Days of Our Lives Week in Review
There's so much awesomeness on Days these days, I feel like I need to implement an awesomeness rating system. If I had any graphics capabilities, I would totally create a scale like the terrorism alert one, with levels somewhat along the lines of:
1: "you baby-stealing BITCH!!!"
2: people who are above the legal drinking age being the focus of multiple episodes
3: NellLexie. Nightclub tunnel. Julie Horton karate-stancing while Hope eyebrows.
4: Tony ON A HORSE/EJ mocking comatose John
5: supercouples on a crazy adventure in an exotic locale in the 80s
But then I'd be tied to those designations, and there seem to be new levels of awesome every week that deserve to be incorporated as warranted. So we'll go with this scale for now, but I will be on the lookout for new additions. This is new territory for me, enjoying a soap on a weekly basis, but I think I can handle it.
Steve basically spent the entire week being totally awesome.
trying to get Bart to dance
trying to get Tony to dance
making out with Hope and then teasing Bo about it
and having the quote of the week (about Tony):
Stefano: You know, I think this is the moment for a little explanation here. Beginning with the fact that my son is out on that couch.
Steve: Well, my guess is they discontinued his tanning products.
Haaaa! (I thought Kristian Alfonso was going to lose it. I wonder whether it was an ad lib. Totally hilarious.)
Awesomeness level: 5
Sami having twins is great, especially if they do go the soapy route and have one be EJ's and one Lucas's. However, I am perplexed as to why, since Lexie (the worst doctor in the world) was not Sami's ob-gyn, they didn't discover until like month six that there were two fetuses in there? Other than "uterus occupied? yes/no" (a threshold question that "Dr." Lee on GH hasn't quite mastered), it seems like the number of heartbeats and so forth would be quite obvious to even a sub-par physician.
I like that it's not a big stretch that Sami would have twins, too, since she and her mom are both fraternal twins themselves (I imagine Marlena is an especially, um, fraternal twin these days, since I suspect it's unlikely Deidre's non-famous sister is as well-preserved, right?).
Anyway, overall I hope for awesomely soapy possibilities with these two upcoming babies and their parentage. And I kind of hope the boy is EJ's, if only because when they SORAS him in a few years to his early-20s, the casting department will be forced to cast someone who looks like James Scott.
Awesomeness level: 3
This story of the mystery of who killed Colleen Brady is shaping up better than I expected. Usually on Days the viewer can figure out the answer to a "mystery" months before the writers reveal it, but I really don't have a clear idea of where they're going with this one. My only quibble is with the stupid photos of "Colleen" (Ali Sweeney with her hair curled) and "Santo" (James Scott in a mustache that even the worst prop comedian would reject as too obvious; last week when someone asked EJ if he saw the resemblance, I about died laughing).
But at least the stupidity is making me laugh, instead of rocking in the corner as in years past. And the good parts of the storyline are truly enjoyable to watch, especially because they involve all the Salem veterans. I've been conditioned by years of watching General Hospital to be befuddled when I see a non-mobster over-40 character in a front-burner storyline, but I'm getting the hang of this whole "enjoying the hell out of seeing actors you grew up watching kicking butt and making a show fun again" thing.
Awesomeness level: 4
Anna flirting with Tony and arguing with Roman was campy and
delightful. Leann Hunley is a bit over-the-top, but in the most
enjoyable soap diva kind of way. Like Promising Ingénue, I wasn't watching yet when she was on the first time around, so to me she's Tamara, the teacher
lucky inappropriate enough to sleep with Pacey on Dawson's Creek. (Not that I watched Dawson's Creek. I, uh, read an article about that storyline. I think it was in Newsweek.)
But I like Tamaranna already. Especially because she mentioned the
Cheatin' Heart! I thought everyone had forgotten about that charming
little dive bar.
We won't discuss the alleged Roman/Tamaranna sex; I'm sure that's some kind of weird Friday misleading cliffhanger. It is, right? Please say yes.
Anyway, happier thoughts! Look, it's Tony and Anna's wedding! They both look gorgeous! (Could it turn out that at some point she secretly had his kid? Competing DiMera heirs!) Eugene and Calliope are there! And Kimmie Gibbler is Carrie! But oh my god her 80s wedding gown and hat (!)
Awesomeness level: 4 (I retain the right to deduct points depending on the Roman outcome)
There was, however, some non-awesomeness this week.
Take for example: the bad sex, the talking about the bad sex,
the destruction of Nick as a character. This would have earned an even
lower rating, but there is a bit of poetic justice in someone switching
Sami's paternity test results without her knowledge, so that bumped it
up a bit. (I still think this show has got to stop going to that
test-switching well, though. It is way past dry.)
Awesomeness level: -4
Why are they writing Billie as a moron? Telling Kate something she could use against Sami? What? That was so stupid. And could they please give Billie something to do? Julie Pinson is great and way too good to just pop in once or twice a week to roll her eyes at Kate or express her disappointment in Chelsea. Are they completely unable to write for a woman who is not in a romantic relationship, unless she's a professional bitch (Kate)?
Awesomeness level: -2
Belle still bores me to tears. I cannot muster any interest in her, or by extension whether she's with Shawn or Phillip. She had that great shining moment a couple of weeks back with the "you baby-stealing BITCH!!!" gloriousness, but now she's back to yawnville. Maybe Sami could sell her on the black market again. That could be interesting.
(I do, however, continue to find it immensely entertaining that one of the twins who plays Claire seems to hate poor Martha Madison. She is physically repelled by her. It's too funny.)
Awesomeness level: -3
Why is Kayla at some stupid conference? And where the heck is Adrienne? Plus, are they ever going to mention Justin or any of her four [invisible] children?
Awesomeness level: -2
This week, Jeremy built on his already stellar base of jerkitude. He smarmily piloted a plane, smarmily did business with EJ, smarmily continued to paw Stephanie, smarmily revealed a "business partner" who I'm pretty sure is Jeff Spicoli.
Every minute I spend watching this whole Touch the Sky Airlines ridiculousness deletes IQ points. And I don't have that many to spare! I would like for this arc to wrap up soon, but I don't really see that happening. (The only bright spot this week was Chelsea mentioning Heathers. Love! Though do kids her age actually know that movie? I feel like it's not as timeless as Fast Times or Clueless or Mean Girls and so maybe that was the writers getting a fun line in for themselves.)
I internet-hate Jeremy. Therefore I am unable to allow a discussion of
anything associated with him to be attached to a level of awesomeness, even negative
awesomeness. Are you happy, Jeremy? You smarmily ruined my theme for the week. Bastard.
Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.