Days of Our Lives Week in Review
You guys, I'm hanging in, but the recent awesomeness of Days is rapidly disappearing. What's going on? I thought the backstage changes were going to start kicking things into high gear and the show would realize its potential in time to spike good ratings and avoid cancellation. But . . . nothing much of anything is going on. Even the summer's biggest reveal is kind of happening with a whimper. I'm worried the show really is on its last legs. It's all very depressing. Not on par with, say, Darfur, or how badly the Baldwin brothers are aging, but depressing nonetheless.
Talk about depressing: Oh my god, they killed Benji!
I know he'd only been around for a little while this time, but I remember the character of Benji from when Steve and Kayla found him on their honeymoon (which I had a relative secretly tape while I was at horse camp). His murder makes sense for the story, and gave Stephen Nichols yet another opportunity to shine
but man, I need an uplifting story on this show, soon.
(I also need Stephen Nichols to cut his hair.)
Is the hair and makeup department just totally over the Colleen/Santo storyline? Because they aren't even trying anymore.
You can see the wig line and glue on her forehead! And those eyebrows. Those are scarier than that Irish cliff.
And I love that they finally realized the guy they cast as Colleen's
dad is about 20 years too young, so they just went to the local
Halloween store and got some spray-on gray.
It's as authentic as the accents!
Once Santo was revealed to be a narcissistic, adulterous,
child-bribing, lying ass, I officially crossed over to the dislike line
as far as the Santo/Colleen story is concerned. I had exercised self-restraint and hadn't read the Soap Opera Digest
cover story revealing the genesis of the DiMera/Brady feud, and I
assiduously avoided other spoilers because I really wanted to be
surprised at the reveal. (I have this admittedly ironic theory that
the internet, especially spoilers, is part of what is ruining soaps.) Now the reveal is here and . . . boo. That's it? And hey, more depression, this time courtesy of suicide. Woo!
I enjoyed the chemistry of Allison Sweeney and James Scott
enough to put aside any reservations about this storyline, but since
I'm now pissy about its apparent resolution, could someone please
explain something to me about dear old Mr. Brady?
He never saw fit to mention that his granddaughter looks exactly like his tragically dead sister, or that said granddaughter's one-time suitor and son of his family's worst enemy is a dead ringer for the father of that worst enemy? He never in 20 years had a "gee, maybe I ought to get over myself and tell my family why Stefano is kidnapping, brainwashing, demon-possessing, and otherwise stalking them" moment? And while I'm on the unbelievable plot points note, Sami marrying EJ will end the vendetta? What? Why? That makes no sense. I am kind of looking forward to the Marriage of Convenience That Becomes a Real Marriage, though. I assume that's the direction they're going in, and the soapy possibilities are dreamy. As is James Scott. Especially smirking James Scott. Or shirtless James Scott. Sorry, what was I saying?
Max was making progress, both follicularly and personality-wise, but now he's backsliding on both counts, lusting after his niece and sporting this look:
I could do a multi-slided PowerPoint presentation about everything that is wrong with that look from mid-chest up.
A cookie and a shout-out to the person who tells me where I know this girl from. [Thank you so much reader Dallas -- it's Jamie from Real World: San Diego. Your cookie is in the mail. Oh, and Free Brad!!!]
P.S. It's been on one day and already I hate this stupid sorority storyline.
I'm not going to lie, Roman buried alive in that coffin is FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT.
Like, Open Water-level disturbing. Since that's what they're going for, I guess I'll say "kudos, show." And then do a few more shots to calm down.
This week, in a shocking turn, Sami was distraught and in danger.
They are going to have to add anti-anxiety meds to the babies' milk because otherwise they are constantly going to be peeling those twins off the ceiling with everything they're going through as fetuses.
It's wrong that I busted out laughing when Sami "accidentally" shot Lucas in the leg, right?
What's next? Locked freezer trucks, rampaging forklifts, vengeful saunas, poisoned briefcases, exploding flowers . . . this trio is a tiny bit accident prone. If I were a more cynical person, I would say that they have to keep putting Lucas and Sami in increasingly dangerous/ridiculous situations to drum up drama because they've proved to have little chemistry as a long-term couple.
Sami to EJ: I'm saying I'll do it. I'll marry you.
Seriously, I am wildly optimistic about this marriage storyline. No, I don't know how that optimism got here. It's probably a residual effect of James Scott's charm, or Ali Sweeney's hair.
Jeremy: Man, if you were my father…
Nick: You’d have turned out better.
Funny, but it's also a reminder that THIS IS NOT MIKE HORTON'S SON.
And is Jeremy just going to be Kato Kaelin now? I'm grateful to be rid of the Touch the Sky ridiculousness, but at some point will they be giving this character a reason to exist? Hanging out with Nick won't help, since he's currently wrapped up in this stupid and pointless kids storyline. When will this team learn to write for the younger set? There's not a single interesting storyline on this show featuring characters under 30 right now.
I have high hopes for the behind-the-scenes changes, but my optimism is going to be short-lived if the new regime continues to bring back one of my most hated aspects of the old era: Flashbacks to crap that happened a day or two ago. It's insulting. I remember what just happened. I can follow multiple stories at once. I know what characters are talking about and can intuit the significance of what they're not talking about, since I have a basic understanding of human interaction. I, after all, am not a writer on General Hospital.
Get it together, Days! I don't have room for so much soap-based mediocrity in my life.
Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.