Honestly, Does She Not Own a Mirror?
If you don't hear from me for a few days, it's because I'm going to camp out in front of the set of The Young and the Restless to convert Sharon Case to a new, fashionable era of hairdos.
If you hear on the news that someone with my description is wanted for questioning in a stalking/forced haircutting case...please provide me with an alibi. I thank you in advance.
I know I always complain about Sharon Case's hair. Almost as frequently as I moon over Peter Bergman. Because her hair is as awful as Peter Bergman is dreamy. I simply cannot say that enough: to borrow a phrase from the last time her hairstyle was popular, "There are way too many don'ts in that 'do". Actually, you know what, that's not fair to the 1990s--that hairstyle was not popular even in the decade that brought us Grunge and the Macarena.
From some angles, it appears to be your basic bob. I am a fan of the bob--two of my favorite celebrity haircuts are Jennifer Aniston's chin length bob and Reese Witherspoon's look in Sweet Home Alabama. Not to mention Megan Ward and Melody Thomas Scott! So I would fully support Sharon Case getting a bob.
...except she turns around and it's like three feet longer.
I...it's...like...what I am trying to ask is: is this a form of a mullet?
So you have Approaching Cute in the front and Laguna Beach Girl A in the back and then the sides are like...
Wannabe Crystal Gayle? Cult Member Who Wears Laura Ashley? And to not even have the common decency to brush it?
Way Harsh, Sharon.
Her hairdo is like a matryoshka doll, where every nested figure reveals another layer of ugliness.
(I'm not going to even BOTHER to ask why they dressed Sharon, a billionaire's wife and alleged model, in an oversized, shapeless, wide-sleeved (!) Oxford shirt with "pearls" bought in the costume section of AC Moore)
And setting aside the atrocities of the style itself (if that's at all possible), the quality of her hair doesn't seem to be...good. Like, I think some of her extensions might actually be flammable. That's dangerous. What if she catches on fire and the only person with her is Don Diamont to blankly tell her "Fire! You're on fire!" Except with his monotone and inability to move his face, she won't know how serious he is and the entire show will go up in flames.
I have several theories:
- Sharon Case is blind and really cannot tell that her hair is rapidly approaching "deformity" level
- Sharon Case has no friends to tell her that her hair is horrible
- Sharon Case has lots of enemies who tell her every chance they get that her hair is gorgeous
I don't know what the true story is, but I will not rest until she gets her hair done! This is my new mission in life. Forget world peace or paying off student loans, Sharon Case's hair is way more important!