I Love the Smell of Schadenfreude in the Morning
There's something in the air...can you feel it? It's someone else's misery, which I like quite nearly as much as experiencing glee personally. Especially when the someone in question is Jill Farren Phelps, it's like I am so ecstatic that I can't even help myself.
If Serial Drama had been around last year at the time of the Daytime Emmy Awards, you probably would have read a post saying something like, "In the immortal words of Nancy Kerrigan, Whyyyyyyy?!?!?! did they name General Hospital best show?!" There probably would have been lots of cursing as well and then a lot of gibberish as I banged my head against the keyboard repeatedly.
There's no chance of that happening this year, though. You know why? Because GH didn't even get nominated for Best Daytime Drama! HA! HA HA! It's poetry, you know? I mean, I am still angry about all of the other years that they beat out more deserving shows by being 80% terrible and 20% decent but shiny and filled with special effects, but this is delicious. Suck on that, JFP!
This is not to say that the nominations, as a whole, make any sort of sense, because they never do and this year is no exception.
BEST DAYTIME DRAMA
The Bold and the Beautiful
One Life To Live
The Young and the Restless
Out of the above shows, I watch one, mock another just for existing (B&B), have never seen 30 seconds of another (GL) and have heard horrible things about the last (OLTL). So I'm not exactly sure what to think about that. I sort of wanted to see Days of Our Lives at least get nominated for those few weeks where it was stellar, but I am sure the voters are justifiably wary of anything that has even the slightest taint of James E. Reilly. And no GH! Thumbs up!
OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES WRITING TEAM
The Bold and the Beautiful
The Young and the Restless
Effing Guza still has a shot. Make me proud, Emmy voters! Just say no!
Maura West, As the World Turns
Crystal Chappell, Guiding Light
Kim Zimmer, Guiding Light
Jeanne Cooper, The Young and the Restless
Michelle Stafford, The Young and the Restless
I'm sorry, but no. Just...no. Look, Jeanne Cooper wins at life just for being Jeanne Cooper, but what the hell did Katherine do all year? I'm pretty sure it included little more than lunching with Jill. I mean, yeah, her lunching skills are totally rocking, but what?! That makes no sense to me. On the rare occasions where Phyllis did anything but laugh and bang Nick, Michelle Stafford was good, so I have no complaints there, but Jeanne Cooper?! My mind is boggled.
Especially when one considers that Nancy Lee Grahn was not nominated. That, to me, is ludicrous. Because she had an insane year that started with a bizarre "I want to find the daughter no one ever knew I had and that I never mentioned" storyline, then moved to the equally bizarre "My daughter and I are enemies and also, she's been shot in the uterus and may have brain damage" storyline before having to be the wronged wife in a story where she loses her husband to her own daughter while simultaneously having a lung cancer storyline and then having to play a ridiculous divorce situation where her character's husband all of a sudden hates her while she's dying of cancer. Written out like that, it makes me laugh, because who on earth could possibly make any of those storylines work, let alone all of them, and then I realize that NLG did make them work and she did it well and I stop laughing and start crying because she deserves an Emmy for spinning this garbage into gold.
Michael Park, As the World Turns
Tony Geary, General Hospital
Ricky Paull Goldin, Guiding Light
Peter Bergman, The Young and the Restless
Christian LeBlanc, The Young and the Restless
Christian LeBlanc is always good, but I don't remember him having much to do this year other than hate the Abbotts and support his demented mother. I am not familiar with Michael Park and Ricky Paull Goldin, and Tony Geary is always good and was brilliant when Laura returned, but as far as I am concerned, the entire situation can be summed up thusly:
I LOVE HIM. I mean, what other actor could make you be all, "Remember when Jack tricked his senile father into changing his will to screw over his father's wife? That was so awesome. The disenfranchisement of the elderly is so great. JACK 4EVAH!"?
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Lesli Kay, The Bold and the Beautiful
Genie Francis, General Hospital
Rebecca Herbst, General Hospital
Gina Tognoni, Guiding Light
Renee Elise Goldsberry, One Life to Live
Heather Tom, One Life to Live
Eeeee! Genie! Eeeee! I'm not usually a fan of the "Sorry you didn't win in [Insert Year Here], looking back, you totally should have, so take this now. Better late than never, right" awards, but I will totally be okay with Genie winning. The fact that she doesn't have an Emmy for her work when Lucky "died" is nothing short of appalling. Love her. She needs to be back on the show right this second.
I also love Becky Herbst, and Liz, and I'm really happy that she had such a great year, in terms of screentime and now this. I think Kimberly McCullough is probably a better actress, but this is fine, too.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Trent Dawson, As the World Turns
Rick Hearst, General Hospital
Dan Gauthier, One Life to Live
Greg Rikaart, The Young and the Restless
Kristoff St. John, The Young and the Restless
Greg Rikaart? For what? Annoying the hell out of me for 52 weeks? Whatevah. It's all about Rick Hearst, as far as I am concerned. He's always awesome, and it's almost like he's playing two totally different characters: the loving, concerned father (and husband: remember at the beginning of the year when he promised to do whatever it took to find Alexis's daughter with her?) and the evil, demonic beast who sleeps with stepdaughters and berates cancer patients. I'd like to think I'm above making a Ric Lansing/Dick Lansing joke, but...I'm not.
BEST YOUNGER ACTOR
Van Hansis, As The World Turns
Jesse Soffer, As The World Turns
Tom Pelphrey, Guiding Light
James Stevenson, Passions [?!?!?!--ed.]
Bryton McClure, The Young and the Restless
That's a whole lot of whatever. Yeah, Bryton McClure was good when Devon was deaf for an hour, but I don't know much about anybody else.
BEST YOUNGER ACTRESS
Leven Rambin, All My Children
Jennifer Landon, As The World Turns
Alexandra Chando, As The World Turns
Julie Berman, General Hospital
Stephanie Gatschet, Guiding Light
It's really Julie Berman's award to lose, and deservedly so. She's amazing, and was spectacular during the abortion storyline and Laura's return and her misguided crush on Dillon. Leven Rambin is great, too, but I am vehemently anti-Emmy when it comes to anything related to Jonathan Lavery marrying an autistic girl and the silly Internet predator story. I wish Rachel Melvin had been nominated, because she turned Chelsea on Days around in a huge way. Maybe next year?
The show itself is about a million years away (June 15th! That's far too long a wait) but, rest assured, we will be here for them. We wouldn't miss it for the world.
- Promising Ingénue