Days of our Sighs
I have gone on record before with my belief that Drake Hogestyn is awesome. I mean, how can you not think he's awesome? He's completely stuck in the 80s, his repertoire of facial expressions consists solely of raised eyebrows and blank confusion, and he knows how to beat people with his bare hands. He's a national treasure.
As awesome as he is, I can't help but giggle madly every time comatose John is onscreen. I know that I am a horrible person and probably going to hell, but it just makes me laugh and laugh.
It's just me, isn't it?
I always wonder what he thinks about as he pretends to be in a coma.
"I've given this show some of the best years of my life, and am part of one of the most popular couplings in all of the soap operas ever and yet they decide that the best way to utilize my massive popularity is to put me in a coma. A coma! All I do is lay in this bed and have Deirdre slobber all over me. She gasped so loud the other day that I thought she was having an asthma attack and I broke character to see if I should call 911 and we had to reshoot the whole scene."
"The season finale of Desperate Housewives was totally entertaining. Is it possible for a show to unjump the shark after jumping the shark? Has the phrase 'jumping the shark' jumped the shark?"
"I think Bakhtin was correct when he remarked: 'It could be said (with certain reservations, of course) that a person of the Middle Ages lived, as it were, two lives: one that was the official life, monolithically serious and gloomy, subjugated to a strict hierarchical order, full of terror, dogmatism, reverence and piety; the other was the life of the carnival square, free and unrestricted, full of ambivalent laughter, blasphemy, the profanation of everything sacred, full of debasing and obscenities, familiar contact with everyone and everything. Both these lives were legitimate, but separated by strict temporal boundaries. "
"The word booger is really funny. Heh. Booger"
Coma John leads me to my latest DOOL pet peeve.
Look: love can do a lot of things. It's all we need. It's easy because you're beautiful. It can touch us one time and last for a lifetime. It don't cost a thing.
But I cannot deal with a story about how if you love something enough, it will make all of your problems go away! That's not how it works, and believe me, I've tried it--I love James Scott and, tragically, this deep love has not paid off my student loans.
I'm sorry, I know it is a soap opera and I should expect the whole "love cures everything, including terminal illness!", but hating is what I do. It's my thing. And, if we're being honest, I think this annoys me a lot because Marlena and Belle are the ones who are fixing the world with their love. Marlena and Belle suck as it is, there is going to be no living with them after it turns out that they were right and their love cured John and brought back Claire. I already envision the weeks or, god forbid, months of smugness from both of them. "Oh, you used medical facts and common sense? Well, look where that got you. Nowhere. We were right. Neener neener!" You know Shawn sealed his fate when he disagreed with Belle's dream and tried to reason with her and her dorky pajamas. She is soooo not going to have sex with him again until 2015. "You didn't listen to my dreams! You're a horrible excuse for a human being! I hate you and never want to see you again!"
Another pet peeve of the week was Maggie. I know I should be grateful that this show uses its veterans but the buttinski thing is never cute. I understand that it's a hard time in every adult's life when they need to deal with the fact that a nerd and a teen once thought to have perished in a swamp as a newborn could be sexually active, but isn't not thinking about it at all the best way to deal with it? I'm a classic avoider, I guess. Between this and my total inability to love things enough to make the world change, I am beginning to think I am totally damaged. I also have to admit that part of my irritation with this storyline is that the word "panties" skeeves me out a million ways to Sunday, so the repetition of it really bothered me. I feel very unclean.
I was completely entertained by the DiMera storyline today! I love that Tony is just evil, and not ridiculously Snidely Whiplash evil like he was in his last stint. Being creepy always trumps being cartoonish. The entire plot is deliciously creepy (if, okay, a little cheesy: stolen kidneys and stem cells taken from a kidnapped woman? I'm pretty sure this was a Lifetime movie starring Tiffani Amber Thiessen) and it is making me ridiculously excited for the return of Lexie, Anna and Stefano. This summer might be awesome, and not awesomely bad.
FUN FACT: Thaao Penghlis was in a movie on the Lifetime Movie Network that was on earlier starring Melissa Gilbert as a tortured woman (and her double) who was raised by Diane Ladd. And Ms. Ladd, it turns out, was a random crazy who killed her mother. Thaao Penghlis was, of course, a somewhat sinister foreign man. At least he's not typecast or anything! It was one of the five most amazing things I have ever seen in my life.