As AMC continues to be so depressing that I've started staring longingly at lighthearted entertainment, like reruns of The Golden Girls or a copy of Jude the Obscure. In the face of all tragedy all the time, I often find my mind wandering and I ask myself questions...
- Why did Krystal, Tad and Adam never think to get a paternity test to determine who is actually Jenny's dad? All they have right now saying that the baby is Tad's is David's word, and David is a big fat life-ruining liar. Why did the writers never address that?
- Is Ava really supposed to be a model? Leven Rambin is a cute girl, but...seriously?
- How cool would it have been if the modeling agent/porn scam that Ava nearly got caught in before being saved by the sainted Babe included a cameo by Tyra Banks?! I mean, Nigel already made the trip to a soap, so it would have been entirely possible that Tyra and her hideous weavage could compassionately sit down and talk/imitate Oprah about the dangers of the modeling industry.
- Why is Ashlee Simpson?
The most pressing question came during Wednesday's episode, where two conversations vied for the "Biggest elephant in the corner" award.
(1)Cambias Family Ties
Many people yesterday noted the awkwardness of Zach's visit to Ethan's grave, and I have to agree. I understand that, you know, it was supposed to be sweet and the thought of an older brother being a guardian angel for his newborn brother is touching, but all I could think was "I need you to look after Ian for me. He's your little brother. His mother is your ex-girlfriend, actually. And incidentally, she slept with my brother ages ago, and my brother wound up raping her sister and fathering her niece. This is all before my father came back from the dead and tried to kill her to get back at me. Really, it's a shame you're all dead, because I think Thanksgiving dinners would be a riot"
(2) Babe and Her Boys
When Jamie, JR and Babe bonded over Jamie's decision to go be a do-gooder in Africa (which, really, does anyone care, ever, about Jamie anymore, especially if he's wearing a shirt?), they made minor references to the trauma of their pasts together, but it was so vague, like "All the hell we put each other through" and "We've hurt each other". That sound benign, like "Remember when I wrote that note about how much I hated you and I accidentally put it in YOUR locker instead of Jill's?" or "Remember when we went to the mall and you weren't invited", when in reality it was "Remember when I cheated on you with your brother the first day I came to town/remember when I ran away with your wife and told your son he was dead and had your son call me his father/tried to kill you? Good times"
I still don't know which is more awkward, but I do know for sure that (a)no matter how married Alexa Havins and Justin Bruening are, their onscreen chemistry is terrible (b)Alexa's contract is up soon and it might turn out that she is leaving the show, pleasepleaseplease. I know they will never get rid of Babe, but she might be easier to stomach if she wasn't played by someone so insanely smug.