As the Scalpel Cuts: Not That We Mean To Imply Anything With That Title
Seeing Hunter Tylo at the Daytime Emmys reminded me of an article I read recently, the brilliance of which I had to share with you. However, before we begin, let's assess how we all feel about Ms. Tylo's appearance of late, shall we? Here she is at the Emmys.
So, I had never previously read Soap Opera Weekly, but I recently picked up a copy (for research!), and...is it always this awesomely, slyly bitchy towards unlikeable stars? I might have to subscribe.
Let me back up for a second. Neither of us here at Serial Drama watches The Bold and the Beautiful (Please don't bother commenting to tell us how we should therefore shut up about anyone on the show, because have you ever read this site before? Shutting up is not what we do here). But, both because of her [thankfully] brief tenure as Marina on Days and because she is all over the soap press, through the years we have nonetheless been exposed to Hunter Tylo. Promising Ingénue has explained some of the reasons Ms. Tylo is a bit of an oddball (please especially note "agent of the devil" reference). So imagine my delight when I saw on the cover of SOW that Ms. Tylo appeared to be coming clean about her myriad nips and tucks! That kind of candor could make me get past the whole seems-to-be-a-whackadoodle thing. But alas, the headline "Hunter Tylo: Surgery Snafu" was about no such confession -- how silly of me to have misunderstood what was clearly not an attempt by the magazine to get in a dig at Ms. Tylo! Here's the article itself:
Plastic Surgery SNAFU for B&B Star
A Web site devoted to celebs' plastic surgery claims to have come under fire for implying that The Bold and the Beautiful star Hunter Tylo (Taylor) went under the knife.
The unnamed Webmaster of www.awfulplasticsurgery.com recently posted an e-mail, allegedly sent on Tylo's behalf, threatening legal action for what its author deemed libelous statements regarding Tylo -- unless those statements and the corresponding photos were removed from the site immediately.
"It has recently come to our attention that your Internet Web site . . . has posted at least one false and defamatory statement about Ms. Tylo," wrote the person claiming to represent Tylo. "Specifically, an article entitled: 'Hunter Tylo and her shelf boobs.'" [Ed. note: This is the "article."]
The offending commentary (posted Aug. 1, 2005) included, among other things, "They jut out like a shelf and look strangely out of place on her small petite frame."
Nothing could be found regarding the supposed law firm cited in the e-mail, "Grecon Associates," and no one involved wanted to talk about it. A spokesperson for B&B responds that it is the show's policy never to comment on actors' personal lives. Tylo's manager, Marv Dauer, also declined comment.
Things I love about this article:
- it is accompanied by four photos of Hunter Tylo (dated 1989, 2001, 2005, and 2007), entitled "Tylo, beautiful through the years," and she looks pretty much like a different person in each one. (Note to Grecon Associates: That's in my personal, sarcastically critical opinion, which is in no way an assertion of fact!) It's something along the lines of: 1 2 3 4
- that the 2005 photo is this one, which 1) is a version of the one Promising Ingénue linked to last year, and 2) so obviously disproves the aforementioned vicious "shelf boobs" allegation! (Much like this one does as well. And this one. And this one.)
- that it doesn't even attempt to dispute the accuracy of the allegedly libelous statements on the website
- that it highlights that this issue allegedly came to the alleged attention of Tylo's alleged lawyers "recently," while the article has been on the website for nearly two years
- did I mention the "Hunter Tylo: Surgery Snafu" and "Plastic Surgery SNAFU for B&B Star" headlines?!
I'll give Hunter Tylo the benefit of the doubt -- as I am not an agent of the devil -- and assume the cease and desist letter is a hoax. Because truth is a defense to libel, and she has to know that it's totally obvious she's done more tune-ups than the average Jiffy Lube, right? Regardless, my hat is off to Soap Opera Weekly's sly bitchiness. I need to see more of this in the press. I would totally start reading newspapers if they would just incorporate something along these same lines.