All My Lapses In Logic
Remember the episode of Friends when Chandler was guilt-ridden about kissing Joey's girlfriend and everybody was mocking Monica for wanting to date Richard's son and she freaked out and said, "Fine! Judge all you want to, but... married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, lives in a box!"
That's all I can think about during All My Children lately. I mean, practically the entire town has rallied together in their crusade to make Adam pay for being mad at Krystal and kicking her out of his house like the heartless bastard he is.
And he is a heartless bastard; that's his thing. But I'm sort of thinking that in this case, it's deserved, what with the whole "my wife had an affair and got pregnant with another man's baby and she lied about it for months and planned to name the other man's baby after my dead sister and only told me the truth after an aborted fetus mentioned it to me first" thing.
Suprisingly, Miss Manners did not have an essay explaining what a husband could do in a situation like this (should I write in and ask?), but I think it's a safe bet that the billionaire husband would have every right to kick his cheating wife out of his house. I think it's also safe to assume that anybody capable of feeling shame would probably leave on their own, but Krystal is sort of a mutant that way, so the kicking out was necessary.
In Pine Valley, though, none of this is okay. Anger at Krystal and Babe? Whatever they did wrong, it's only because you did something mean first and they don't know right from wrong because they're too busy loving people too much. All Krystal wanted to do was comfort a friend (with her vagina)--how was she to know it could lead to this?!
So you have Adam who, for once in his life, has not ruined his marriage through manipulations/attempts at gaslighting his wife/infidelity/schemes/being himself. Should I mention that Adam is played with an award winning brilliant actor who could play a heavy, dramatic story of heartbreak over what happened to him in an amazing fashion? I probably should.
And then you have his cheating wife, her skank daughter, his lying son, the man his wife cheated with, the man his wife cheat with's son, and a random, all rushing to get revenge on Adam for being so damn mean to Krystal and Tad. So what do they do? Drug him, take his clothes off and put him in his boardroom to humiliate him in front of the board of his company, have a weirdo family member (who, not for nothing, is the father of the aborted fetus) declare him unstable and have him committed.
This story cannot be salvaged for me unless Adam lines up in front of Krystal, Babe, JR, Jamie, Aidan and Tad and goes all Monica Geller, "Convicted of babynapping, babynapping and trampish, tried to kill your wife, told your brother his son was dead while you ran away with his wife and had his son call you dad, foxy yet pointles, tortured and killed a man!"
Oh! According to reports, Thorsten Kaye has re-signed to stay with AMC. Eeeee! Zach and Kendall are pretty much the only bright spot on the show these days. Dare I hope that this means their baby will actually make it? Zara and I are doubtful, but I dream nonetheless. I want a cute lil' Hart-Slater baby with a real name!
I think I might have a crush on Sean Montgomery. Somebody slap some sense into me, please.
- Promising Ingénue