Brought To You By C-SPAN
Months ago, I came to the conclusion that The Young and the Restless was being sponsored by The History Channel and PBS, as their desire to discuss history and politics seemed to supersede their desire to be, like, entertaining. In an effort to stay relevant, C-SPAN has thrown its hat into the ring and hopes that Y&R could be the ticket back to hipness.
Honestly, it's the only theory I have to explain why we're being treated to in-depth scenes about a Senate ethics committee. I mean, no one can think that's actually entertaining, right? It's so boring that it's making me skip scenes with Peter Bergman in them. !!! When, in documented history, has that ever happened? It's as rare as Gloria passing up a Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale on Wet 'N Wild eyeliner.
I don't watch soap operas to get a lesson in government and economics. I know that I'm coming across as all "Learning? Boo!" but that could not be further from the truth. I'm actually the Martin Prince, "Pick me, teacher, I'm ever so smart!" kind of person. So if something is boring ME so much that it's actually mind-numbing, that's a whole new level of boring.
Plus, it's not like the show's other stories are a rip-roaring good time*, either. This week:
- Victoria remained in a coma
- We unearthed the dramatic secret of JT and Brad's blood types
- Ghost John Abbott continued to suck. Y'know, if the Ghost Invasion of 2007 has taught me anything, aside from the fact that there is no idea too trite or poorly conceived for some writers to go for, it's that the ghost world is far more diverse than I had originally thought. Ghosts aren't just shapeless white things who fly around aimlessly. Who knew? Alan Quartermaine transformed into a tracksuit clad wiseacre. Emily Quartermaine seems to be dimmer in death than she was in life (and since she dated Sonny, that's saying something). Even Bradford Meade took death in stride, haunting Betty Suarez in a totally chill way. But what does Y&R get? A buttinski! He nags Jack so much that I am becoming less and less sympathetic to him over the whole "Jack got John to change his will" brouhaha. He's like an overbearing sitcom mother.
- Gloria still says things about Jack being morally corrupt and evil and criminal and, to date, the world has not imploded due to her sheer hypocrisy
- Adrian continues to exist
I know that Y&R used to move at a glacier pace, with, like, week-long closeups of people's faces, but, I don't know, I think I'd prefer slow paced, quality storytelling, rather than rushed, terribly bland plots.
*I am the type of person who unironically says things like "rip-roaring good time". I'm obviously an 80 year old in a 24 year old's body and yet I am still bored by this show. Bad sign, CBS, bad sign!