Be It Resolved . . .

For the first time in its history, the House of Serial Drama Representatives deems it necessary to pass a measure to commemorate a significant, blog-altering event.  Specifically, the following resolution serves as formal notice that "hotly" has left the building.

In the House of Serial Drama Representatives

Whereas, in the past he has demonstrated a wide range of behavior done hotly, including:

hotly angsty

hotly confused

hotly skeptical

hotly goofy

hotly frustrated

hotly sympathetic

hotly blindsided

hotly diagnostic

hotly baffled

hotly happy

hotly sad

and hotly in sync

Whereas, he in fact did everything so hotly that a permanent "hotly" modifier was deemed necessary and appropriate, and used almost constantly,

Whereas, however, his behavior has recently shifted in the exact opposite direction of hotly,

Whereas, he implied that his girlfriend needed a boob job,

Whereas, he appeared naked in a shower only once during a 13-week stint on the night shift,

Whereas, he inappropriately flirted with an incompetent and poorly-coiffed student nurse while still involved in a serious relationship with Dr. Robin Scorpio,

Whereas, he was irrationally pissy about Robin bonding with a baby born to an HIV-positive mother and made no effort to understand her motivations (some of which admittedly may have been of The Crazy),

Whereas, he continues to be friends with Carly,

Whereas, he used the phrases "biological clock" and "walking hormone" as insults during an argument with his girlfriend,

Whereas, depending on the universe in which you operate, he either immediately started sleeping with his coworker he'd been flirting with for weeks after breaking up with his girlfriend, or immediately started dating that coworker after he and his girlfriend broke up,

Whereas, he used unbearably cheesy lines and then had uber-awkward sex in his workplace,

Whereas, he has spent criminally little time shirtless of late,

Whereas, he blamed his girlfriend for their breakup by saying she was unavailable and excused his own flirtation with a coworker,

Whereas, he backslid to assholish, commitment-phobic behavior faster than Lindsay Lohan strikes up an inappropriate romantic relationship,

Whereas, he has apparently lost his ability to banter,

Whereas, he has reverted to proudly saying things like "If you're looking for uncomplicated, I'm your guy,"

Whereas, despite claiming that he's totally over his breakup with Robin, he continues to meddle in her life,

BE IT RESOLVED, therefore, that Dr. Patrick Drake's "hotly" modifier is permanently revoked.

BE IT ALSO RESOLVED, however, that Jason Thompson could still hit it anytime, especially on weekends and holidays.

Resolved this 18th day of October, 2007.

Most screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.

Comments

I mourn the Patrick that deserved the hotly modifier. Foolishly, I continue to hope that he will (or can) be rehabilitated.

I see the direct correlation between Patrick's assholishness and Robin's bizarre behavior. As the Patrick's asshole meter rises, so does the Robin's bizarro meter. These two are inextricably tied. If only they could get the knots untangled and focus on a story that makes some sense for these two potentially great characters! The always hot Thompson and always fabulous McCullough deserve better than what they are being given!

[KLD]

I for now do whole-heartedly agree that the hotly modifier needs to be revoked. It makes me most sad & frustrated.

I shall be praying to the soap goddesses that the hotly be returned in the near future.

[Lori]

Oh, how I loved the days when Patrick Drake did everything hotly. I will be counting the days until it is returned. Now Jason Thompson will NEVER lose that hotly modifier in my book. That man's presence screams HOTLY to me.

[V]

>>Point taken, V -- that was totally an error on my part. I deleted "romantic." I could have inserted "baby-rabies-ridden" in its place, but opted not to.<<

Thank you Becca. The "baby-rabies-ridden" might have been a sweet addition, but I am sure you had your reasons.

I want to add that I love all those pics you placed of ex-hotly.

[Michaela]

:::sob::: Farewell, hotly. You will be missed.

[Sarah]

Can you we please restore the hotly modifer now? I think we have been without it for far too long and he so deserves it back.

[Sarah]

Can you we please restore the hotly modifer now? I think we have been without it for far too long and he so deserves it back.