Days of Our Lives Week in Review
This week was a bit mixed for me. I like most of what's going on (though not enough to break out the Awesomeness Rating Scale), but the Touch the Sky Airlines stories and basically everything involving the younger characters are tempting my TiVo's fast-forward button, which hasn't seen action during Days in months. But enough with an introduction, because I need to talk about how fabulous Anna is.
Anna is one of the best returning characters in recent years, and Leann Hunley is thoroughly entertaining, but like Promising Ingénue I must question what the hair stylists were going for here:
It's like the wig Stockard Channing wears during the Sandra Dee number in Grease. But Tamaranna is still awesome, which was amplified by the flashback reminder of how longstanding Leann Hunley's fabulousness is:
This, and she got paid to make out with Josh Jackson, people. Life is so unfair. (By the way, did she intentionally perfectly duplicate that scene? The eyebrow cocking is even identical!)
She had one of my favorite lines of the week, upon arriving on the almost-deserted tropical island:
Anna: This damn heat. What I wouldn't give for a mai-tai and a cabana boy.
You are a woman after my own heart, Tamaranna DiMera.
So anyway, this whole island storyline. I thought it was fun, certainly much preferable to several of the other things that got so much airtime this week, like the idiotic Touch the Sky Airlines stuff. Plus I like the vets showing everyone how it's done . . . three episodes on Tony's island was more entertaining than the 17 or so weeks that Shawn and Belle spent on their non-deserted island after they threw Claire off that cruise ship.
I wasn't watching Days yet when Tony and Anna were on, so I don't have nostalgic feelings for that couple like I do for others who have returned (or never left), but Anna is so awesome that she's become one of my favorites over just a few weeks. Her crashing John and Marlena's hump-fest on the private jet was hilarious.
John going all feminine with the "how do I look?" routine was lame,
but it brought this screencap into my life, which I will love forever:
Fabulous! I loved how Marlena was all judgmental of Anna being dressed inappropriately for a deserted island. Because clearly a denim pantsuit from the Chico's spring 1993 line, with white Keds, is the correct attire for such events.
Go on, adventure girl!
I am so screwed if I ever have an ex-husband, who's been impersonated by his identical cousin, trapped on a deserted tropical island and I have to go see him in order to kiss him to provide the only truly reliable form of positive identification because DNA in my town is less reliable than an early-90s Hyundai. My closet is sadly lacking in both pink satin cocktail dresses and Chico's denim.
I also loved this:
Marlena: Nobody looks the way they did 20 years ago. Nobody, Anna.
Well, you do, actually. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Once on the island, John provided one of the week's stranger
physical reactions, when he shook Tony's hand. I can't capture it
here, but his hand literally took like ten seconds to grasp Tony's. It
was so bizarre. And then it looked painful.
It's like the director's note was "because of their shared mother that Tony doesn't yet know about, this introduction is going to be really difficult for John," and Drake Hogestyn interpreted that to mean physically. Cannot close fingers . . . Ow, too firm . . .
(Momentary diversion: I was only watching intermittently back then, but didn't they confirm John's eleventeenth version of his parentage by doing a DNA test with Tony, who it now turns out is Andre? So is John really Andre's brother, or are we to assume that Stefano messed with the DNA results? And if so, why on earth would Stefano want John to be Daphne's son? Wait, why am I thinking about this?)
But the bizarre handshake wasn't the weirdest or most entertaining reaction of the week, because Thaao Penghlis was in rare form as Andre and Tony. As an aside, I am totally okay with this re-write of history that Andre somehow survived drowning in quicksand and Tony's been sexin' it up with island girls for the last couple of decades. Anytime the new writers want to erase some of the bullshit nonsense that Reilly's team did in the late 90s up until last year (Tony is now a psychopath, and devoted to Stefano...?) is fine with me. Especially if I get to see soapy acting like this:
This last one is my favorite. Kevin from Home Alone has finally been rescued off the island where his stupid family forgot him a couple dozen years ago!
I actually thought Thaao did a good job of distinguishing between the two characters. The second he came onscreen as the real Tony, everything about him was different (er, except that he's the same guy, but you know what I mean). His body language, demeanor, the whole thing. And am I crazy, or is Tony -- who has been on an island in the middle of the tropics without SPF for 20 years -- actually less tan than Andre?
On to something that doesn't entertain me AT ALL. Someone please, I
beg of you, stop John and Marlena from having any more make-out scenes.
I've reached the point where I could not be more disturbed by their kissing if they were in full S&M gear.
And while we're on the subject of stuff about John and Marlena that annoys me . . . Marlena's moaning. I think Deidre Hall is just messing with us at this point, because this week Marlena started "talking" entirely in moans. John was like hey, we're going to a tropical island to rescue Tony, who as it turns out has been a prisoner there for a couple of decades. And Marlena -- in a way that I cannot possibly capture the ridiculousness of in print, without audio accompaniment -- moans: "Oooh? [pause] Ooooooh." And then they cut to commercial. I swear to god, she said no words. Just moaning! For once I found it hilarious instead of disturbing.
I sort of love how versatile she finds the faux-orgasm sounds. Shocked? Dismayed? Turned on? Happy? Sad? Worried? The moan has all your bases covered! It's like "aloha," only porn-y.
So, Stephanie may be completely fucked up, in a borderline-abusive
relationship, completely lacking any of her parents' good qualities,
and a regular abuser of the word "papa," but she is adorable and has this cute dress:
...so she's got that going for her, which is nice. However, her bag is hideous:
That much gold vinyl in one place should be illegal. In fact, I might need to be persuaded that there is ever an acceptable use for gold vinyl.
It was good that Steph bounced back with a cute dress, since just a few hours before her boyfriend went pseudo-homicidal on her. After the whole near-drowning-via-dunking incident, Jeremy was all zen:
Zen, or practicing for when someone finally takes him out. You know, I think he'd even die smarmily. The actor is doing a good job of playing Jeremy as a flat-out villain, I just don't know why that's the direction they're going in with this character, or if they're ever going to fill in the blanks about why he became the way he is.
Since she is unfortunately entangled in this Touch the Sky crap, I
guess this is a good place to ask: Are they just SORASing without
recasting now? Chelsea
is 21? Even though she just graduated from high school a couple of
months ago and was a minor
during her "trial" last year? Didn't they do this with Belle a few
years back? So we were supposed to believe Kirsten Storms, who looked
15, was a senior in college, or something? It's so confusing. Won't
anyone please think
of how easily I get confused before they do things like this? Anyway,
whatever age she is, I just hope Chelsea has access to intravenous
antibiotics, because that Vegas hot tub must be one big petri dish by
Speaking of Chelsea, who has probably turned 35 in the time it took me to write this, apparently since she and Nick were together for a whole two weeks the writers have to break them up and put Chelsea with Jett. Snore. Those scenes are not holding my attention at all, except for the fact that suddenly Blake Berris has gotten super hot. He's always been cute, but he's really graduated to hotness recently. When did that happen, and what can we do to make sure it continues?
There is one thing I find somewhat interesting about Jett. This week for the first time I noticed that the actor who plays him appears to have an English accent. Could this be a plot twist? Jett is really British and is in the ISA? And he's undercover? And one of his colleagues is Andrew Donovan, who followed in his dad's footsteps but will join Jett in Salem and bring his reformed-hooker sister Eve back with him?
Yeah, probably not.
One of the things I love about Days these days is that because there are so many actors who have been on the show forever or who have recently come back, that they can do flashbacks to the show's heyday. Like this week's with Anna and Tony, and Bo and Hope.
I am loving Bo and Hope lately. First of all, I'm shallow, and Kristian Alfonso and Peter Reckell are looking gorgeous. We talk about
her around here quite a bit, but I feel the need to give him credit
too. He seems to be getting better with age, and I don't even mean
that in the fake way almost everyone else does when they say it. He
really does look hot! Getting rid of the mullet of course helped tremendously,
but he's also in great shape and has an ease about him that's fun to
watch. But it's also that the characters are well-written (most of the time)
and their dialogue seems natural. It helps that they stopped writing
Bo as a doofus (that's all Roman's gig now), and that they're past the
incredibly depressing and unnecessary Chelsea-kills-Zach story.
Anyway, never let it be said that I never say something nice around
here. It's rare, but it happens.
You know, I take it all back. Shawn and Belle are totally hot for each other. They're a couple for the ages. They're not mind-numbingly boring at all. Why, just look at this body language:
I am not one to make fun of someone's height; I am a mere 5'3" myself. And this is not really about Bryan Datillo being short (I don't think he is) as much as it is about James Scott being kind of ridiculously tall (IMDB says he's 6'8"!), but . . . is it wrong if I giggle when Lucas gets all macho and threatens to kill EJ (which is, you know, daily)?
Because 1) EJ's a DiMera, they can't be killed, and 2) he's like a foot and half taller than you, dude -- unless you sneak up on him in his sleep, I think he can take you.
Oh, this reminds me! James Scott is ridiculously good looking:
He even almost managed to make eating an artichoke seem sexy this week. Artichokes are one of my top five favorite foods, but let's face it, scraping junk off the bottom of a leaf is not hot.
I said he almost managed it. That 'stache kills the hotness.
I am enjoying the Colleen and Santo scenes much more than I thought I would, and probably much more than I should. The actors just have such great chemistry, which they can't really play on as Sami and EJ anymore, and the story is really sweet (when you set aside the upcoming brutal murder, I mean). Ali Sweeney must really like playing Colleen, too, because at the very least it means she gets to wear the habit:
So the hair people can't do stuff like this to her:
First the Whitesnake video 'do, now this? How in the name of Paul Mitchell do you screw up hair as amazing as Ali Sweeney's? It's criminal.
I know I've said this before, but the Sami and Lucas make-out sessions and sex talk are going to be the end of me. I like both the actors and I'm fine with the characters being together, but . . . First, I must repeat my request that the sound team TURN DOWN THE MICS. Or maybe the actors can alter their screen-kissing technique. Because my god, has there ever been louder kissing on television? And second, the sex references are getting ridiculous:
Lucas: The same way I make love to you 24-7, I can eat 24-7.
STOP IT! Stopitstopitstopit. Why can't these two just be hot for each other, instead of constantly telling us how hot they are for each other? It's like a John and Marlena prequel.
They need to tone down the sex talk A LOT and just work on demonstrating natural affection for each other. Like Kristian Alfonso and Peter Reckell do. Or, you know, like this:
Most screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.