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« What The What? | Main | Why I Am Not A Network Executive »

December 01, 2007

General Hospital Week in Review

I think most of this week's GH didn't suck, you guys.  That's the nicest thing I've been able to say about this show in a while.  I think it helps that the characters weren't spending a fifth week on Halloween night.  That stupid, redundant, plot-hole-ridden sweeps event being over would have been cause enough for celebration, but then there was a stellar episode, some decent ones following it, and a downright eeee!-worthy moment to cap off the week.  But for you, I tried really hard to be hypercritical and pick even the good shows apart.  I'm really giving of my time in that way.

Lizeulogy

Elizabeth's eulogy for her best friend Emily was mostly lovely, and I especially liked the several nods to history, but a couple of parts confused me.

Liz: Epiphany, Emily was especially fond of you. . . . She was always so appreciative of your sage advice, and your belief in her future as a doctor.

Epiphany garnered a mention?  Really?

Sometimes I think everything nonsensical associated with Epiphany is just Bob Guza trying to exact revenge on Mallory.

Liz:  There is someone else I would like to mention:  Jason.  He owned a unique place in Emily's heart.  A place reserved only for him.  He wasn't just her brother, he was her hero. Jason couldn't be here today, but I couldn't talk about Emily and not say his name.

Oh for god's sake.  Under this writing team, nobody can talk about laundry and not say Jason's name.  Or Chinese food.  Or algebra.

But it was impressive that Jason dragged himself to the event anyway, what with Monica -- having a banner You Go Girl week -- telling him he couldn't

Monica:  You are the only thing I have left and I don't want you.  Get out!  And don't you dare think about coming to her funeral.  Don't you dare show your face around here.  Get out!  You are not my son!

and a little phobia he has

Jason: I don't like funerals.

Ha! Oh, I hope that was intentional comedy.  The poor widdle hitman doesn't like funerals.  It is horrible when someone robs you of a loved one for no reason, leaving the survivors absolutely devastated, isn't it? 

Who's the hypocrite?  Who is?  You are!  You are!

But thus ends my Jason anger for the week, dear readers.  Because effing Steve Burton and Becky Herbst have so much effing chemistry and are so effing good-looking (excluding his hair, of course) that I thought Jason and Liz were totally effing hot on Thursday's show and I find myself starting to be okay with Elisabeth sleeping with an effing hitman.

Lizjasonhookup

Lizjasonhookup3

Lizjasonhookup4

Eff.

BTW, I love Liz's gorgeous bedroom, complete with fireplace (and a fire already going!). 

Lizjasonhookup2

Getting divorced and losing a second income has been really good for her standard of living.  But anyway, back to Jason being appealing. (Don't bother hating me for writing sentences like that, I hate myself enough for all of us.)

Jasonjakecute

Jasonlizplaypen

Jason: He's got my hands.

Aawwww.  Goddammit.  The effing couple-y chemistry and the effing cute baby are getting to me.  And this is even before the new haircut shows up on screen!  I think I might really be in trouble this time.  I have to go back to the mantra Mallory is always chanting:  He kills human beings for profit.  He kills human beings for profit.  He kills human beings for profit.

I'm not sure it's working!  I'm pretty sure this is all James Scott's fault.  I've lost all perspective on soap villains.

Divider

Just so you don't think I've totally lost my mind and perspective, I hate this "romantic" storyline between Nikolas and Emily [note: who is dead].

Nikolas:  Maybe they should find a spot for me right next to Anthony Zacchara, because this is insane.  You're not . . . you're not here.  The only reason I can see you is because I want to.  Emily, I feel asleep last night holding you.
Emily [note: who is dead]:  Yeah.  And it was wonderful.
Nikolas:  This morning, you were gone.
Emily [note: who is dead]:  I'm here now.
Nikolas:  When I woke up, and you weren't there, I told myself that I snapped at the funeral, and imagined all this.  But you're here.  You changed your clothes, your hair.  Just like it was a normal day.  How is this possible?
Emily [note: who is dead]:  I don't know.  Nikolas, I'm not even sure that I want to know.  The other thing that matters is how perfectly natural and normal it feels to be here with you.  I know the newspaper says I'm dead, but I love you as much as I always have.

I'm still laughing over the ludicrousness of "I know the newspaper says I'm dead."  I swear, I would never have predicted that GH would go all Passions and do a ghost storyline, and now we get two in less than a year, father and daughter no less, and members of a core family to boot.  It's like the writers are trying to get fired. 

Maybe if the performances were amazing, maybe if there appeared to be a larger purpose to the character's "death," maybe if they hadn't done a ghost story three minutes ago, maybe if I hadn't been in an uber-bitchy mood for the last six months weeks, maybe if everything else on the show were intriguing, or . . . yeah, I'm just going to stop now.  This story blows.

Divider

Another sucky remnant of the dumbass sweeps stunt is this confusing timeline.  As our readers have pointed out, Emily was killed on Halloween, but everyone had Thanksgiving dinner last week, the day after they got back from the Halloween ball.  And now they're burying Emily, in Port Charles time a month after she died.  And Nikolas and Jason's facial wounds from Halloween haven't healed yet.  It's all such lazy writing.  Why the hell did everyone have to do Thanksgiving dinners last week?  Just skip it this year, to maintain some legitimacy to the story arc.  It's not like we all haven't seen every soap family have holiday dinners a hundred times before.

The fact that I'm bothered by stuff like this is one of the many indicators that I should be on some kind of medication, right?

Divider

As regular readers know, I try to stay unspoiled, so imagine my delight when GH used that mini-episode of My Big Fat Greek Tragedy on Friday to spark a Robin and Patrick reunion!  !!!

Patrickrobinconvohosp

Patrick:  I love you.  I miss you.  I try to move on, but I can't.  I see this bride getting wheeled in after getting run down on her wedding day and it's, it's like a sign.  Robin, life is too fragile.  I want to be with you.  I don't want to deny what is so obvious, that we love each other and we belong together.

Patrickrobinconvohosp2

Robin:  Not being with you is more difficult than I could have ever imagined, but we still want vastly different things out of our lives.

Patrick:  I want you in my life.

Patrickrobinconvohosp3

Patrick:  This is what is important.  Everything else, we'll figure out.

Eeeee!  Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson are so damned good together.  I hope Patrick and Robin don't immediately reunite and do the marriage and baby thing -- this is a soap, after all -- but I will be so glad if Patrick at least stops being a dick and Robin stops being a sperm-crazed psycho and these two get back to being all banter-y and adorable on an at least semi-regular basis.

Since he appears to be on a good road, I will admit that I had a strong desire to post this screencap of Patrick at Emily's funeral

Patrickgrief

with the explanation that Patrick appeared to be hotly grief-stricken.

I think a permanent reinstatement of the modifier may be in your future, Dr. Drake.  But you should try to be routinely shirtless if you'd like to make a better case for yourself.

Divider

Cameronglaringjason

Seriously, the kid who plays Cameron is incapable of doing anything other than glaring at Steve Burton.  It's hysterical.  Maybe the haircut will change the wee brilliant thespian's mind.

Divider

Carlythermometer

Carlythermometer2

Oh, god.  Things I look more forward to than poor Jax being saddled with a Carly spawn:

  • Project Runway being canceled
  • meetings involving instructions to "drill down" and use of a non-literal "parking lot"
  • the 37th season of The Real World
  • Steve Burton growing his hair out again
  • Shawn and Belle's next sex scene on Days
  • pooper-scoopering my yard after a heavy rain

I did love Jason's expression of horror/confusion when Carly started telling him about wanting another baby.

Jasoncarlydiscussingbaby

I couldn't decide which possible Jason perspective I liked better -- that he was convinced she was going to ask him for sperm like the last woman who started a conversation similarly with him did, or that he was terrified of another Michael running around the planet.

And speaking of the little future mafioso, isn't his ongoing bloodthirstiness entertaining?  I feel an adolescent serial killer storyline coming on, and given the people who that kid has the easiest access to, I can't say I'd be totally opposed to it.

Divider

I could pretend I hated all the bad hair and fashion this week, but we all know that would be a lie.  I live for it.

Carlyuglyleathercoat

I'm going to assume someone in the GH wardrobe department sewed that mess in-house, because I refuse to believe a professional designer would put a full skirt on a black leather jacket.  That's about as fashionably logical a material and style pairing as, like, wool flannel thigh-highs, or a shearling thong.

Lulubadoutfit

They've given Lulu the most odious aspects of Carly's personality; are they now foisting her wardrobe on the younger Spencer as well?  I don't have enough space to explain everything that's wrong with that outfit.  Not to mention her hair.  Julie Berman's hair looked fantastic at the Emmys, so we know that when she's on her own it looks great.  That, combined with the fact that most of the other women on the show are suffering similar troubles, tells me the blame is fairly placed on the GH crew.

The styling is bad too, but I really must implore Becky Herbst to stop lightening her hair.

Lizbadhair

With her bone structure and coloring she can totally pull off the dark brown.  The over-highlighted, 70s thing she's got going on hurts my feelings.

And even Megan Ward's hair didn't look fabulous one day this week!

Kateheadband

That headband is made of mistake.  As is this 'do:

Lulubadhair2_2

Which is just not well-executed.  And is wholly inappropriate for a funeral

Lulubadhairemilysfuneral

particularly when paired with a sleeveless dress.  In New York, in late November.  What were the wardrobers thinking?  Does anyone on this show even try anymore?

Divider

Georgiespinellirobe

The hate-on this show has for Georgie Jones makes me mental.  Lindze Letherman deserves so much better.  This latest indignity, chasing after Spinelli like a puppy, is the last straw.

This week, we learn that she's so wrapped up in squeeing around after dorky Damian than she doesn't return Dillon's many calls? 

Dillonemilysfuneral

I mean, Maxie was TOTALLY right about his hair, and I really don't care about Georgie and Dillon's relationship anymore, but Georgie did not used to be the kind of girl who would lose touch with friends because she had some stupid crush.

And then there was the wacky physical comedy bit.

Georgiesoup

Who could have seen that coming?!  And then her little adventure in robe-wearing was interrupted by Spinelli fawning all over Nadine.  Ugh. 

When I think that they're tearing down a formerly independent, bright young woman over this

Spinellisuit

I remember that I really, really hate this show.

Divider

Nedemilysfuneral

NED!  Hello again!  May I suggest that, since you are a Quartermaine and therefore among The Hunted, you install various forms of security to insure your continued non-deadness?  Also, call me!

Divider

Reginaheadscarf

Is Regina contractually required to wear a headscarf every time she appears on screen?

Divider

So, I've somehow managed to reach this point in my life without ever attending a funeral.  I've known plenty of people who've died, but they were all of the don't bother or memorial service or varieties. Therefore I'm uninitiated in the details of this convention, and was unaware they can be theme events?  Like if the dead person is a Corey Hart fan, or something?

Sunglassesbobbie

Sunglasseskellylainey

Sunglasseslogan

Sunglassesmonica

Sunglassesnik

So bizarre!

Divider

I lied earlier in this post when I said the reason I'm becoming a Liason shipper is the actors' chemistry and the cuteness of Jason and Liz's baby.  The real reason is this comment a reader left earlier today:

you hypocrites and bitch's and stupid slut's need to shut the hell up and leave jason and elizabeth and stop dissing them because you don't like together or just don't like them so mind your business and shut up and leave them alone.as for lucky that good for nothing is not the father of either one of those kids so shut up. I know lucky may have some legal rights to jake because liz pretend that lucky is the father but no one knows if liz let lucky sign jake birth certificate even if he did and liz and lucky went to court thats when lucky lose his right to jake because the judge will now know that jake is jason son and as for cameron lucky as no rights to him because lucky never think about adopeting cameron so lucky have no claim to cameron.as for sam goes the stupid bitch is the bigest liar on the show who is still lying to lucky and also sam is the bigest hypocrite unearth like lucky.

How can I argue with that kind of logic?  (I had so longed for the return of katie f or one of her equally insightful friends.) 

As I'm sure is obvious, we're going to have to take sides on this one.  Mallory is going to head up the "slut's" and I am going to lead the "bitch's."  It will be like West Side Story, complete with rumbles, but with better shoes and less singing in faux-accents.  We're accepting applications; experience in bitchery and/or sluttiness, grammatical ineptitude, and soap-character over-investment are required.

Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.

Comments

I have been known to slut, but I think my true calling lies in bitchery (sorry, Mallory!). On the other hand, Becca's near toleration of St. Jasus makes me fear for joining her side. :::shudder::: Can I be a whore instead? You can throw barware at me if it helps...

I'm convinced they've found a sunglasses sponsor to pay a few salaries around the place.

Sign me up for the "Bitch's." Sorry, Mallory. I'm just not slut enough for your crew, but I am certainly bitch enough.

Also, as someone who rotinely attends funerals, (I have a large extended family and on average have attend one funeral a year since I was four) sunglasses are as necessary as wearing black. Now, I live in Louisiana where it's sunny most of the year, but sunglasses not block sunlight, they also mask red eyes, normal when you've been balling your eyes about because you actually cared about the person who died. It's a fashion trick. And yes, the crying thing is for guys too, especially guys. Sometimes they don't want people to know they're upset.

wow.... absolutely hilarious. Thank you for that!!!

I see the scathing speaking continues. Thank goodness.

Seriously, Becca, do not go to the dark side. Jason KILLS PEOPLE FOR A LIVING. And I really don't see the Steve/Becky chemistry. I just don't. Even if Jason didn't, you know, KILL PEOPLE FOR A LIVING, I wouldn't like Jason and Liz as a couple because I don't see, feel or sense the chemistry that so many claim to see. On the plus side, having the two of them in the same scenes expedites my fast forwarding. And I cannot get enough of Cam glaring at Jason. Makes my day. Get that kid a Emmy.

I also loved Tracy Q this week, especially in her words to Monica. Jane Elliott never fails to amaze me. I want her on screen more, please.

Now that Emily is .... whatever she is .... (and it is so NOT romantic, Guza) does this mean that Alan has disappeared? It's been a while since we've seen him. Can we have more than one 'dead, but not really' characters on the show at the same time?

Just as a reminder, Becca, Jason KILLS PEOPLE FOR A LIVING.

great review!

Kimberly and Jason are wonderful together as always, but i'm really going to need for Patrick to apologize for being a disrespectful dick and grow the f up before i can truly EEEE. until then, boy's hotly tainted.

first time this week i've enjoyed gh, with the exception of "notaghostemily"...and will "notaghostemily" have sex with nikolas? and if alfred interupts them, will he see nikolas humping air?? so confused..LOVED, scrubs..glad to see REALpatrick back, instead of PODpatrick from ns..let the groveling begin, so you guys can reinstate 'hotly' back with his name.

i'm happy for 'liason' fans, but i must ask, during the love scene, where was the skin?? did they have fully clothed sex?? same with the 'afterglow'..but i love their song..

Has anyone seen this clip of AliveAlan and RealEmily on YouTube? http://youtube.com/watch?v=0ViV40vj9I8

Not only do Stuart Damon and Amber Tamblyn need to headline some prime time show somewhere - I'd watch THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF SIDNEY THE BEAR any day over present GH, but Alan has some really eerie dialogue with Emily, who is mourning the loss of her mother, Paige, and they're discussing her favorite part of The Wizard of Oz (having just been cast by Lucy to play the part in the Nurse's Ball).

Alan: I imagine that's what death is like, really. Going from black and white into technicolor.

Emily: I don't know. It's hard to imagine.

Alan: I don't know either. Tell you, they have a couple of really nice theories about what happens to you after you die.

Now they're both ghosts. Proving why Claire Labine is a god, why GH of the mid-1990s ruled and today's GH sucks.

Great post, as usual, Serial Drama. I love this place.

No way was that Jiz sex sexy you crazy woman! First of all his hair was always in the way, which was hilarious. It covered both of their faces while he was on top and kissing her, which I actually appreciated. I just ate a tuna salad and didn't want to bring it back up.

Then after the sex was over they were cuddling under covers dressed in turtle necks and pants? Personally I like a little nudity at least during sex...you?

The only explanation is her excessive skinniness and newish bust vs. his thick neck and bad hair. Perhaps Jiz naked was deemed just too scary? And this on a show filled with "funny psycho killing mob bosses", soon to be redheaded serial killing preteens, and endless approved and admired mob killings.

Jane Elliot rocked her scene at the funeral w/ Monica this week. She outacted Edward and Liz in the grief department and she did it with like three lines only!!!

Run Ned run...........Save yourself you dimpled cutie!

The Emily dead as in newspaper dead, is a new low for Guza. He sucks scum out of ponds. I weep for NL and TC and this crap. Who knew Alan was the lucky one in ghostville?!?!?!

GH...brought to you by RayBan. Very funny zarathelawyer!

Lulu's funeral hair looks like me before washing my makeup off, then shampooing heavily.

A new assault on us scathing speakers...yipeeee! She is President of Jiz Love Forever right? Or maybe she is the kind of woman who writes to convicted felons in prison looking for love and companionship? Either way...welcome and we love you too.

Sadly for my sex life I am way more of a bitch than a slut. Sign me up for rumbles accompanied by song.

"I want to be a Corinthos moll...everyting free as a Corinthos moll....ok to kill as a Corinthos moll....bed Jason too as a Corinthos moll....yeeehaaaa!"

sung to "In America" music from West Side Story

1. Cameron is my hero and a much better actor than MB.

2. Patrick and Robin were wicked cute and hot...even though Leyla keeps getting shoved down our throats. WE DON'T WANT OR LIKE HER!!!! At least on Night Shit she was a sneaky man stealing deadly nurse skank...on GH she is written like a saint who never does or did anything wrong let along bitchy, shedevilish, or fatally. No money for Alan or Laura or Bobbie, but plenty for Regina's scarves and Leyla's salary? Bite me.

3. Georgie chasing after clueless idiogeek Spin just to be murdered in a few weeks is cruel and a slap in the face of all things wonderful that once were GH.

4. Propping Pip....ouch. There are no words for that insanity.


Gosh, you know, I was thinking of shunning you for your newfound Liason shippiness, but how could I argue with the logic of that reply.

But seriously...the only sort of chemistry that I see on screen when Steve and Becky are on together is probably the ammonia residue from trying to scrub them off.

And Ned can't call you because he's MINE. or in Oakdale. One of the two.

I loved Patrick and Robin on Friday. Patrick did everything hotly that day for me. I can't wait until you restore that modifier for him.

I am a slut and a bitch so if need be, I will be the mediator between the "sluts" and "bitches".

Since Mallory and I share the same nemesis (Epiphabitch), I will have to side with the sluts, even though I am really more of a bitch.

I'm so relieved that the day is nearing in which Patrick's hotly modifier can make it's return. He and Robin's scenes on Friday were the highlight of the last several weeks for me.

Poor LL. She *does* deserve so much better both from wardrobe and from the writers.

I hope that Cam never ever looks at the holy hitman any other way than he does now. The haircut does not outweigh that whole killing people for a living thing.

I was actually far more disturbed by Kate's hair once she was in the black outfit dressed for the funeral. That was just a crime against good hair everywhere.

I love Jason and Elizabeth, and I UHH, just wondering where one of Jason's hand were on the bed.

They are hot, and I loved I thank God for you. I squeel over them.

Love scrubs too.

I totally agree with you: this week did not totally suck. Which begs the question, are some of the writers (even though they deny it), manning the picket lines and we have substitute writers? Or perhaps AW was let out a few times during potty breaks. One can only hope...

Becca, I also thoroughly enjoyed Elizabeth & Jason's scenes on Thursday. I agree that Becky Herbst and Steve Burton have incredible chemistry and, although I would have preferred more skin (particularly on SBu), I did enjoy how Liz led Jason on the stairs, sat him down and stood over him as she unbottoned his shirt. (Fans self) I don't mind a slow burn: those two ingnite the small screen.

Cameron is priceless. However, baby Jake held by St. Jasus on Thurs' eppy was sugar-cube-dipped-in-honey too sweet. Cameron & Jake may eventually upstage the entire GH cast!

Yes, the B&W Sweeps Ball was confusing, but sorry, less annoying than the Metro Court Hostage Sweeps, IMHO. And to everyone who is wondering how GH went from a Halloween Murderer's Ball to Thanksgiving, just remember: how many young soap children have gone away to school, only to return a year later, ready to drive, date and have sex? Lest we forget, Jerry Jax was once engaged to Bobbie Spenser and now he is apparently enamored with Carly. The space-time continuum does not apply to soaps.

Patrick & Robin -- no one tears up and gets a catch in his voice like Jason Thompson, and whenever he cries over Robin, he gets a temporary re-instatement of his HOTNESS!

I love Thanksgiving on GH: Ned always comes home for pizza. Ned...mmmmmmmmmm....he's what I am thankful for.

I can't choose sides (I am a slutty bitch) -- and what I really want to to is direct! So, I offer to direct and choregraph your upcoming 'General Hospital Story' production. After all, it is all about the shoes. Prada. Oh, and a Dooney & Burke bag. And great hair.

"I never hated you Dylan, just the hair". MAXIE ROCKS!!!

Hey, Maxie, Johnny may be sticking around -- get into some mischief! Sam, resume drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Ned (aka Eddie Maine), please stay, Alexis needs you. Kate, time to get your bitch back on. And, finally, Diane, where are you?! Come on, people, let's make Port Charles fun again!

Thanks for pointing out the insanity of Liz's new home. She and Lucky could barely afford the studio basement apartment without Nikolas paying their medical bills along with infusions from Jason. They slept on a used sofabed for shit's sake!

Then they moved into the paid for Spencer famiy home for some sexless antifun and lying.

Now after the divorce and loss of his income from the PCPD she can afford a fully furnished luxury single family home.

But even more insane was Jason saying baby Jake had his hands.

PUHLEASE.....is St. Jasus gonna buy him a little handgun to put in those matching hands? The kid would be better off without the hands of a HITMAN. The baby however is quite cute. He looks a little like Ziggy from the old cartoons. And SB is obviously comfy with babies. Which makes Cam an even better actor for how he looks at Jason onair...priceless.


Certainly I'm no arbiter of post-coital etiquette but I have to believe that if, after sex, you immediately put on most of your clothes and then cuddle, there is something seriously wrong with your intimacy.

Like you, Becca, I was amazed that I was actually turned on by the way Liz took Jason to bed. I was beginning to doubt my sanity. But I really began to doubt myself when afterwards they seemed not to have actually had sex. What happened?, I asked myself. Did they get interrupted?

I did hear somewhere that Steve Burton refuses to do shirtless scenes, but why not be under the covers? It was just weird.

As for Jason Thompson, may he have many more of those scenes where he can demonstrate his worthiness of the "hotly" moniker. I will be good for him and great for us.

I would love to be on either team, really I would. However, I fear that my solid knowledge that GH is in fact a work of fiction, coupled with my ridiculous attachment to both capitalization and punctuation, would be a liability.

I will happily attend a rumble, though.

There are so many holes in the writing for GH, it is hard to keep up the leap of faith it requires to watch this soap. Liz's new surroundings make no sense unless we find out that Jason has been subsidizing her new lifestyle without her knowing it. Emily becoming a "ghost" is not romantic or intriguing to me. It is a visit to the supernatural, something that usually fails on a soap because it moves the show away from reality, the essence of soaps for most viewers. I am not such a fan of Natalia Livingston, but I did love the character of Emily. They should have at least tried to re-cast her. It was an opportunity for them to have a new "take" on the character. The best thing about the death of Emily for me was the opportunity it gave for some decent airtime to Leslie Charleson. Why the heck did they kill off Alan and undercut the Quartermaines, one of the only families still left on GH? At the very least, Monica should have been made chief of staff at GH. I am a firm believer in trying to re-cast characters. I enjoyed Scott Clifton as Dillon, but I understand the need for younger talent to move on and try other things. That doesn't mean that the character should be written off. If they are so hell-bent on bringing on young people, why didn't they bring back a new Dillon last week for the funeral? That would have been a lot more interesting and better for the show than Johnny Zacchara...another mobster in the wings itching to drag the show even further to the dark side.

I actually kind of like Jason and Liz too. And Cameron and Jake are all kinds of adorable. But am I the only one that didn't get the 'hands' comment, I mean sure its cute if he said 'he has my eyes' but hands, aren't they a tad underdeveloped to resemble that of his hitman daddy. And I love Scrubs, they are one of the brighter things on the show and totally had me swooning after Friday's episode! Patrick deserves his hotly modifer back, if only for the day. And GH really has to stop stealing the same thing, like what are they ever gonna do with the 6+ sunglasses they now have? Oh, and someone once asked 'Where Bobbie has been?' someone answered, 'In the Disney vault let out for limited time only!' LOL, I think the same goes for Ned. And they really need to stop hating the beautiful, talented women on the show! Oh and Carly wanting to have jax's baby, I'm soory, Ingo and Laura would have a pretty baby, but with Carly's kids they might be a spawn! Morgan is soo adorable, but Michael frightens me. Didn't he have ANOTHER 'you must kill them!' moment this week. Jeez, you should beware of reading this next part because its sorta a spoiler yet not: 'Carly fears Michael will choose the thug life.' Me: Ummm... ok I thought she knew that he would be the next Sonny, but NOT adorable like Maurice Bernard.

Thanks for your scathing speaking words girls. I can follow 'sluts' or 'bitches' really I'm good with either.

A fantastic post. If I listed all the great lines, my post would be longer than hypocrites-n-bitch's-n-slut's, oh my. So I'll leave it at my other nomination for Line of the Year:

"It's like the writers are trying to get fired. "

That just about says it all. Brava, Becca.

Thank god we have KMc & JT on this show to give us REAL chemistry and fantastic acting that never feels like acting! I have high hopes that Patrick will be earning back his hotly modifier on a permamnent basis...

Thanks for your wicked insights and commentary. I needed a good laugh like you wouldn't believe and you gave me a doozy of a one!!! Love this blog!

Have just discovered your site and am overjoyed, if shocked, to realize that I am not the only person in the world to be bored with/ repulsed by Sonny & Jason hero worship. And while I realize that I am still the only person in the world who really liked Dillon and Georgie together (and has not forgotten Lulu's lying ho phase -- don't lynch me for that, Lulu devotees), I totally concur with your words about what they're doing to poor Georgie's character. Maybe Guza disapproves of the spelling of "Lindze" as much as I. Is a sign of Ms. Letherman's likeability that I've been able to get past that.

And I'm with Revenge Maiden on the Ned and Alexis thing. I mean, if they're going to revisit plotlines from ten years ago, Ned and Alexis were much more fun than that short-lived Liz and Jason dalliance. Was so good to see Ned, am glad they let him out of the dungeon for a couple days. Not so glad about Bobbie, though; poor thing's had so much work done, she couldn't even muster up a sincere expression of pity for Monica's loss.

Am a huge fan of yours. Go team "slut's" -- can we please play a drinking/ grammar game with that comment?!

Erm... perhaps there should be a clarifying "who" between "and" and "has" in that parenthetical... I promise to never lecture on grammar and syntax again.

I just love jason and Liz together. JMO

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