Dear Robin: Girl, Please Chill...and Also Fix Your Hair
You know I adore you, but I have some questions that I need you to seriously consider.
- As a physician, why are you not able to diagnose your severe case of baby rabies and realize that you're crazily overreacting to breaking up with the hotness that is Patrick?
- When did your biological clock start "tickin' like THIS" a la Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny? Do you not realize that you are young and only decided like seven minutes ago that you wanted a baby?
- Why will you not look into a semi-permanent rinse?
- As a woman with a busy career who is also HIV positive, with little immediate family support (in what hemisphere are your invisible parents currently dangling from helicopters and/or carrying out an assassination plot?), does being a single parent by choice really seem like the best plan at this juncture in your life?
- Will you please lose the number of the stylist who cut your bangs?
- Did you seriously make a list of all the guys in town whose sperm you might request? And did that list of men who are "smart, funny, and kind" not include, momentarily, Sonny (!), and, permanently, Jason (!!) and Spinelli (!!!)?!?! I can't even get into this any further right now, so let me just sum up my overall reaction as being a tangy mix of "bitch, please"
and OMG, WTF?!
- And finally, most importantly . . . For the love of all that is good and holy, WHY WOULD YOU CONSIDER PASSING ALONG THIS HAIR TO AN INNOCENT CHILD?
Please get back to me as soon as possible. I want to continue to root for you but you are really making that difficult. Responses to these pressing questions might help. Also, if you could enclose assorted photos of Patrick with your answers, that would be great.
P.S. I am not crazy and understand you are fictional. Therefore, would you please pass along all these questions to the GH writing staff? Except the ones about hair -- those go to Kimberly McCullough. You're a gem, thanks!