Nominee for Worst Character in Daytime: Babe Carey
The rise and fall of All My Children reads like a fairytale of some sort. Just a few short years ago, life was good, gas prices were low, no one had heard of Sienna Miller and All My Children ruled. It was home to complex characters, intricate storylines, wonderful romances and a great sense of humor. Oh, and it also introduced me to my soulmate, Josh Duhamel. Like I said, life was good (we continue to be very happy together, thank you for asking).
Not content to be the head writer of a successful show, an evil woman decided to introduce a new character, a character who would devour the show and all it stood for with an alarming level of ferocity, who would usher in a new era and make the show unrecognizable from the groundbreaking and award winning drama it once was.
The character I speak of, quite obviously, is Arabella Carey Cramer Chandler Chandler also known as "Babe" also known as "The Baby Stealing Tramp Whose Life In Pine Valley Calls To Mind Sherman's March to the Sea" also known as "The latest Serial Drama nominee for Worst Character in Daytime."
+ Really quite beautiful
+ Has sizzling onscreen chemistry with Jacob Young
+ Her father is the dastardly, yet awesome, David Hayward, making Leo DuPres her uncle, meaning that she has awesomeness in her genes somewhere
+ A self-professed fan of Dynasty
+ Lends a shoulder to cry on for various Pine Valley rifraff (demerit: this is an obvious ploy by the writers to show the audience how supportive Babe is compared to the cartoonishly over the top reactions other characters have to Zarfs and Aborted Fetuses)
+ Got a company handed to her just because other people hate her
+ Has the ideal work schedule that allows her to traipse around town and not have to worry about obligations like her career, her company or her child
+ Was nice to Sydney during the Super Sweet Sixteen madness (demerit: who the hell cares about Sydney?)
- Skanked her way through high school providing sexual favors in exchange for higher grades
- Married JR while she was still married to Paul Cramer
- Slept with JR's brother right after marrying JR while she was still married to Paul Cramer (sub-entry: when affair was revealed, lied and said Jamie seduced her)
- Rampant gold-digging
- Schemed with her mother to falsify paternity tests to ensure that JR thought her was the father of her child
- Is onscreen or mentioned every single day
- Brought her horrible, over the top, gold-digging mother to Pine Valley (sub-entry: there is no need to create a new Opal, the one we have is just fine)
- Her nickname is "Baby Doll" which, when said in an over the top Southern drawl by Krystal, is really freaking annoying
-Blackmailed Paul Cramer into falsifying paternity tests to prove that JR was the father of her baby
- Kept Bianca's baby after she learned that Bess was really Bianca's daughter and not hers
- Even though she knew the tremendous heartbreak Bianca suffered, she decided it was more important for JR not to think his child was dead than for Bianca to be reunited with her daughter
- Took "Bess" to the dedication of the center her grieving mother opened in her honor
- Is perhaps the most self righteous character on ABC Daytime
- Only returned Bianca's daughter to her and told her the truth when she was sure that her own child was actually alive
- Ran away with her husband's brother to raise her own child after returning Miranda (sub-entry: taunted her husband by saying his child was really dead) (sub-sub-entry: she got her own child back by kidnapping him from the Lt. Governor) (sub-sub-sub-entry: she kidnapped him by drugging his nanny)
- Is onscreen or mentioned every single day
- Despite her husband repeatedly voicing his concerns over her relationship with Josh Madden, continued to flirt with him and hire him at her company (sub-entry: Josh is an Aborted Fetus) (sub-sub-entry: Josh is also basically a stalker)
- Studied at the Alicia Leigh Willis school of smug eyerolling
- Lied under oath so her husband would not go to jail for almost killing Kendall and Spike
- Expressed disbelief that people would be angry with her for lying on JR's behalf
- Had adulterous sex in a kiddie pool because she felt neglected (sub-entry: with an Aborted Fetus)
- Was feeling neglected because her husband was preoccupied that his little sister was presumed dead
- Inspired the wretched line "She's a walking miracle"
- Treats Erica and Kendall like they are irrational monsters because they don't like her
- Is lying about the paternity of her mother's baby so that they still have access to the Chandler fortune
- According to Soap Opera Network, was onscreen in 221 out of 254 possible episodes last year
- Stole Bianca's child
- Inspired the line "The bravery belongs to Babe. I owe it to her"
- Spends no time with her son
- Shared a funeral with a legacy character (sub-entry: is not actually dead)
- A complete narcissist
- Did not go to jail for stealing Bianca's child
- Thinks that saying she's sorry means more than actually doing anything to show that she's sorry for kidnapping, adultery, general heinous behavior, etc.
VERDICT: Curse you, Satin Slayer, for not getting the job done! Damn you!
- Promising Ingénue