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« The Scene So Terrible It Doesn't Deserve a Clever Title | Main | General Hospital Week in Review »

December 07, 2007

Brought To You By C-SPAN

Months ago, I came to the conclusion that The Young and the Restless was being sponsored by The History Channel and PBS, as their desire to discuss history and politics seemed to supersede their desire to be, like, entertaining. In an effort to stay relevant, C-SPAN has thrown its hat into the ring and hopes that Y&R could be the ticket back to hipness.

Honestly, it's the only theory I have to explain why we're being treated to in-depth scenes about a Senate ethics committee. I mean, no one can think that's actually entertaining, right? It's so boring that it's making me skip scenes with Peter Bergman in them. !!! When, in documented history, has that ever happened? It's as rare as Gloria passing up a Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale on Wet 'N Wild eyeliner.

I don't watch soap operas to get a lesson in government and economics. I know that I'm coming across as all "Learning? Boo!" but that could not be further from the truth. I'm actually the Martin Prince, "Pick me, teacher, I'm ever so smart!" kind of person. So if something is boring ME so much that it's actually mind-numbing, that's a whole new level of boring.

Plus, it's not like the show's other stories are a rip-roaring good time*, either. This week:

  • Victoria remained in a coma
  • We unearthed the dramatic secret of JT and Brad's blood types
  • Ghost John Abbott continued to suck. Y'know, if the Ghost Invasion of 2007 has taught me anything, aside from the fact that there is no idea too trite or poorly conceived for some writers to go for, it's that the ghost world is far more diverse than I had originally thought. Ghosts aren't just shapeless white things who fly around aimlessly. Who knew? Alan Quartermaine transformed into a tracksuit clad wiseacre. Emily Quartermaine seems to be dimmer in death than she was in life (and since she dated Sonny, that's saying something). Even Bradford Meade took death in stride, haunting Betty Suarez in a totally chill way. But what does Y&R get? A buttinski! He nags Jack so much that I am becoming less and less sympathetic to him over the whole "Jack got John to change his will" brouhaha. He's like an overbearing sitcom mother.
  • Gloria still says things about Jack being morally corrupt and evil and criminal and, to date, the world has not imploded due to her sheer hypocrisy
  • Adrian continues to exist

I know that Y&R used to move at a glacier pace, with, like, week-long closeups of people's faces, but, I don't know, I think I'd prefer slow paced, quality storytelling, rather than rushed, terribly bland plots.

*I am the type of person who unironically says things like "rip-roaring good time". I'm obviously an 80 year old in a 24 year old's body and yet I am still bored by this show. Bad sign, CBS, bad sign!

Comments

Well, they had this weird line in today's GH where Alan denied he was a ghost. I can't remember if it contradicts anything Ghost-Alan has said before, but maybe one of the writers reads this blog and realized that, hey, their stories are extremely repetitive!

That, of course, assumes they'd care.

See, this is why I'm not eating lunch a half hour later than I used to. I can no longer stomach an hour of this snoozefest.

Besides, now I get the camptasticularness (camptasticulousity? it's campy) of the Bold and the Beautiful. True, I have to deal with the nightmare that is Hunter Tylo's plastic surgery, though she hasn't been on much lately for reasons that no decent person can actually be happy about. It appears they're getting ready to put her in a custody fight over her newborn with her arch enemy/egg donor. A sick, sick part of me is watching with baited breath wondering, "Are they really going to make her deal with losing a son on screen too? Really?"

Plus Betty White shows up every couple of months, proving that she will do anything for a paycheck... and we get Kevin's mom from the Wonder Years acting a hot mess as Stephanie's suddenly insane sister... which kinda sounds like an SNL skit.

I also get to watch a show with characters named Thorne and Ridge! They have a sister named Felicia, and to my knowledge no one has ever established why the boys have such... original names. Well it is Los Angeles, and there is an adult named Stephen who willingly changed his name to Storm. It's also fun to watch the characters pretend that it's always warm all year round. It's freakin' freezing right now. Plus we have Ashley, Grace, and Victoria, though Ashley's the only one who's the same character.

Wow. I have nothing to say about Y&R. Not one thing.

Oh, isn't it about time they did everything in their power to bring Victoria Rowell back?

I thought the senate scenes were the most entertaining scenes this week. Gloria and Jack at each other's throats is a hoot. The one thing that bugged me though is Sharon, she couldn't be more unsupportive and manipulative to Jack if she tried.

I love the way John continues to go for those tanning sessions, despite the fact he's dead. Makes me think he might really be in Hell.

I honestly don't mind "mundane" stuff on soaps. I'm weird that way...hell, that's why I fell in love with this show. But it helps if it's counterbalanced to some degree and/or just plain interesting...and the addition of the Teflon Doña in this case doesn't help it.

ouch! that adrian comment hurts! you had me until then. i really must disagree with you regarding adrian. he's not boring, he's just written that way.

I hadn't watched Y&R in a few months and decided to try to catch an episode online. I watched fifteen minutes of said episode and realized I had the power of the red x in the right hand corner and clicked the hell out.

Nothing had changed, nothing has changed in months. And dear Lord, they made Jack boring, my beloved Jack, who I loved in a "it's kind of icky I love you so much, you're old enough to be my dad" kind of way.

Additionally, I'd like to know if I am supposed to be invested in either Cane/Heather or Cane/Lily - because really, they make Cane/Amber look like the next Luke and Laura.

Aaah. I remember when Y&R used to take two weeks to go through one day. I used to think those were the longest days. Or the long close ups. Or the sweeping, epic-like music under each scene. Or when Nikki/Ashley would change their clothes/hairstyle at least 3-4 times a "day".

But seriously, I hope this show gets back on track really soon. I wanna like it and watch it daily again.
fs

"Or when Nikki/Ashley would change their clothes/hairstyle at least 3-4 times a "day". "

Lol, you noticed that too, huh?

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