No More Nookie, Please
If I hadn't already solidified my Church Lady status, this post would do it. That's because its sole purpose is to plead with the Days of Our Lives powers-that-be: Please, put down the sexy and back away slowly.
I know I've said that Days is mostly great lately, but I've finally identified what it does really, really badly: Sex appeal. Sure, Bo and Hope and Steve and Kayla are hot couples, but that's mostly just the actors' chemistry. You could have them recite the alphabet and pretty soon you'd feel the need to get them a room. And the show is good at letting James Scott . . . exist. James Scott and sexiness are as inseparable as Lindsay Lohan and skeevy men, or Dancing With the Stars and spray tan. There are the occasional chemistry-filled moments between other characters, but of late when the Days folks are really aiming right for "hotness"? Beware!!!
Because seriously, what the HELL was that sex scene with Sami and Lucas today? And that Shawn-as-cop role-playing thing with Belle and Shawn? That insane "Belle is a hot old-Hollywood vixen" fantasy of Phillip's yesterday? I thought once they killed off John -- eliminating the possibility of him continuing to hook up with Marlena (because this is not General Hospital) -- that I wouldn't have to bury my head under my couch pillows out of a combination of revulsion and laughter-induced-delirium during Days' attempts to bring sexy back, but I WAS SO WRONG.
On the bright side, I still have use for the term "guffudder," and if I fast-forward through all of Days' intentional attempts to heat things up, I will have way more time during the week for more important things, like buying handbags on eBay and trying to create the perfect smoky eye.