable of not being bitchy and judgmental.) Which brings me back to Days. The new head writer came in an created some much better romantic pairings, rekindled friendships, re-centered the show around the core families, considerably improved the pacing, and injected the dialogue with some intelligence and even humor. All good things. However, Days has never been the land of great fashion or hair and makeup, and those things show no signs of improving under the new regime. In particular, I'm very troubled by some recent hairstyling. Let's review, shall we?
I realize she has way bigger problems (like, say, being a nearly irredeemable bitch) with which to cope, but I submit that Chelsea's bangs are ill-advised and her hair in general needs work.
I can't really figure out what to say about this next one, except to say, what is it and why did it happen to such a pretty girl?
I'm not sure, but don't shows have some control over actors' coloring their hair and so forth? I understand perhaps not wanting to tackle the difficult conversation of "no, seriously, in the name of Jackie Zeman, STOP with the face lifts and botox and lip implants," but could someone not talk to Lauren Koslow about these "highlights"?
Speaking of colorists falling down on the job, is the reason Willow looked like this because she was a hooker without a heart of gold?
And of course, Mimi. Promising Ingenue already did a bang-up job cataloging some of Mimi's more recent hair and makeup mis-steps, and I think I read that the actress is leaving the show, so I won't poor salt in the overly-made-up and poorly-colored wound.
I mostly steered clear of the men, because I've watched a lot of old clips from the 80s recently and my god, I had forgotten the Mullet Domination. Steve, Bo, Roman1, Roman2/John, Shane, Mike, Justin, Emilio - it was an epidemic. So compared to that, I find it difficult to get riled up over much with respect to the guys. However, if I am to believe that Max is so hot that seemingly every young woman under 20 in Salem wants to hop into bed with him - including his cousins (via adoption, but still, EW) - he's going to have to do something about his hair:
And I know Days has really nothing to do with this, but I cannot miss an opportunity to commemorate in yet another internet locale how spectacularly hideous Clay's new 'do is:
However, there are some bright spots. Sami's hair almost always look fabulous (Alison Sweeney, I beg of you, email us your haircare tips!), Kayla and Stephanie (now that she's gotten a much-needed trim) almost always look good:
And despite dealing with her stepdaughter killing her son, her other son getting divorced and taking up with a hooker, finding out she has a grandchild, splitting up with her husband, having sex with a crazy con man, allegedly getting knocked up by said con man, being held at gunpoint, going into labor while being held at gunpoint, giving birth on a dirty warehouse floor without any medical professionals around, and myriad other traumas over the last year, Hope Brady clearly pays appropriate attention to prioritizing her weekly deep conditioning treatments:
So, Days, congratulations on
the whole becoming-watchable-again thing. But remember, you are a soap
and we like to watch soaps for the pretty people. As a great
philosopher and/or haircare products commercial once said, if your hair
doesn't look good, you don't look good. Several of your pretty people
have not been looking good lately, and nobody wants bad hair ruining
pretty people. Well, we here at Serial Drama
do, because we need to continue to have things to make fun of, but most
normal people do not want bad hair ruining pretty people, and we
presume that your audience is mostly made up of mostly normal people,
the ratings for the Island of the Un-Dead and Marlena's Possession
- Evil But Twinless