Days of Our Lives Week in Review: I Have Questions
Days is still staking out the middle ground with me, where it's not too bad and not too good, but not quite just right. It's kind of Goldilocks-ian. Anyway, since it's for the most part mediocre, my mind tends to wander a bit. For example:
Kate's hair continues to freak me out. Does she think she's punk rock? That's so sad. She is Avril Levigne in 40 years. That new Avril song is kind of catchy. I think I'll get it off iTunes. But objectively it's terrible. Do I have no taste in music? Am I one step away from unironically voting for Sanjaya? I wonder what Simon Cowell would think of Kate's hair? Paula Abdul is probably crazy enough to monogram her bras, too.
And so on. I think it's clear I'm naturally inquisitive (and not at all crazy!). So in no particular order, here are my questions from this week: Why can't there be more moments like this? That's going in this year's "best of" post, no question. We're still laughing.
How ugly is the portrait in Stephen Nichols' attic?
I must repeat, the dude is 56 years old!!! Oh, and why didn't I know about this lye soap trick when I was in school?
Why don't I come back from vacation looking ten years younger?
That’s not Marlena getting a call about Kayla (“oh no, GASP, not Kayla, GASP”), that’s Deidre calling her surgeon to thank him. Every time she's off the show for a couple of weeks she comes back looking very, um, refreshed. Yet somehow she still actually looks great, instead of like this. How? By which I mean, how much does it cost, and how do I get in contact with this doctor/voodoo priest?
How can one little hat so disturb the sexy?
Has anyone in Salem ever driven a car and not run off the road?
Why didn't the Sprint guy tell me when I got this exact phone that I could see into other people's living rooms with it, if only I could enlist the help of a slightly delayed, follicularly-challenged teenager?
And about that teenager . . . Why, when he has all the money in the world and otherwise seems to be kind of a criminal mastermind, would E.J. enlist freaking Will to play Robin to his Batman with this homemade Big Brother experiment?
And finally . . . Why can't Shawn take more showers?