Richie, Richie, He's Our Man, If He Can't Do It, No One Can
I heart Richie Novak. I think he was specifically created to be everything I could possibly ask for in a fictional ex-convict living in a Pennsylvania soap opera town. He's only been in my life for a few weeks, but I adore him. Do you think it's too soon to have my stationery printed with "Mrs. Mallory Novak♥"? Bonus: if it doesn't work out, I could always move onto the nonfictional BJ Novak and not have to change monograms or anything. Score!
I know that Richie is dastardly, and has killed at least one person and probably tortured small animals as a child, but damn it, he's totally the best person in Pine Valley right now and will likely retain that title until (a)Zach and Kendall realize that half-assing revenge schemes is not the way to go or (b)Adam snaps and loses it the next time Krystal chastises him for attempting to sell Jenny on the black market and tells her that he doesn't get why baby thievery was okay when she was part of the plot to let Babe kidnap Little Adam.
What other person would know exactly when they were being watched and offer a sly grin at the person watching them?
That's so Richie!
And his hatred of Ryan is endlessly hilarious. He snidely alluded to the Pine Valley mantra that Ryan Knows All
Well, how could I argue with Ryan? If he says so, I guess I'm not.
and also manages to get in a dig about Ryan's own dubious past, which no one is ever allowed to bring up, because Ryan is a god among men
I mean, how many cons did you pull in your day, big boy?
If only we could do something about his dreadful thing for Babe. On the one hand, it's kind of hilarious that Babe's latest suitor is balls to the wall insane and evil (I still have seen no evidence of this, but if Ryan says so, it's obviously the truth, so I might as well start referring to him as such now) and since he's the latest in a long line of unstable people courting Arabella, it makes me a firm believer in like attracting like. But on the other hand, he's way too cool to stick with Babe! He needs someone far more awesome, like...I don't know, I think he's too cool for most of the women in town. Except Myrtle, natch.
Is there anything else going on in Pine Valley lately? Because other than the above, ALL I hear is the word "ovaries", and it's starting to make me go crazier than Greenlee dreaming of having Ryan's baby.