Soap I Don't Watch #2: The Bold and the Beautiful
So it turns out at least a few of our readers watch the first Soap I Don't Watch, Guiding Light. And shockingly, since just days before I had thought it was imaginary, I liked the show. Apparently it is seconds away from cancellation, which is a bummer, but it may free up several really good actors to be picked up by shows I actually do watch, so that's good news. For me. Which is really how all things must be viewed; by their impact on my life.
Anyway, next up in the SoapNet Daytime Emmy Dramarama marathon is little show about people, some of whom are bold, and others of whom are beautiful. I actually remember this show debuting in the 80s, and I was rather pleasantly surprised to see that a bunch of the original actors, whom I watched back in the day at the Soap Opera Digest awards and other high-brow events, are still on the show. I think this soap might actually respect its veterans instead of casting them aside for 19-year-olds. I will need some time to adjust to such a phenomenon. Here are some other things I noticed about this show (two episodes of it, because of that wacky half-hour format it has), continuing with the scientifically proven "pro and con" format.
The Bold and the Beautiful Pros:
- Betty White!!! Well, that's it. This is already better than every soap I've ever watched, combined. And her character is a heinous bitch, apparently. Awesome.
- The mom from The Wonder Years! Norma! Forty-five seconds in and I am overdosing on 80s sitcom nostalgia. Can Charlotte Rae and Meredith Baxter-Birney be far behind?
- The opening credits include the actors' names. I always thought that was so stupid that soaps don't do that -- it just fuels the crazies who think the actors are their characters. Plus it means I have to do actual research in order to write about actors here on the blog, and that's just unnecessary.
- They weren't on these episode, but Jack Wagner and Antonio Sabato Jr. are both on this show! Frisco/Dr. Peter Burns! Jagger! Right there, B&B is an improvement over Guiding Light in the hot men department.
- There are several married couples, who appear to have been together for at least a little while. Bob Guza would watch and have this reaction to such relationships.
- The interior of the Forrester's private plane is PINK! And is furnished in a way utterly incompatible with air travel! And features a glass dividing wall with their name etched into it. That is some serious nouveau-riche fabulosity.
- Is set in Los Angeles, an actual place. Unlike, say, Days of Our Lives, which is set in Salem, which is on a major river which easily connects to an ocean yet is in the midwest, is just hours away from the South Pacific, is a major metropolitan city with an international airport yet is a small town in which everyone knows each other, and is moments away from both Canada and tropical islands. Or General Hospital, set in Port Charles, which is both helicopter-distance from Manhattan and an hour or so away from the Caribbean.
- Is there a better collection of true soap opera names anywhere in daytime? Brooke, Ridge, Thorne, Massimo, Ambrosia, Deacon, Darla? Hilarious.
- It's only half an hour. Do you know how much I would pay for most episodes of General Hospital to last only 30 minutes? Or 30 seconds, for that matter?
The Bold and the Beautiful Cons:
- Hunter Tylo. I'm sorry, but it's traumatizing just to look at her.
- Ron Moss was noticeably scarf-less.
- Ron Moss' pinky ring is arguably scarier than Hunter Tylo's face.
- Are Ross Moss' and Lesli Kay's characters siblings? Because the way he was holding her face and looking at her was not very brotherly. (It was a bit Walsh-twins-esque.)
- Because it's only half an hour, it seems like not a whole lot happens each episode. I bet James E. Reilly wishes he had that kind of time-based excuse for the same offense.