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« Eeee! Exclamation Point! Exclamation Point! | Main | Yay or Nay? »

November 27, 2007

Oh GH . . . I Still Have So Many Questions

So a couple of weeks ago I had all the wrong questions.  Most of them still haven't been answered, but I have more.  The first of which is, of course, how the hell can I be confused by a show that often appears to be written by junior high-schoolers?  But moving on . . .

Can we all agree that there are a few things that glass-house-dwelling Sam should not lecture people about?  And that that those things include but are not limited to:  lying, lying about lying, a woman doing stupid shit to chase after Jason, and lying?

Sam:  What the hell is wrong with you?  Your best friend is lying there dead, and you leave Nikolas with her body so you can go after Jason?
Liz:  Does Lucky know?
Sam:  I doubt it.  He went after Zacchara.
Liz:  Alone?
Sam:  Oh, come on.  Do not pretend that you care.  Thanks to you and your lies, Lucky has nothing left to lose.

Sam really needs to develop a serious drinking problem, because Kelly Monaco would rock that, and Drunk Sam is about the only Sam I can handle these days.

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Why is Jason Thompson so freaking gorgeous and when will the writers let us restore Patrick's "hotly" modifier?


Patrickleylahospitalroom

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Why does Epiphany (aka Mallory's nemesis) yell at doctors?  In what hospital would any nurse get away with telling doctors what to do, particularly as it relates to, you know, being a doctor?!

Dr. Julian:  [asks understandable question about Ric Lansing having become a kabob on a sword at the crazy castle]
Epiphany:  With all due respect, doctor, we have at least a dozen patients waiting to be seen down in the ER.  The DA is not one of them, the last time I checked.  Until he's admitted I suggest that we focus on the patients we do have.

My god, woman, what's it like when you don't give a doctor his due respect?!

Oh, and after this

Epiphany: Hey, I know you're scared.  But yelling at the people trying to help is the quickest way to get a seat downstairs.
Tracy:  If anything happens to my husband, I will have your medical license revoked.
Epiphany: People died here tonight.  If you don't want your husband to be one of them, I suggest that you shut your mouth long enough for us to do our jobs.

...why didn't Tracy kick some ass?  In what world is that acceptable bedside manner?

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Is it possible that even an infant wants Steve Burton to get that greasy hair out of his face, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY (by which, since this is GH, of course I mean "the mafia")?

Jasonjakehair

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No seriously, why was there a bomb on the random boat that Jason "borrowed" like four weeks/3 GH days ago?

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Is it confusing to anyone else that the kid who plays Michael's voice is changing but they still want us to think he's like 10?

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If I found neither Monica's nor Edward's reactions to Emily's death especially moving, does that make me a bad soap viewer?

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Why won't all the Night Shift refugees except Dr. Leo (because if he cuts his hair he's cute) shut UP?  Preferably after they go far, far away?  Particularly this one?

Leylahospitalbed

Does she need the oxygen because she hyperventilated over pearls again?

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Why the fuck is SoapNet doing a marathon of some stupid sitcom about pregnant women?  Why do the idiots who run ABC Daytime/SoapNet not understand a single thing about soap operas?  [Okay, that wasn't really GH related, but seriously, I have thrown numerous shoes at my TV during those commercials on SoapNet.  Between those and the October Road marathon, is it not totally clear that that network has gone completely off the rails?]

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Why is Kate still with Sonny after he basically told her he'd sacrifice her in order to continue his super-awesome life as a mobster?

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How worried should I be about the fact that Bob Guza says he's going to be writing a super-romantic storyline for Emily [note: who is dead] and Nikolas well into 2008?

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Who hired the mercenaries who attacked Jax, Jerry, Carly, and Sam on the island?

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Does Steve Burton kick puppies in front of the little boy who plays Cameron in their off-time, or is that kid just the best actor on the show?

Luckycameron

Luckycameron2

Luckycameron3

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What does Laura Wright do to have such marvelously perfect hair?

Carlygreathair

And why can she not work similar magic on the writing of her harpy bitch of a character?

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Will Ned ever get to show up for something other than funerals? Speaking of which, how many Quartermaines does this writing team get to kill off before someone realizes they are creatively bankrupt hacks?

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Doesn't the Hippocratic Oath say something about doing no harm?

Monicabobbiebadplasticsurgery

Screencaps (the non-crappy ones) courtesy of Clarissa.

Comments

Dude! Why was this one not called "Dude...I still have so many questions?"?!?!

I want Patrick's "hotly" qualifier back so badly.

And you know it's bad when honestly that one screencap of the useless one sucking up oxygen that could save other people makes me want to hurl my computer out my window.

Mallory--we have the same nemesis. If you should ever need help taking the bitchy nurse down, I am so there.

Cameron is the best actor, or at least the smartest one, on this "soap." He should win an Emmy.

Not to pile on poor LC--who must be sensing, I'm NEXT!--but isn't she also wearing a wig? That hair looks so fake, making her final transformation into a bad waxworks. *shudder*

DUDE DUDE DUDE!!!!!!!

The kid who plays Cam is a genius and out acts the whole damn cast!

The "love story" for Dead Em and Nik Guza is referring to is ofcourse another one of his patheitic movie rip offs. GHOST. Picture it.....Nik and Em are hot to feel their passion in the flesh even though she is dead. Enter wisecracking Epiphany! Emily invdes the rotund nurse's corpial form to bang Nik! TC and SE are going to have sex scenes! Buckle up, drink up, and get a bucket ready!!!!!!! Epiphany is no Whoopi Goldberg.

Ric Kabob!!!!! I love it!!!!!

LW has perfect hair, but it does not improve her screeching or Carly.

I LOVED Monica's reaction to both Jason and Sonny. She is right. Even Sonny admitted that to Kate.....Kate has now lost all her brain cells. Sonny tells her she will die for him and he will just keep on being a mobster and find a new moll, and she stays? WTF?

And hormonal voice cracking creepy Michael. His blood lust is Zacharra like. By all means PC keep giving the mobsters kids to raise, freaking brainiacs.

Alexis and Ric Kabob are out of GH, but poor Leyla is still recuperating? I wish she'd choke on her pearls or her tongue, whatever.

I adore drunk Sam and hope she comes back really soon. If not drunk, she just makes me cringe. Maybe she and high Lucky can have more hot if not sloppy doped up sex!?!?!?!

And the best is Baby Jake. Like his half brother he too knows the misery and horror that Jason has become.

Jake to Jason-"You can't be my Daddy Dude! Your hair is repulsive. I want Lucky, he's cool and looks good. You take Mama Liz and her bad bleach over hightlighted hair job away too please. Maybe after a long spa rehab you two can visit me and Cam. Until then, leave me with Lucky."

Yes, Lisa, I think LC is wearing a wig, too. She looked comical coming into Emily's funeral service with her obvious bad wig, big ass sunglasses and way too botoxed, stretched out face. It was just bizarre. Please, medical community, I beg of you all, take a stand, do no more work on this woman.

Why didn't Tracy come right back at Epiphany's "people have died here tonight" pushiness with "Yes, I know, one of them was my niece, and I'm just scared to death my husband could be another one since he's had two heart attacks here tonight, and we've all been through hell while a maniac and a bunch of gunmen stalked the island. So how was your night? Did you get a chance to work on your bedside manner?"

"Why didn't Tracy come right back at Epiphany's "people have died here tonight" pushiness with "Yes, I know, one of them was my niece, and I'm just scared to death my husband could be another one since he's had two heart attacks here tonight, and we've all been through hell while a maniac and a bunch of gunmen stalked the island. So how was your night? Did you get a chance to work on your bedside manner?"

-----
Sarah, you're a genius!

Thank you for commenting on the train wreck that is LC's plastic surgery. I was thinking it and feeling bad, but now that you've said it first . . .

I can't help but notice how everyone is commenting on how well she's shown Monica's grief. Ummm, no she didn't, her face doesn't move. It's scary!! And when she was talking to Bobbi, I couldn't watch because was afraid JZ's lips were going to come right off the screen!!

I love to see the vets onscreen (especially when Q related) but they should look like vets!! I think the JZ/LC scene is worthy of a Cameron "bitch, please" as long as he doesn't scamper from the room yelling for his mommy!!

And just a thought - perhaps the Q's could hire Jason/Sonny to take care of Guza??

Ooops - just noticed another Sarah!! Sorry!!

I too agree that LC had bad plastic surgery. At times it looks like Jackie Zeman also had bad plastic surgery! Also, everyone with the large sunglasses made the funeral seem comical. I don't think Nicholas seeming Emily is a rip-off of Ghost. It is more like Beetlejuice! I still have a problem with the storylines on this show and lack of continuity, not just for years past, but for much more recent history. An example, Dillon being upset that Georgie didn't keep in touch with him after he left town. At the time he left town, wasn't he lusting after Lulu? Why should Georgie keep in touch with him?! I know that soap stories have always been "a bit over the top" and a stretch of reality. However, in a time when many people's lives are so hectic and they take the time out their busy day to indulge in a "guilty pleasure" like soaps, can't we expect it to be a good story! Back in the 80's Gloria Monty turned General Hospital around and made it a cutting edge, exciting soap opera. Now it is just a disappointment. I am sorry for the long post! Thank you for taking the time to read it!

This arrow hit the bull's eye dead center: "Doesn't the Hippocratic Oath say something about doing no harm?"

you hypocrites and bitch's and stupid slut's need to shut the hell up and leave jason and elizabeth and stop dissing them because you don't like together or just don't like them so mind your business and shut up and leave them alone.as for lucky that good for nothing is not the father of either one of those kids so shut up. I know lucky may have some legal rights to jake because liz pretend that lucky is the father but no one knows if liz let lucky sign jake birth certificate even if he did and liz and lucky went to court thats when lucky lose his right to jake because the judge will now know that jake is jason son and as for cameron lucky as no rights to him because lucky never think about adopeting cameron so lucky have no claim to cameron.as for sam goes the stupid bitch is the bigest liar on the show who is still lying to lucky and also sam is the bigest hypocrite unearth like lucky.

now stop bashing liz and jason and get a life you pathetic fool's.

Don't know how I can follow those last two posts, but I did have a thought about the dead Emily storyline. A while ago there was a movie called Truly, Madly, Deeply starring Juliet Stevenson and Alan Rickman. Stevenson's boyfriend (Rickman) has died and she is absolutely devastated. But one day he just comes back all corporeal and everything. But he can't leave the house. At first she's thrilled, but after a while she gets tied of only dealing with the dead and decides to start dating again, with a real live boy, and her old true love leaves for good. Perhaps GH is working on something along those lines.

if you hate the show so much, why do you watch it?

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