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« I Have a New BFF | Main | Kudos, Writers. Yes, You Read That Right. »

May 09, 2007

The Day's Dumbest Dialogue

I sometimes think soap headwriters spend the afternoon IMing each other. It's just a theory I have. And it makes more sense than some of my other theories--it's, like, practically plausible.

guzaistheman: What's up Hogan?

hogansheroes: NM, you?

guzaistheman: The usual.

hogansheroes: Violence and misogyny?

guzaistheman: LOLOL

guzaistheman: I'm working on reuniting Jason with his son.

hogansheroes: How's that going?

guzaistheman: Well, I have to ruin Sam, Liz and Lucky in order to do it, but overall it's going great. LOL.

hogansheroes: I'm trying to make Belle and Shawn a couple worth rooting for, but I have really bad writer's block

guzaistheman: You know what I do when I have writer's block?

hogansheroes: Throw darts at your Genie Francis dartboard?

guzaistheman: I do that on payday.

guzaistheman: I watch episodes of Kenan and Kel on YouTube. It's hilarious!

hogansheroes: And it helps?

guzaistheman: It does! And it gives me cool phrases to use.  Like "You go, girlfriend". LMAO.

hogansheroes: Well, it's worth a shot...

That's the only plausible explanation I have for the sudden rise of mid-90s slang on multiple soap operas.

Because there I was all set to enjoy Sami and Lucas's wedding, despite not being a huge fan of the couple, and I had to have my whole happy mellow moment RUINED by WILLOW and her STUPID FLYAWAY HAIR and her RIDICULOUS baiting of Chelsea and seemingly FORGETTING that she committed the crime she's telling everyone Chelsea did and then! THEN! To add insult to injury!

Willow: See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya.

That is not okay. Willow in and of herself is not okay, but...see ya, wouldn't want to be you? Really?  Just stop. Just...stop. 

Comments

I just wanted to say as a fan of both shows I was laughing in agreement with your comments! Both Sheffer and Guza are ruining the characters and the shows right now and they don't seem to care!

I also find half of what Willow says seems to be out of a bad 90s sitcom. It's one of the many things that makes her character so annoying!

Yes Willow is completely delusional. At this point I'm pretty sure she's convinced even herself that she didn't set that fire.

That still of Willow scares the bejeezus out of me. Whhhyyy is she still on this show?

If Guza and Hogie want to bring back the mid-90's slang, maybe they could also bring back Brenda and Bo's Fabio-lous hair look (the only thing I could think of from mid-90's Days).

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