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« Days of Our Lives Week in Review, Sort Of | Main | Take Your Own Words to Heart »

September 09, 2007

General Hospital Week in Review, -ish

No official Week in Review this week, but I feel like that's okay, because I spewed about 17 weeks' worth of venom last week.  Oh, and earlier this week.  And Mallory already hit on the highlight of the week -- Georgie speaking the anti-mob truth -- which would have made this a great GH week if it weren't bookended by another damned mob war.  It really says all you need to know about the people who run this show that as they sat down to map out the next few months' worth of this quickly fading soap, the overriding theme they decided on was "more violence!"  They are seriously, truly, totally damaged.

But enough bad stuff; there were a few positive developments this week.  If "a few" equals "exactly and no more than three."

1.  CARLY WORE A BRA.  Or at least it appeared that way.  With a backless shirt.  I'm not kidding.  I didn't even know how to process it when I saw it.  I thought maybe that switchover to HDTV had happened early and I needed to get one of those translator thingies to see things properly.



Girl, I know!  I was totally puzzled too.

2. Lucky was shirtless.


I don't approve of Greg Vaughn's buzz cut, but he is genetically incapable of looking bad, so I'll let that pass.  Lucky may be dumber than a box of hair, and also kind of an asshole of late, but damn, he's hot.  And that's really, really important.

3.  Patrick was hotly sensitive. 


He's permanently lost the "hotly" qualifier in the Night Shift alternate reality, but this week he was hotly attentive and hotly participatory in the conversation he and Robin had about their relationship.  And Patrick used to be a race car driver?  How did I not remember this?  Regardless, mark this down as the first time I've found anything remotely associated with car racing to be sexy.  (If any of you knew me in high school and even thinks about bringing up Days of Thunder, please know I am not afraid to cut a bitch.)

But the rest of the week was mostly just the usual mafia BS.  There was a brief ray of hope that at least Jax would escape the mob orbit by breaking up with Carly:

Jax:  Do you see how we keep going around in circles here?  I mean this is . . . Okay, you know what?  You want to go there?
Carly: I want to go there.
Jax: Oh, you really want to go there.  Okay, let me explain this to you. You know why I had to sleep with Irina.  She could have killed one of us. 
Carly:  ::smirks:: [!!!  -Ed.]
Jax:  Now I didn't see a gun to your head when you slept with -
Carly: See, right there!  You are still mad at me because I slept with Sonny.  You really haven't forgiven me! [He shouldn't have.  -Ed.]
Jax: Well you're making it impossible!
Carly:  And you're making our marriage a contest!  Who messed up more?  [You did.  -Ed.] Who got hurt more?  [Jax did.  -Ed.] I don't want to live like this.
Jax: Well, guess what, Carly, neither do I.

...but then they got back together.  I hate this show. 

Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.


GV wicked hot----hell yeah!

JT on GH last week in that one episode---delicious, but he was all over Leyla later and Robin missed it! And not on NS (vomit)

Carly was magically boobiciously supported, but not by a bra....the gaffers got together and donated a roll of their duct tape! Since wardrobe refused to buy her lingerie. She is taped up and held together by the grey wonder of the world...DUCT TAPE! It works.

Please someone. . . HOW did Carly & Jax reconcile? I was reading here that Carly was less than understanding about Jax "cheating" on her (uh. . .?), that she was accusing him of this and that. . . and then I'm back to watching and I see they're pal-sy wal-sy. How the hell'd that happen? And Jax. . . no emotional fallout from his ordeal? Oh, brother. Why do I expect anything different?

I did have hope that Jax and Carly will finally break up. Before the marriage Jax was one of the very few characters on the show actually allowed any degree of moral complexity (God knows that the mobsters don't actually count); a guy that was generally well-meaning and even benevolent, but who was capable of some nasty amoral tricks when cornered or desperate...in other words, the sort of character soap opera watchers tune in for in the first place. Now all he ever does is 1) argue with Carly, or 2) act to help Carly or Jerry.

the rest of the show can rot....Lucky was shirtless and that's where my viewing stopped right there.

I really hate this show, too.

And yet we can't stop watching it. At least you're getting paid, but I seriously cannot fathom why I tune in. I'm hoping that with Luke returning soon we're going to get some awesomeness back...

True this is the show that brought back Robert Scorpio and turned him into a dead beat dad...

True this is the show that continues to shell out big bucks for Mumbly Joe... I mean Maurice Bernard and his supposedly super important character, but can't figure out how to bring back Genie Francis as Laura, who IS in fact a super important character...

True this is the show that has Carly comparing willingly having sex with her ex to Jax being raped....

Let's face it: even Luke coming back can't save this show. God it sucks. I just pray that they don't find some way to ruin Luke and Tracy, the way they've ruined great characters like Jax, Skye, Lucky, etc... Guza's even trying to ruin Patrick, who is hotly uninvolved with the mob.

I just hope Georgie continues to call the Mob Squad out. It's about time they gave us a reason to like her again.

I guess I'm going to stick it out, but I'm not going to like it.

The hell? Patrick used to be a fricken race car driver? For real? Ah Jesus, whatever. Sounds like Guza's borrowing from JERk's goody bag of character descriptions; Cocky, yet devilishly handsome and brilliant Neurosurgeon - has a history with the ladies and can't commit, but is capable of charming even the most headstrong woman into orgasmic submission...and oh yeah, used to be a race car driver.

And Greg Vaughan...Rowrrr! I may not watch the show that much, but GH can still entice me with it's cast of Hottest Men on Soaps [Who Aren't Blocks of Wood and/or Paired with Unwatchable Costars].

yeah that robin/patrick scene was good on tuesday.
too bad patrick went back to swooning over pink on friday's two out-of-place, randomly thrown-in to somehow get it to match up w/ NS, scenes.
but whatcha gonna do?

Georgie's calling it out was great in that one talk w/ Spinelli. too bad the next day she starts using Jason Morgan as her body guard/defense mechanism. how disappointing that these intelligent (in ways) innocents look to a brain-damaged murderer as role-model? great lesson for society in that.

Isn't it amazing what a little sensitivity can do for Patrick's hotness levels? Tuesday=super hot. Then when being with she who doesn't deserve a name on Friday....so not hot. Sigh.

Greg should be shirtless everyday. I agree on the buzz cut. I'm just hoping his hair grows quickly.

Georgie needs to continue to be on my screen making truthful comments about the mob and making Spinelli more likeable again.

Free Jax!

Another spot-on assessment. I agree that Patrick was deserving of the "hotly" qualifier on Tuesday's episode (Race Car Day II). That episode was wonderful and reminded me why I love this couple so much! But then, NSPatrick showed up on Friday for some vomit-inducing flirty banter with she-who-shall-remain-nameless and shot that all to hell. No hotly for you!

Without a doubt, the shining bright spot of last week was Georgie! (Four days?! When was the last time that happened?? 2005?). I've always had great affection for Georgie simply because she's Frisco, Felicia & Mac's kid, but now I'm head-over-heels in love with the girl! Her awesomeness knew NO boundaries!

* questioning why anyone would want to be like Jason
* pointing out the obvious that everyone else seems to ignore/excuse: "he kills people for Sonny!" (2x!)
* calling Jason's life "bleak"
* calling Jason's lifestyle "relentlessly negative & destructive"
* calling Jason brain-damaged (that just always makes me laugh) & implying he has the intellectual depth of a fruit fly
* encouraging Spinelli to think about the bigger picture and going back to school
* getting all "large with the butch" when Logan manhandled & threatened Maxie
* rendering Logan speechless with threats of her own (and I DO understand why she used Jason. Not because she thinks he's so wonderful, but because she knows that *Logan knows* that Jason wouldn't think twice about putting a bullet in his head) (Second best part of all that: Maxie standing back silently and enjoying the "show", with a mixture of surprise, pride & amusement)
* forcing Spinelli to drop the ridiculous nicknames and call her Georgie
* the generally incandescent glow on her face while talking to/listening to Spinelli during the very "crushy" scenes/exchanges. Letherman deserves an Emmy nomination just for THAT.

I agree, however, that the costumers need to be shot! As if the sleevless vest-top with the huge-ass flower wasn't atrocious enough, then they put her in that shirt-dress which bizarrely reminded me of something from Little House on The Prairie, with the plaid across the chest & shoulders.... I can't even describe it. Lindze Letherman has a smokin' figure; I don't understand why they insist on dressing her so unflatteringly!

Kirsten Storms was also had a few fairly awesome moments. The Logan/Maxie scenes in the alley were totally disturbing and vile, but SHE was great! Full-on Maxie Jones-bravado while standing toe-to-toe with Rage Boy, as he snarled in her face. My favorite line:
Logan (menacingly): I wonder what your Daddy would do if he found drugs in your room?
Maxie (awesomely unimpressed): Like I can't LIE my way out of that one!

The bemused expression on her face when Max & Milo materialized out of thin air, and practically lifted Logan of the ground as they dragged off to face Sonny, was priceless! Almost verging into Expression Hall of Fame territory. But in the end, you could see that she was scared of him (and rightly so!).

The rest of the show...oy.

My one and only question of this show is: where the fuck is Genie's contract?! Pip (who is as annoying as all get out), chemistry-less pink nurse (who couldn't act her way out of a paper bag) and probably Random Guy #3 can get contracts but they can't work something out with Genie?! Even better, they haven't even approached her?! For her, money is not an issue?! JFP is a lying liar who lies!!!

End of rant.

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