Love in the Afternoon
Is it just me, or has Y&R been seriously icky lately?
Like, I know that expecting LML & Co. to write a compelling romance is like holding out hope that I'm going to open my door tomorrow and find Christian Bale on the doorstep all, "I really do love you! Please accept this lifetime supply of Twizzlers as a symbol of my devotion", but I was a fool, thinking that surely there would be some good love stories to balance out the bad.
I repeat: I was a fool.
You know your show is in a sorry state when JT and Victoria are one of the least offensive couples on it. Yes, JT and Victoria and their anti-chemistry. These are the dire straits we're in! I used to hate scenes with the two of them, because they made no sense (Why would Victoria, defanged though she may be in the Amelia Heinle era, want to interact in any way with JT, who has all the wit and allure of a varsity soccer player?) and it seemed like an obvious way to get the two offscreen lovebirds in a relationship together, and I really hate when shows do that, but now I barely even have a reaction to them. I mean, besides yawning. But even yawning is better than overt hatred.
Speaking of overt hatred: Nikki and David. Why? And also, ew.
Melody Thomas Scott rules. She's gorgeous and she just seems awesome and I so badly wanted her to do something besides play parrot to Victor, and this year, Nikki really is coming into her own and doing her own thing and she's all independent woman, so throw your hands up at her. But why does her trip down infidelity boulevard have to include David? I still haven't forgotten that David cruelly attempted to gaslight Dru, even if the writers clearly have. And as much as I enjoyed David Hayward on AMC, I think that Vincent Irizarry is inherently sleazy. This might be because my first exposure to him was the Lifetime movie masterpiece Lying Eyes, where he played a complete and utter sketch. But I think he needs a certain kind of writing to not come across as vile and sleazy, and he's not getting that kind of writing here:
The first time I met you, you were drinking lemon tea and eating a muffin...All right, let's see. It was February 2nd, I was Newman for one of my first meetings. I wandered into the break room and there you were. Wearing that blue outfit, you know, the one that always makes me catch my breath.
It's just that when I walked into the room, you smiled at me. And it really stayed with me. So after every meeting, I would go back into the break room in the hopes that I would see you there. I would check the muffin basket, and if your favorite was gone, then I knew that you had been there already and I'd missed seeing you. And I would hope to come back earlier the next day.
Look, I love a good muffin as much as the next person (giving me a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin is the easiest way to my heart), but I'm not so down with the muffin as a symbol of love.
But in my personal experience... this particular kind of quiet time... doesn't end up being very quiet.
I had no real opinion of Colleen and Adrian back when Adrianne Leon was playing Colleen. They were, you know, there, and it was a nice callback to Traci's fling with a professor, and Adrianne Leon was just so pretty! But now Tammin Sursok is badly playing Colleen and it's just not working, and Adrian (Korbel. Geez, it must have been confusing for Adrienne Frantz and Adrianne Leon to be on the same show with a character named Adrian) seems all molest-y with her.
And their ballooning banter was gross: "Okay, Baby, what you have to do is you have to get your mouth just right so none of the air leaks out". I was all, "Why on earth is that middle school girl alluding to blowjobs with that grown up?" And then I got distracted by her MASSIVE HEAD and the fact that she kept drifting into and out of her Australian accent. What's the deal with that?
The upcoming Cane/Lily thing looks to be similarly bad. I know it seems like I have an issue with May/December romances, but that's so not even it, as evidenced by my adoration of Jack and Sharon and my firm belief that I'd totally date Peter Bergman, even though he's 30 years older than me. Adrian and Cane being older than Colleen and Lily isn't the issue at all, it's just that Colleen and Lily (in these incarnations)...um, suck. Seriously, they are supposed to be in college, and they are just dim, hysterical teenage twits. Oh, how I long for the days of Adrianne Leon and Davetta Sherwood.
I'd be pro-Cane and Heather's mole, though. That could be fun. Or fun-ish. Or not horrific. Which is comparatively good.