So, a while back in one of my Week in Review posts, I closed with a quick recap of some seriously disturbing scenes involving Marlena and John making out on a beach. (Yes, I know that last prepositional phrase is all that differentiates that sentence from a dozen others I could have written.) To sum up: "Oooh, mama!"
Well, this horrible snippet is now on YouTube, so for those who missed it, or those whose PTSD doesn't prevent them from re-watching it, here you go. I can't help it, every time I watch it I simultaneously guffaw and shudder. It's almost exactly equal parts of each. A guffudder, if you will. "Oooh mama!" Guffudder. Shoulder molesting. Guffudder. Moaning! Guffudder. Weird diaper-changing "sexy" positioning by John. Guffudder.
It's like everything that's wrong with modern-day John and Marlena condensed into two and half minutes. And lest I be accused of just hating a popular couple, I must say that I used to like these two. Really. I liked them together as Marlena and Roman (which was when I first started watching Days), I liked him with Diana and Isabella, I liked her with OriginalRoman, and I liked them together as Marlena and John: Adulterers But Not Really Because Dude, They Used to Think He WAS Her Husband That She's Now "Cheating" On. They were interesting, and not guffudder-inducing. Sure, they produced Belle, who is arguably the most boring character in Salem, but her half-sister once tried to sell her on the black market and she was conceived on a private jet, so there are at least interesting aspects to her backstory.
But as rumors swirl about Drake Hogestyn leaving the show, the last few years of John and Marlena weirdness means my reaction is one of shoulder-shrugging and "why only him?" rather than bemoaning (no pun intended!) the possible loss of a longtime veteran. I really resent whatever it is -- crappy scripts, poor performances, or some combination thereof -- that is depriving me of an opportunity to be righteously indignant and judgmental of soap execs. I live for that stuff.