Oh GH . . . I Still Have So Many Questions
So a couple of weeks ago I had all the wrong questions. Most of them still haven't been answered, but I have more. The first of which is, of course, how the hell can I be confused by a show that often appears to be written by junior high-schoolers? But moving on . . .
Can we all agree that there are a few things that
glass-house-dwelling Sam should not lecture people about? And that
that those things include but are not limited to: lying, lying about
lying, a woman doing stupid shit to chase after Jason, and lying?
Sam: What the hell is wrong with you? Your best friend is lying there dead, and you leave Nikolas with her body so you can go after Jason?
Liz: Does Lucky know?
Sam: I doubt it. He went after Zacchara.
Sam: Oh, come on. Do not pretend that you care. Thanks to you and your lies, Lucky has nothing left to lose.
Sam really needs to develop a serious drinking problem, because Kelly Monaco would rock that, and Drunk Sam is about the only Sam I can handle these days.
Why is Jason Thompson so freaking gorgeous and when will the writers let us restore Patrick's "hotly" modifier?
Why does Epiphany (aka Mallory's nemesis) yell at doctors? In what hospital would any nurse get away with telling doctors what to do, particularly as it relates to, you know, being a doctor?!
Dr. Julian: [asks understandable question about Ric Lansing having become a kabob on a sword at the crazy castle]
Epiphany: With all due respect, doctor, we have at least a dozen patients waiting to be seen down in the ER. The DA is not one of them, the last time I checked. Until he's admitted I suggest that we focus on the patients we do have.
My god, woman, what's it like when you don't give a doctor his due respect?!
Oh, and after this
Epiphany: Hey, I know you're scared. But yelling at the people trying to help is the quickest way to get a seat downstairs.
Tracy: If anything happens to my husband, I will have your medical license revoked.
Epiphany: People died here tonight. If you don't want your husband to be one of them, I suggest that you shut your mouth long enough for us to do our jobs.
...why didn't Tracy kick some ass? In what world is that acceptable bedside manner?
Is it possible that even an infant wants Steve Burton to get that greasy hair out of his face, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY (by which, since this is GH, of course I mean "the mafia")?
No seriously, why was there a bomb on the random boat that Jason "borrowed" like four weeks/3 GH days ago?
Is it confusing to anyone else that the kid who plays Michael's voice is changing but they still want us to think he's like 10?
If I found neither Monica's nor Edward's reactions to Emily's death especially moving, does that make me a bad soap viewer?
Why won't all the Night Shift refugees except Dr. Leo (because if he cuts his hair he's cute) shut UP? Preferably after they go far, far away? Particularly this one?
Does she need the oxygen because she hyperventilated over pearls again?
Why the fuck is SoapNet doing a marathon of some stupid sitcom about
pregnant women? Why do the idiots who run ABC Daytime/SoapNet not
understand a single thing about soap operas? [Okay, that wasn't really
GH related, but seriously, I have thrown numerous shoes at my TV during
those commercials on SoapNet. Between those and the October
Road marathon, is it not totally clear that that network has gone completely off the rails?]
Why is Kate still with Sonny after he basically told her he'd sacrifice her in order to continue his super-awesome life as a mobster?
How worried should I be about the fact that Bob Guza says he's going to be writing a super-romantic storyline for Emily [note: who is dead] and Nikolas well into 2008?
Who hired the mercenaries who attacked Jax, Jerry, Carly, and Sam on the island?
Does Steve Burton kick puppies in front of the little boy who plays Cameron in their off-time, or is that kid just the best actor on the show?
What does Laura Wright do to have such marvelously perfect hair?
And why can she not work similar magic on the writing of her harpy bitch of a character?
Will Ned ever get to show up for something other than funerals? Speaking of which, how many Quartermaines does this writing team get to kill off before someone realizes they are creatively bankrupt hacks?
Doesn't the Hippocratic Oath say something about doing no harm?
Screencaps (the non-crappy ones) courtesy of Clarissa.