GH Week in Review, continued
Scene: Carly inexplicably appears at the Quartermaine mansion a couple of seconds after Alan dies, to insert herself and her creepy-ass son where they do not belong (because she has insisted for years that they, in fact, do not belong).
Tracy's initial oh-no-you-di'int reaction is priceless:
She's like, "this bitch did not just show up in my house to make
trouble all these years after she stole the grandchild of my
just-barely-dead brother from his father, my dead nephew, so that the
kid could be raised by a mobster." But yeah, she did. The contempt is
not even thinly veiled, bless Tracy's cold little heart:
And then she unleashes:
Carly: I’m sorry, I know this is a very difficult time for everyone.
Tracy: And you can't resist making it worse?
C: I told Michael about Alan.
T: Really? Did he even know who Alan was?
Emily: Tracy, enough. [Ed . note: Em darling, I've just about forgotten about the whole schtupped-Sonny nastiness, and I find you pretty charming with Nicolas, but so help me sit down and shut up or I'm going to have to go all Helena on your ass.]
C: Michael would like to see the family, he'd like to come to the memorial, and I think it would be good for him and I think it would be good for everyone.
Edward: And I agree. [Ed. note: Nobody asked you! Step aside! Go gaze at Jason wistfully or something.]
C: I'm not going to drag my son into some big family fight.
T: Well, at least we don't carry firearms. [Ed. note: BRILLIANT!]
Emily: Tracy. [Ed. note: See above, buttinski.]
C: I'm going to take that as a no.
T: You shut Alan out of Michael's life. Don't try to ease your guilt now. It is way too little, and far too late. . . . Alan desperately wanted to be a part of Michael's life and you made sure that that wouldn't happen. There is no way you’re going to shove your boy back into the family fold while you sniff around for a cut of Alan’s will.
LOVE!!!!!!!!!! You tell her, Tracy. Why did Carly even need to get
involved in the Quartermaines' mourning? Does she have to be in every
scene, everywhere, always? And then she was all, I totally didn't just
But yes, yes you did. And it was beautiful. Oh, and later on, this:
Jax, doing some truth-telling: He lied to you, he manipulated you, and you still couldn't resist sleeping with him.
Carly: We thought we were going to die!
Objection, nonresponsive! Let's put aside the fact that facing death should make you regret ever having had sex with Sonny, not want to do it some more. The danger had passed and she was soakin' in the cheesy black tub surrounded by the mafia candles when they decided to get it on. I guess the quote is technically accurate in that at one point in the past Sonny and Carly did think they might possibly die, but by that logic "He shot me in the head!" or "He was really nice to Stone!" would have been equally sensible responses. (Side note: Since thinking you're going to die is an excuse for having indiscriminate sex, this bodes very well for my ongoing attempt to bed George Clooney. We're all going to die someday, George! We have to do this!)
I'm not a Carly-hater (though I know they are legion), but goddamn,
they are writing her as a harpy bitch lately. The self-righteous
attitude she's been throwing at Jax - the whole "You haven't forgiven
me yet?!" thing - is ridiculous. Let me briefly summarize Jax's
return to town, from Carly's perspective.
"Jax, hi! I had sex with Sonny! I always fling open the door and tell people inappropriate things without verifying first who is standing there, but this time it's for the best because we should just get this conversation out of the way anyway."
"Also, I married the mobster again, and your hotel blew up! I'm sort of asking for your forgiveness for marrying and then sleeping with my ex you've always worried I'll go back to, but not really, because I'm being really snotty, self-righteous, defensive, and arrogant. And of course I am also yelling."
"Now that I've told you this, we need to move on. I can't believe you might hold this against me! Everyone knows that when your significant other is out of town sex and marriages one has with other people don't count! Plus, everyone also knows that a woman can't be expected to turn down The Magic that is Sonny's penis. And it's not like you're totally hot, both physically and in your dedication to your family and my children, or that you have a smokin' accent. I mean, put you up against the mobster whom I've divorced three times and who shot me in the head while I was giving birth to our child, and I think my choice was clear. Not that I made a choice. Because it was inevitable, since at some point prior to the sexin' our lives had been in danger. God, I can't believe you're being such a pain in the ass about this."
Welcome home, Jax? Ruuuuuuun!!!!!! Even Siberia would be better than this.
Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.
- Evil But Twinless