• About Us
  • FAQ
  • Archives
  • Links
  • SOD Columns

Ads

Facebook

  • Serial Drama on Facebook

Subscribe to Serial Drama

  • Add to Google Reader or Homepage

    Subscribe in Bloglines

    Add to My AOL

    Powered by FeedBurner

Shop Amazon.com

  • We'd love it if you would use these links to search or click through to Amazon.com. There is no charge to you and we get credit for linking you. Thanks so much!

    Canadian readers, it works for Amazon.ca too. Search or click here:

« RIP | Main | Days of Our Lives Week in Review »

June 29, 2007

General Hospital Week in Review

Okay, so I'm exhausted because of the potent combination of trying to survive an oppressive heat wave and looking at tremendously bad fashion and hair over the last few days, so this review will be shorter than usual.  It will not, however, be more glowing than usual, because this show continues to find new ways to suck. 

I'll start with the worst of it.  Sam.  Irredeemably ruined, poorly dressed, inexplicably coiffed Sam.  Promising Ingénue covered this ground brilliantly and hilariously, so I will take the low, uncreative approach and just put it right out there:  The people who write this show are no-talent ass clowns.  The end.

Divider

Speaking of those clowns of the no-talent-having, assy variety:  The Logan-is-Scott's-son storyline.  Could they have messed this up any more royally?  Calling it a "storyline" is overly generous.  What did that reveal take, 1/10th of an episode?  Are these writers even familiar with the concept of a soap opera?!?!

They could have had a huge buildup, with Lulu not yet knowing about the rape and neither Scotty nor Logan knowing that they are father and son.  Then Lulu could have uncovered the secret but kept it from Logan because she hates what she thinks Scott did to her mother.  Scott could have learned the truth and that Lulu knew, and told her about the rape out of spite.  Then Lulu could have broken up with Logan, unable to deal with the rape, but then decided she wanted him back only to have him turn her down, furious that she kept the news about being Scott's son from him.  Months of angst could have ensued.  Lulu/Luke drama. Logan/Scott drama.  Lulu/Logan drama.  Luke/Scott drama.  If she were ever allowed back on the set, Genie Francis could have brought some fantastic Laura drama into the mix.  Honestly, there are thousands of people who could have written this story better!  (Apologies that this show's incompetent scribes have turned me into a fan fiction writer.  I hang my head in shame.)

I sort of think that despite the intense resemblance maybe they aren't father and son, because the idiots in charge of this show couldn't have f'ed up this story so badly and blown a great opportunity for a drawn-out, soapily fantastic Long Lost Child and Star-Crossed Romance one-two punch of a story, could they?  They have some really creative and interesting twist that they're crafting to redeem this whole mess?

Um, yeah.  Forget I asked.

Divider

So this week, Jerry . . . I don't know.  I really wasn't paying attention.  He came back and threatened people, or something.  And I think Sonny decked him.  I can't even decide whose side I'm on in that one.

Divider

So, here's some writing that wasn't bad, exactly, just . . . revealing:

Carly to Jason, who is IN JAIL:  ...I’m scared, okay?  I’m really scared that they’re going to take you away from me and lock you up forever, Jason.  That scares me.  What am I going to do without you?  I mean, who’s going to be my voice of reason and tell me not to do something stupid like, you know, sabotage my marriage?  Who is going to tell me that I’m a decent person, okay, and I can be loyal to my husband, even though he abandoned me to go after his brother again?  And y’know, will probably die.  So can you tell, can you tell that I’m really upset and I’m really angry with Jax but I love him, I love being married to him, and I am so scared that the most happiest [sic] time in my life only lasted one month?

Eight sentences, and she says "I," "me," or "my" more than 20 times.  About the state of her romantic life, to a guy who is facing life in prison.  If you know nothing else about the character of Carly, that pretty much says it all.  So does this gem from Sam (back before she became irredeemable) earlier in the week:

Sam: Jason, Carly's always in trouble.  It's how she stays the center of attention.

Word up, Sam.  I'd high five you, but . . . well, you're gross.

Divider

There were a few scenes with Patrick and Robin this week, all of which left me a bit grumpy.  I'm having some follicular issues with both of them (aforementioned issue with Kimberly McCullough's bangs, and disapproval of Jason Thompson's new haircut and that it is being styled as a near-fauhawk).  Plus their scenes were mostly pointless.  I think the writers have just caved under the pressure of having to write for two doctors on a show that's actually about a hospital, by which I mean Night Shift, and have therefore just stopped trying on GH.  The SoapNet promos for NS are promising, which is good, because the scenes these two got this week on GH were alternately coma-inducing and anger-making.

Divider

Kate came face-to-face with the fact that Sonny is a ruthless mobster when she happened upon him "doing business."  So she's incredibly upset.  And I'm sure she will be, right up until the minute that she hops into bed with him and the Sonny Sex cures everything, as it always does, except when it creates an unintended pregnancy, which it also always does, so never mind.

Seriously, why couldn't they have paired the fabulous Megan Ward with someone else and had Sonny pine for Kate?  Just once, could he not get something he wants when he wants it?  It's bad enough that the character has become repulsive, misogynistic, violent, one-note, and smarmy.  Now he suffers from the worst soap character flaw of all:  He's boring.  So boring he makes me want to flip over and watch Dr. Phil. Yes, it really is that bad.

Divider

I think maybe Jason kidnapped his own kid in the middle of a 'roid rage:

Jasonboilerroom

Remember less than a year ago, the Liz-Jason hookup?  That even this Jason-hater thought was super hot?  Largely because 1) Becky Herbst brought it, 2) Steve Burton brought it, and 3) Steve Burton actually got shirtless (despite his rumored religious objections to that particular state of undress -- which are particularly puzzling given that he is a SOAP OPERA ACTOR -- prompting possibly the funniest Promising Ingénue quote ever:  "Perhaps Jesus is a Liason shipper?!?!").  He looked good.  And long before that, waaay back in the day, before he started bulking up at all?  Hot.  But those days are long gone.  He's distractingly enormous. Just say no to Gold's Gym, Steve.  I think you might already own some of these, and as they are a sign of the end of days, I'm worried. 

Oh, and so help me, if we are headed towards a Carly/Jason romance, you are going to have to stop the planet so I can get off.

Comments

You hit the nail on the head. They have stopped caring about Scrubs, even the little bit they ever did, so they just write total crap in the 2 minutes they can be bothered to devote to them. There is an ever-increasing sense of frustration among Scrubs fans. Gee, I can't imagine why.

Bumpy men creep me out, especially when they also have bad hair. A J/C romance would make me want to get off the planet too. Frankly a Jason romance with almost anyone would have that effect. Are you building a rocket for this eventuality and can I get a seat on it?

It is weird that I already want to start a free Kate campaign? I flove her and MW. Such fabulousness should be rewarded with an equally fabulous relationship.

Great! As usual!

I suspect that the writers don't care about the reveal of Logan as Scotty's son, they only care about making Lulu the center of the story somehow and have ignored all the delicious soapy possibilities that would have been great. The concept of telling a story is unknown to these, as you accurately referred to them, "no-talent ass clowns."

I don't care about Jerry either or what happened with Sonny. I just keep wishing they would kill each other and save us all from having to watch them both!

Carly is a selfish witch. Always has been, always will be. Something about knowing that she retains this trait while her bestest friend ever is facing murder charges just warms my heart.

And Jason Thompson IS the HOTNESS. But I hate the new haircut too. It actually distracts from the hotness and that is not acceptable. Perhaps he is displaying empathy and concern for his acting partner by trying to make his hair look bad to take some attention away from her horrible cut, too? Love Kim, hate the bangs. And of course asking the writers to write about/for the hospital and those who actually work there on a show called General Hospital is unreasonable.

As for Kate & Sonny, you have summed up all my fears for her character and my disdain for his, as well. Great work!

I often joke that Guza should just get a Jason blow-up doll to satisfy his urges, but I had no idea that Jason Morgan could ACTUALLY blow-up! Paint him green and call him The Hulk. He already has the bad hair and an endless supply of t-shirts to sacrifice.

As much as I cringed when LW tried to act all breathless and overwhelmed by Jason's wife-beater-wearin' manliness, I laughed out loud when she told him that his neck was too big and he'd been working out too much! ROFL! All I can say is SBu must have a great sense of humor to let that one pass. Hopefully he'll take it to heart though and knock off the supplements. GH worries me -- there's SBu looking unhealthily "bulked" and KS looking anorexic. And it's not just her weight that's scary -- it's the general air of unhealthiness. She used to be beautiful. Now she's got huge dark circles under her eyes, her complexion looks pallid and those roots ... ack! (To say nothing of the ratty extensions.) I know heroine chic used to be in but is she going for the meth chic look?

So...wait. The Logan-is-Scotty's-Son reveal already happened?? Like, everyone knows?? I've missed (not really) the last few days and...what, Logan-is-Scotty's-Son is yesterday's news?? Really? Really!?!

And you're joking, right? Steve Burton has issues taking off his shirt because of religious conflictions?? Really? Seriously!?!

You're comment "I think maybe Jason kidnapped his own kid in the middle of a 'roid rage," had me in hysterics. It seriously made my rather dismal evening.

If the "Steve Burton is devoutly religious" thing is true, then the irony is depressing and hilarious (depressarious?). I mean, if the rumor is true, then it's against his morals to have his shirt off even if it's not in the context of an explicit sex scene, but he doesn't seem to object to portraying a character who is a professional killer and never suffers serious consequences for it?

The shirtless thing makes sense to me. Ruthless mobster killer is acting, the skin is all him. What I don't get is why he bulked up just to not show it off. Or is he trying to make up for being fully clothed by letting everyone know what's underneath?

I know Mr. Burton has commented before that he didn't refuse shirtless scenes because he's a Christian- even went so far as to say how hypocritical it would be to object to sex scenes but not violent ones- but chalks it up to his Krispy Kreme season pass. He doesn't really ring bells for me, but I'd like to see him back at the donut shack.

EvilButTwinless, you have a very good point. "...and blown a great opportunity for a drawn-out, soapily fantastic Long Lost Child and Star-Crossed Romance one-two punch of a story, could they?"

The one thing daily soaps have going for them over other kinds of tv shows is the time they can take, exploring all these little nuances. Now, in their efforts to be fast-paced and exciting, they've only gotten more boring.

"I know Mr. Burton has commented before that he didn't refuse shirtless scenes because he's a Christian- even went so far as to say how hypocritical it would be to object to sex scenes but not violent ones"

Thanks for that info, Robyn. He seems like a decent guy but those rumors made me hate him a little bit. Particularly since he was in Playgirl, for crying out loud. But regardless, they brought "Perhaps Jesus is a Liason shipper?!?!" into my life, so while I apologize for rumor-mongering I'm not 100% sorry.

I still think he needs to chill on the workouts. He looks like he could break Kelly M or Becky H in half with his bare hands.

Re hideously bad fashion:
What is with that SCARF Carly was wearing?!? What is with Sam's constant state of near (strappy) undress?

Re Scott-Logan reveal: I'm actually glad that for once they didn't turn it into some big long drawn out secret. They've done that already, like, how many times? But you're right: it's so obvious that maybe they'll surprise us & it'll turn out to have been a red herring. (Wouldn't that be something? Maybe LOGAN will be Alexis' long lost, not Sam! Maybe Sky, like Bobbie, will turn out to have had a child before she couldn't possibly ever have a child. Maybe Sam, who can't have a child, will have a child, and we'll find out the whole town's in a time warp.)

Re Jerry: yeah, Sonny punched somebody. He punched MR. Craig! Wow! And here I thought Sonny was going to replace Alan Quartermaine as Santa Claus. (My favorite thing about AQ? He was NEVER afraid of Sonny, never!)

Have truer words ever been written?:
"Kate [is] incredibly upset. And I'm sure she will be, right up until the minute that she hops into bed with him and the Sonny Sex cures everything, as it always does, except when it creates an unintended pregnancy, which it also always does, so never mind."

Oh, yes, true as that is, truer words HAVE been spoken; to wit:

"It's bad enough that the character has become repulsive, misogynistic, violent, one-note, and smarmy. Now he suffers from the worst soap character flaw of all: He's boring."

Except for one thing: he was ALWAYS misogynistic, violent, one-note, and smarmy. Remember the Paradise Club, or whatever it was called?

And, finally:
"So boring he makes me want to flip over and watch Dr. Phil. Yes, it really is that bad."

Ah ha ha ha ha!!!

You're the best!

P.S. They can't think of anything to do with Scrubs but one stupid manufactured argument-followed-by-making-up after another? What is wrong with them? Or do they just have them treading water in the build up to Night Shift?

As for the Incredible Bulk. . . there are no words.

Wonderful ASSessment!

Your version of the Logan/Scotty reveal is fab. Seriously, I was all for it coming out but when I did it definitely left me with a "...that was it?" feeling. The first thing I thought, like you mentioned, that maybe they wont really be father and son and his mother just lied to him or something because that was TOO flipping easy. But then I realized, it's GH, Guza was probably thinking "Scott's over 40 and has been a viable part of this shows rich history for decades, well - no point in showing him for more than five minutes a month."

And I loved the J/C scene where Carly asked what happened to his neck. Priceless. That was the only good that came from those entirely pointless scenes that could have been time spent on Kin Shriner.

I think the Scrubs scenes this week were just the writers punishing us for being fans. "You like this adorable and charming pairing with loads of chemistry and potential? We'll show you! We'll write the worlds most pointless, boring and out of nowhere scenes! Who's wishing for more JaSam/Liason now?!"

Okay, somehow with trying to ignore the Carly/Jason pseudo-flirting, I missed this, kazou: "I laughed out loud when she told him that his neck was too big and he'd been working out too much!"

I might have to do a retroactive Day's Most Awesome Dialogue.

I also love the Scrubs, but is anyone mildly annoyed with Robin always picking fights with Patrick? I mean the poor guy can't do/say anything without her turning it into, "where's this relationship going, you are a habitual womanizer,lets analyze your daddy issues" If I had a funny handsome neurosurgeon interested in me, I would certainly not provoke him into re-evaluating the relationship. I would be interested in learning the method that allows you to constantly pick fights and change your mind and still keep him panting after you.

Is Genie Francis weight the reason they don't give her a contract. She has been slender now for a few years. I know at one time they were always after her about her weight. I just wonder why they won't put her on on contract instead of just put her on for a few weeks. She is slender and beautiful as ever now.

The comments to this entry are closed.