Remember when Victor was off gallivanting around the world in the wake of his son's death, ostensibly to find his other son, but, really, it was just gallivanting for the hell of it and seriously, what kind of a person is like, "Oooh, you're mourning the death of your only son, but, hey, I've got another son, so I'm going to go find him or whatever. Don't let my absence get in the way of your grieving! I might call, but I might not! Laters!"? And the first glimpse we got of him was when he saw the clip of Nikki and David making out on
YouTube ViewClick? In one grumpy facial expression, he conveyed disdain, impatience, sadness and anger. And also hunger.
That accurately describes how I feel about The Young and the Restless lately. After it won half an Emmy for Best Daytime Drama, I was all set to give it a second chance. Maybe I was being too critical (if there is such a thing). If Emmy voters considered it worthy of a tie for Best Drama, who was I to argue? So I watched, open-minded and after, I don't know, thirteen minutes of my first non-judgy episode, I was like, "I'm listening to the freaking Emmy voters who gave Christian LeBlanc the Emmy over Peter Bergman? The people who bestowed Best Drama upon General Hospital last year for the trainwreck episode where an MTV VJ died and nobody noticed for like six hours? What is wrong with me?! That's about as taking fashion advice from Victoria Beckham. Open-mindedness is for squares! Hypercriticism is where it's at!"
That was a long-winded way of saying that this show is not good and it's non-goodness is making me cranky. And, apparently, super talkative.
It's hard to watch scenes with Colleen in them without thinking, "Aww, honey! You're going to be gone on July 18th! And while you were filming these scenes, you had no idea that you were going to be out of a job soon. But your replacement totally did, because she added Y&R to her CV in the beginning of June. You poor girl!"
It really takes me out of the scene.
I'm really going to try to give Tammin Sursok a chance, because it's not her fault that the Y&R brass fired her predecessor in a completely shitty way. And also, Tammin Sursok may be the best name in the history of the world.
But really, I don't think this recast is necessary. Adrianne Leon had already demonstrated chemistry with her onscreen boyfriend and her onscreen father. Guys, BRAD is her onscreen father! Generating family chemistry with him is like getting a block of wood to speak to you in Latin.
And really, what is Y&R's Aussie fetish? I love Australia as much as the next person and I have wonderful cousins who live there, but it's just a little, you know, strange. Why cast someone who is going to have to learn an American accent? What was with making Cane Australian? Why am I even bothering to ask questions of LML's regime at Y&R?
Victoria's "two week pregnant" belly is freaking me out. Her stomach is larger than Liz Spencer's was when Liz was almost due to give birth. It's so silly that they had Victoria miscarry just so she could have sex with JT and Brad and immediately get pregnant and usher in the latest Who's The Daddy storyline. Because we can never have too many of those and it's not like there was just a Phyllis/Jack/Nicholas Who's the Daddy story last year. Like, really, the child is screwed either way. One candidate is about as interesting as a rice cake and the other is a robot. And the kid's mom dresses like a schoolmarm. An unfashionable schoolmarm.
Speaking of Victoria, I feel that someone who dresses as poorly as she does is not in the position to be high horsing around and generally being a vile bitch to her sister-in-law whose husband is back from the dead but doesn't remember her. The glee that Vicki and Nikki have when they're being mean to Phyllis is just ugly. I know that Phyllis is a sociopath who goes out of her way to ruin lives and, sure, she stole Nick from Sharon, but it's not like the Newman ladies ever liked Sharon anyway, so whatever.
Phyllis has been super annoying for the past few months, but she has me back in her corner right now. How heartbreaking must it be to lose your husband and then have him come back from the dead only to say he has no memory of being married to you and doesn't know why he'd ever fall in love with you. I mean, he said it politely and it's probably karma kicking her in the ass, but still. Poor, poor Phyllis and her shiny, shiny hair.
Speaking of Nick Newman, Now With 100% More Amnesia: I am sort of enjoying this storyline. I never knew that Josh Morrow had it in him, but he's been amazing. Especially when he learned (or re-learned, I guess) that Cassie died. The way his voice cracked? Brilliant.
And I am pleasantly surprised that Logan has not become the object of his affection (yet) and wasn't a psychopath (yet). I mean, don't get me wrong, I am annoyed that yet another new character is on the canvas, but LML refrained from the two most hackneyed "person wakes up from horrible accident in the wilderness and is taken in by a kind stranger" storylines. So, um, props, Lynn Marie.
Although: What's with the name Logan? Why is there a Logan on every show ever? Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, General Hospital and now Y&R? And a girl on Y&R? There are plenty of girl names they could have given her! Like, say, I don't know...Mallory?
Daniel can leave Genoa City forever and come back only after he got a brain transplant, though. Remember when Audrey on Dawson's Creek had a downward spiral over the course of an episode? That was better written and more thought out than Daniel's life-wrecking addiction to porn. I don't get how LML was like, "Good looking guy in his 20s, what can we do with him? I know, PORN!" And now he's all going into skeezy strip clubs and continuing to spend all of his free time with Amber even though that's what his wife expressly wants him to stop doing? WTF?
It's hard to get emotionally involved in this story because (a)it's skeevy as hell (b)it's lame (c)Amber and Daniel refuse to admit that they've done anything wrong. It's as frustrating as when they keep lying about things we know are true. Daniel IS a skeeve who is addicted to pornography and Amber IS a ho who send Daniel pictures of her boobs. We know this! It's as maddening as when Willow refused to admit that she set Hope's house on fire on Days.
And wasn't Adrienne Frantz's stint supposed to be brief? It's like she's been on the show forever and there's no end in sight. The sight of her overly bleached hair and overly made up face and the sound of her stupid baby voice is just--I can't. I just can't. I can't do it anymore. I give. Uncle! Uncle!
Today's WTF moment:
David: Absolutely nothing. Because it's not true. I've come to know pretty much everything there is to know about you, Nicole Reed Newman.
Nikki: What does that mean?
David: It means that I researched your life thoroughly when I worked for Jack. I was falling in love with you even back then, even when we were still adversaries.
No. I'm sorry. No. Nothing about that is remotely okay. And it doesn't help that Vincent Irrizarry is smarmy when he isn't even trying. Just no. Stop. Please. Make it go away.