I Believe That Children Are the Future
My latest goal in life is to somehow, some way convince the producers of The Young and the Restless and General Hospital to agree to a crossover. Shockingly, I did not get the idea while daydreaming of Brad Carlton getting caught in the middle of a Port Charles mob war, although that is certainly an awesome side effect.
No, the reason that the denizens of Genoa City and Port Charles need to meet is simple: Abby Carlton needs to hang out with Cameron Webber as soon as possible, just so we can all see their facial expressions as they gossip about their parents. It would be a totally animated conversation!
I know that Abby is, like, kind of robotic, but I almost stood up and cheered for her during today's episode when she pulled a Brenda Walsh and succinctly told Brad and Victoria that she hated them both. The revulsion on her face was a thing of beauty. She totally deserves a spot in the Expression Hall of Fame.
Rock on, Abby. Rock on.
Disappointingly, Brad only had this to say in response:
If I were to tell Brad I hated him, that's all I'd get?! I think that was supposed to be shock, but I don't blame you for thinking it was horror, anger, sadness or glee, because they all look the same.
If only all Genoa City children were as awesome as Abby!
I know that the writers feel that 10 years old is the same as 3 years old, which is why we always see Noah acting like he just learned his ABCs and that I should not expect some sort of complex thought process from him, but that didn't stop me from hoping that he'd start to connect the dots during Jack's trip down memory lane.
JACK: Well, sport, I remember this one time when your dad and I were on a Boy Scout camping trip--
NOAH: You went on a camping trip with my dad?
JACK: I did, I was your father's stepfather at the time.
NOAH: And now you're my stepfather.
JACK: Indeed I am.
NOAH: So you married my grandma and then my mom?
JACK: Yes, sport, I did.
NOAH: WTF, dude? This family is twisted.
That conversation was way too weird for me. Jack was married to Nikki and is now married to Nikki's former daughter-in-law. And, hey, Nikki was once engaged to Brad, who was just married to her daughter. The dynamics of this family are just begging to be adapted into a VC Andrews novel.
And that's not taking into account the fact that most of these memories that everybody has of Nick growing up are completely made up because Nick went from three years old practically overnight. Victoria's whole "I remember when Nick and I were playing hide and seek and he fell asleep outside" or whatever speech she gave that day was clearly influenced by methamphetamines of some sort. Or maybe it is just an example of how SORASing screws things up. But I think meth usage would be a better explanation, as it would also explain why Victoria keeps getting involved with losers.
And then there's Daniel.
In my culture, we have a term for people who drop everything for and lie repeatedly to their wife on behalf of a skanky girl. It's "skeevy-ass loser".
I mean, seriously. SERIOUSLY.
There is a HUGE problem when your actions are being judged by (1)a reformed internet predator who thinks you're a pervert and (2)your mother, who is pissed at you for lying while she crashes on the couch of her ex-husband who she is currently duping into thinking she is legitimately injured when she's not.
SEE, Daniel? Do you SEE what your friendship with Amber has done? KEVIN and PHYLLIS are looking down their noses at you! That should be the wakeup call you need.