Days of Our Lives Week in Review
So, this week it was revealed that the whole lipstick o' death plot was EJ's brilliant plan in conjunction with Celeste to see whether Sami really cared about him. And he's decided she does, because she . . . didn't burn him alive. Huh. If I had known "won't kill me in cold blood" was the measure of true love, my relationship status would probably be quite different.
I'm not sure EJ thought through this plan as well as one probably should have. If it was all a test, why didn't he have Celeste give Sami regular un-drugged lipstick, especially since she's pregnant, possibly by him? (Please do not take the preceding sentence as an endorsement in any way of any plot involving lipstick as a weapon.) Because then he ended up drugged , doused in gasoline, inches from a lit match. Then he was still drugged, doused in gasoline, and in a cabin engulfed in flames. This strategery is puzzling. Dumb luck does not a genius plan make.
This is one of the many times lately when I think the writers changed their mind about a storyline and just hoped that it would pass the smell test. (What, are they hanging out with the GH team?) Fortunately for them, James Scott can pull off anything, on account of his sex godliness. There was a point this week when EJ was by Sami's bedside in the hospital, being all borderline homicidal and Dimera-ish, but he was stroking her hair and holding her hand and . . .
. . . it was way hot. I'm damaged. (Maybe it's just the scrubs? First Patrick Dempsey, then Jason Thompson, now James Scott. No, it's probably not fabric-related.)
EJ's continued scorching hotness makes this choice by the wardrobe department all the more puzzling:
I don't mean to traffic in gender stereotypes, but when you're in a romantic rivalry with a guy whom I could very easily be convinced invented sex appeal, I'm not sure an embroidered floral shirt would be the way I'd go. Bryan Dattilo is cute, but no guy can pull off this look. If the showrunners really want me to hate EJ, they should put him in that shirt. It would kill The Hotness faster than this did a few weeks ago.
Lucas can be forgiven for his flowery shirt because he was responsible for the most WTF/hilarious moment of the week:
I love that he just randomly picked up the fire extinguisher and let loose. That's the kind of total lack of impulse control that this show needs more of. I enjoyed the irony of EJ getting doused in fire retardant:
And yeah, he could still get it.
I am now totally looking forward to the Lucas/Sami wedding.
My Willow-hate is well-documented, but she really reached a new low with me this week. While talking to Nick at the jail, she said . . .
. . . "expecially." This is right up there with "expresso,"
"nuc-u-lar," and "supposably" at the top of my Most Annoying
Mispronunciations list. And all of those rival misspelling
"definitely" on my "why, why, why would you do that to poor
unsuspecting members of the alphabet?" list. I make lots of lists.
Steve and Adrienne together again was awesome. These two actors
always played incredibly well off each other, and that hasn't
diminished with age.
Now, let's get Steve out of the loony bin, please. They can continue the brainwashing storyline -- in fact they probably should now that they're bringing back Stefano and the rest of the DiMeras (!!!!) -- but my god, I just need a change of scenery.
I'm beginning to question whether instead of brainwashing, Steve's lunacy is genetic, and has been passed on to his daughter. Because have you seen her hair?!
I'm going to forgive her for trying to bring back 1987 because I think she was probably still in diapers and doesn't know how painful an era that whole decade was for style. Clearly, we need to better educate our youth about the perils of high bangs. I could bring my yearbooks for visual aids, if I hadn't burned them.
At least Stephanie comes by the big hair honestly. Her mom's, back in the day, was gravity-defying. I spent many an hour trying to duplicate Mary Beth Evans'-as-Kayla's bangs. Since I was morally and olfactorily opposed to AquaNet, I was never able to quite duplicate them (though I did come close to her Spanish braid look). I couldn't find any photos that truly do justice to her hair back then, so you'll either just have to trust me that Kayla Brady's bangs were epic, or check out some of these clips to see them in action. At some points you'll be amazed she can walk through a doorway without ducking.
These days, though, Kayla's hair is adorable (I think the suburban mom-ness is appropriate for the character), but the inexplicably hideous wardrobing of poor Mary Beth Evans continues:
I think I last saw this outfit on Miracle Max in The Princess Bride.
Have fun storming the mental hospital!
Update! Belle and Shawn are still on that stupid island.
Saying stupid stuff:
Shawn: ...and there isn't one drop of blood in [Claire's] body that belongs to Phillip. Not one.
Well, there actually sort-of is, since he's your uncle. But even though most of the time Shawn makes Paris Hilton look like a nuclear (or as I'm sure he would say, "nuc-u-lar") physicist, I'll chalk this gaffe up not to stupidity but to the fact that really, everyone in Salem is related. So, much like in rural Appalachia, it's hardly worth mentioning if there's more than one degree of separation.
Hatching stupid plots:
The idiocy of Shawn and Belle's "plan" to sneak out in the middle of the night and just hitch a ride on random boats island-to-island is not in the plan itself, but in that if it were an option WHY DIDN'T THEY DO IT WEEKS AGO?
Anyway, much more importantly since it was the first non-stupid thing to happen in this storyline pretty much since it started, I can't believe they had Duck shoot Shawn! That was the most awesome thing to happen on an island since the first season of Survivor.