The Day's Dumbest Dialogue
We're starting a new regular feature here at Serial Drama, because we feel strongly that some of the horrendous dialogue being forced upon our otherwise pristine ears should be memorialized and repeatedly mocked - you know, for educational purposes. Ideally we'd like to channel authoritarian grade school teachers and make offending soap scribes write out their lines of dialogue over and over again in longhand on a chalkboard, until they realize what they've done is terribly wrong and/or get their unfairly expensive clothes covered in that nasty white dust. But since we can't do that, we're going to settle for trying to humiliate them by calling them out in front of the class here in our little corner of the internets.
General Hospital viewers know that there is currently this moronic storyline in which the otherwise bright Georgie Jones is volunteering to Google stuff about old Hollywood for a creepy professor who clearly just wants to get in her pants, under the guise of her doing "research" for some book he's never going to write. Among other things, my problems with this storyline are 1) Professor Marquez could have been cute but is marred by his overly greasy mane, ill-advised facial hair, and routine spouting off of misogynistic bullshit, 2) they have linked said creepy professor to the extremely dreamy Dr. Patrick Drake (they're college buddies or some crap), and I think it's clear that nobody should be sullying Dr. Drake unless it's Robin and only then in a romantically dirty kind of way, and 3) it is contributing to Georgie, who is adorable and played by a capable actress, becoming duller than C-SPAN.
Anyway, this brings us to The Day's Dumbest Dialogue:
Georgie: So, the studios used to keep apartments for their contract starlets.
Prof.: Huh. Have you come across anything about connecting doors or passages from the executives' suites to these starlets' apartments?
Georgie: [incredulous] Wait, are you suggesting that the executives were sleeping with their starlets?
Prof: Well, I'm counting on you to find out.
Oh my god! Movie executives sleeping with actresses?! Tune in next week when Georgie uncovers other well-hidden secrets of the golden era of Hollywood, including that Rock Hudson was GAY, and that many famous people were once publicly accused of being COMMUNISTS! The Creepy Professor's book is going to ROCK YOUR WORLDS, people!
- Evil But Twinless