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« No More Nookie, Please | Main | Brought To You By C-SPAN »

December 06, 2007

The Scene So Terrible It Doesn't Deserve a Clever Title

Every time I get to a place where I think General Hospital maybe isn't that awful, that I could learn to tolerate Jason and Sonny, or Carly might have moments of humanity that -- bonus! -- involve her wearing a bra and a non-ugly top, the writers come along and punch me in the stomach.  Or, on special occasions, punch me in the stomach, call me fat, insult my shoes, and steal my favorite eyeshadow.  Yesterday was such an occasion.

Elizabeth:  Do you know that there are wonderful men, brave and kind, endlessly patient men who would give anything to be a father?
Patrick:  That's great.  Then I think those wonderful specimens should go for it.  What do you want from me?
Elizabeth:  You don't get it, do you?  He doesn't get it.  No.  The man – the men I'm talking about desperately want a family but they can't have one because of choices they made when they were too young to know any better.  And all you have to do is take your head out of your self-invested butt, reach up, and accept the gracious gift that's been given to you.
Leo:  You're on your own, brother.
Patrick:  You know what I don't get?  What any of this has to do with you.  What do you care if I have kids or not? 
Elizabeth:  Because Robin's my friend, and she's an amazing woman who deserves to have all of her dreams come true.  You have the ability to make that happen.  You have an incredible job, with an unlimited future, you're in good health, nobody's trying to kill you, and yet you won't even try to be a father because you're a big, fat, selfish coward.  Whatever, it's your loss, buddy.  You have to live with it.
[Elizabeth leaves]
Patrick [to Robin]:  Nice.
Robin:  I agree with every word she said.

THIS SHOW FILLS ME WITH SOAP OPERA RAGE.  If only I had a lowly assistant to bellow at, or a hitman I could dispatch to eliminate those who offend me.

I don't even know where to begin.  As is my way, I find it easiest to break down my reaction into questions, including:

  • Was I supposed to be rooting for Elizabeth in this scene? Seriously?!  "Woohoo, Lizzie!  Great judgmental stone-throwing aim in that big-ass glass house of yours!" [I will note, however, that Becky Herbst was great, even if what she was saying was absolute garbage.  What the hell are they doing to Elizabeth?  I blame the writers, of course, but also maybe Becky's unfortunate highlights.]
  • Do any of these writers have healthy relationships with the women they encounter, and if so, how do they keep said women from watching the show and then pummeling them to within an inch of their lives?
  • A woman wanting to have a man's baby, whether or not he wants one, is "a gracious gift" that cannot be rejected?!  Should we also be discussing that promising fall premiere of a little show called I Love Lucy?
  • Why did these idiot writers ruin what had been a really enjoyable girls' night out sequence?  Is it a fear of success?  Can't let an episode get too good!
  • Has this show really reached the point at which "nobody's trying to kill you" is considered a positive character trait?
  • Not wanting to have a child is selfish, but wanting to have one with someone who doesn't, just so that you get a baby, isn't?
  • What can we do to end the holiday scourge of colored tinsel?  (Okay, that might have been off-topic.)
  • If the roles were reversed, would there be any question but that this rant was TOTALLY outrageous?
  • The people who run this show really have no idea who its audience is, do they?
  • Is Jason still considered too young to be held accountable for his choices?  Will 40 be the year that responsibility finally kicks in?
  • Did the world learn nothing about children being a relationship dealbreaker from the epic heartbreak Monica Gellar suffered at the hands of Richard Burke?
  • If they finally put Robin and Patrick back together, will there be any viewers left that enjoy either of the characters enough anymore to care?
  • Is there anyone watching this show who thinks Bob Guza will do an HIV+ pregnancy storyline justice?  Is that the same person who appreciates Billy Baldwin's performance on Dirty Sexy Money?
  • Why was I more upset by this scene than by anything I've read in The New York Times since like 2005?

But hey, at least one character on this show has been able to express never wanting children, without everyone saying what an awful, selfish person she is, right?  WRONG!  Are you new?  First, the writers turned Kelly into a sex addict -- no healthy sex life for you, baby-hater!  Then, they have her say this today:

Kelly:  If I was madly in love with a guy and children were a dealbreaker?  Believe me, I'd give it a hard look.

My bad!  When I said I'd really thought about it but children just aren't for me, what I meant was PLEASE GOD JUST BRING ME THE RIGHT MAN and I'll say "uterus, open sesame!"


I sat through that horror yesterday and I made a note that I was going to restore Patrick's "hotly" modifier, at least temporarily, just out of spite.  But then I said, um, that's kind of weird because he's been a TOTAL dick for months, especially in his Night Shift incarnation, and as recently as Monday had proposed the self-centered "let's shack up for a year and then break up" solution to his romantic woes, so I should really chill. (And also, I should really stop talking to myself.)  But then reader Kat commented in another post that "I think we need to restore 'hotly' to Patrick just for sitting through that display without throwing Liz through a window."  And I realized that I am not crazy, at least because of this, and...it must be done:

Yesterday, Patrick was hotly baffled


then hotly irritated


then hotly offended


and finally, hotly disappointed.


Take that, harpies!

And to top it all off, they brought back Robin's hideous plaid winter coat.  WHY DOES THIS SHOW HATE ME?!

Screencaps courtesy of Clarissa.


I love Scrubs. I really do. I will watch any scene with them, even if it were reading the phone book together or arguing over a couch (oh, wait, I DID watch that one). But this episode has been sitting on my TIVO unwatched, with me downright afraid to watch it, because I cannot bear the thought of one of my favorite characters (Robin) agreeing with something as offensive as telling any human being that they are unselfish if they don't have a baby for someone who wants one. Forget what you want or need or fear -- just fork over your genetic material and get over yourself already. If it were a woman being fed that load of shite, we'd be screaming for Margaret Atwood. I just cannot bear to hear these words in regard to a couple that, for me, is the one saving grace of this increasingly awful show.

Don't even get me started on poor noble hitmen who are forced (and I by "are forced," I mean "quite readily choose") to renounce paternity even when they would be totally awesome dads, provided they avoided schedule conflicts between Little League games and the KILLING THEY GET PAID TO DO.

Okay, Brett. I'll give you that. Mac's one of the good guys--which is probably why we never see him. I guess I'm just cursed with a long memory--I'm still waiting for Scotty to tell Bobbie he threw away her husband Jake's letters! (By the way, I like Ned, too)

By the way, I think that maybe Patrick, and even Leyla, don't seem quite as horrible to people who didn't see NS. I'm not in any Patrick or Leyla camp; in fact I'm not in any camp (except the detest-Sonny-&-Jason-unreservedly camp); I'm fairly neutral on every character. It just seems that the NS viewers saw a more extreme Patrick-as-asshole/Leyla-as-vamp story than GH-only viewers.

I used Liz's rant as an opportunity to make a fresh cup of coffee .. ground the beans, went to the well for water ..

Well, I guess I can't add anything new to what's already been said since I agree with Becca and just about everyone else. Just reading the text of what was said again still makes me fume. And here I thought some traces of feminism were still alive and well. Guess I was wrong.

Further more, I am now a JT convert. Seriously. It was a combination of this and that horrible Umdead Emily storyline that has gotten me off the TC train and onto this one. He has more patience for putting up with this horrible storyline than I certainly would have. Being a fellow southpaw doesn't hurt either.

And as a new JT convert, might I add that there's a t-shirt of him out now for charity that shows him in nothing but his birthday suit. Just copy this link: http://www.ghfanclub.com/indextshirt.html
and prepare the smelling salts. You may want to post that Becca. That should help with the hotly status and make up for that crappy scene a little.

It's for charity...got to love that.

I think the lie that Marianne is referring too (and forgive me if I’m wrong) is the so-called compromise. He wants to table all talk of babies and have a perfect year of ‘coupledom’. That’s a load of crap. As Robin pointed out to him yesterday, he has no intention of changing his mind, or even considering the concept. So the idea that Robin should put off her desire to have kids so that he can have his perfect year is just as selfish as her trying to convince him that he would be a good father.

And as far as her reaction to Liz yelling at Patrick, how many times has Patrick stood by and smirked when someone was telling Robin off. What goes around, comes around.

This s/l is headache inducing on both sides and as a Scrubs fan, I have at various points been annoyed with both characters. For me, this scene was just one in a long line of crap that we have been subjected to lately. I'm holding out hope that it may get better soon (but this is GH so probably not)

Oh and Charlie that shirt is *thud* and of course we gotta support charity.

Robin has for months respected Patrick's decision re: kids, while he went out his way to belittle hers. I'm sorry, Robin gets at least ONE day where she's pissy at him. And as for dending him. Let me think of all the times Patrick has ever jumped to her defense. Robin deserves so much better.

Ok, first off you have my eternal affection for the crack about Billy Baldwin on DSM. He's definitely the weak link on that otherwise fabulous show.

I really don't even have the words to express fully my frustration with this piece of crap storyline they are doing for my beloved Scrubs. I still want them together because without them I have no couple I can genuinely root for and because I simply adore KMc/JT together. But I also am fighting the urge to dispense my imaginary hitman to take care of these writers. It simply makes my brain throb that any of these idiots actually thought this crap was good enough to put on air. After the debacle that was Wednesday's episode, I simply erased Thursday's sight unseen from my DVR. From what I heard, my sanity stands a better chance of remaining intact that way.

I desperately want the REAL Robin and the REAL Patrick back on my screen all the time. These pod versions have to go.

"By the way, I think that maybe Patrick, and even Leyla, don't seem quite as horrible to people who didn't see NS. I'm not in any Patrick or Leyla camp; in fact I'm not in any camp (except the detest-Sonny-&-Jason-unreservedly camp); I'm fairly neutral on every character. It just seems that the NS viewers saw a more extreme Patrick-as-asshole/Leyla-as-vamp story than GH-only viewers."

I believe this is very true Aydee. I only saw the first episode of NS and I don't hate Patrick or Leyla and I find in discussing GH Scrubs many people have a hybrid mish-mash of memories of what occurred when and on which show. But nearly every Scrubs fan (I'm guessing 93%)who watched NS came away from that show with a vigorous hatred for Patrick and Leyla.

JMO and apparently many disagree, but I thought Patrick's one year compromise offer was genuine. I really believe he was giving her a year to talk to him about it and see if during that time something would change his mind and he would be open to the idea of parenthood.

First of all,

I think patrick needed to hear that from Elizabeth. Patrick needs to realize that he wants it now. Typical man thing to not want kids at first. Besides....robin's jacket is NICE. Fashion much? lol

"Typical man thing to not want kids at first."

My dad would beg to differ. As would my brothers, my uncles, my grandfathers and, oh, probably a whole lot of men who would be offended by that generalization. It's kind of like saying "All women want babies, deep down." No, they don't.

Yes, my husband wanted kids way worse than me when we first got married, and prior to marriage. In fact, he wanted four kids and I was grateful that because of gynecological complications I could only have two. FOUR?! I am so thankful I only had two. I mean, I love them both, but I can only handle so many responsibilities at once.

Um... yes, so again I loved your post BECCA!!!

Um...unless I'm very much mistaken, aren't most of the writers women? That makes this crap so much worse.

Go Liz.

Patrick is an absolute ass! He deserves everything he gets for treating Robin like shite! What kinda comprimise is that let's have sex for a year fulfill my wants and needs put your dreams on hold, yeah right Pattycakes, I don't think so!

Nice to have someone sticking up for a girlfriend on this show!

I can't... breathe.

I'm laughing too damn hard!
Ok - first..

"My bad! When I said I'd really thought about it but children just aren't for me, what I meant was PLEASE GOD JUST BRING ME THE RIGHT MAN and I'll say "uterus, open sesame!"

OW! *Big Grin*

Then all the perfect pics!


"In the GH scenes that play only in my head, Patrick replied with something along the lines of, "Don't judge me for my life choices just because your boyfriend loves his career in killing people more than he loves you or your son."

Thank you Chad!

then this by charlie...

"a t-shirt of him out now for charity that shows him in nothing but his birthday suit. Just copy this link: http://www.ghfanclub.com/indextshirt.html"

I CAN'T BELIEVE I had actually forgotten about that shirt! Much needed hotness. Thank you Charlie!

I so love this site!

Liz could have been calling Patrick out for being to damn hotly and I still would have been cheering. Patrick has done his fair share of crap and he never gets called on it, so I'll take him feeling some heat any way I can get it. Poor misunderstood Patrick had a bad day. Whatever!

You're welcome, Nicole and Kirsten. Glad to help giving all that crap that has happened this week.

I took Liz's speech to be of a drunken bitter woman. We all have our moments and when we are drunk we say things that we really shouldn't. I chalk GNO to be just that; a spiel of emotions. I kind of liked Liz's rant for the mere fact that it was a nice change from Patrick being praised for his wonderfulness. I also liked GNO with Patrick and Leo. It's a complicated situation between Patrick and Robin and they both have their points and they both have their faults.

I did enjoy the scenes after Liz and the girls left Robin and Patrick to talk. They delved a little bit more into the heart of the matter and it wasn't all about a woman trying to change a man or a man trying to convince a woman to give up her dreams. It was about two people who loved each other and are having a hard time letting go and moving on. It was about two people trying to seek a "compromise" and finding none. It was about two people hurting like hell for the way things turned out and being left without the other. It was about disappointment.

It's not all black and white, but I guess I see your entry as a reactionary one, rather than one that gave the whole scene (beyond Liz's rant) much thought.

So, it's clear, apparently not everyone is more fun when they're drunk.

I'm disappointed in the restoration of the "hotly" qualifier for Patrick. I'm also disappointed as hell that the writers finally take Patrick to task for something, and they choose to have him get bitched out for the ONE issue about which he hasn't behaved like an ass. Patrick doesn't want kids, and that's fine for him, a valid choice, and it doesn't make him selfish. But everything else he's done on NS and GH certainly does, up to and certainly including his antics at blocking Robin's attempts to find someone else to give her the child she wanted (like he told her to do in that lovely apartment scene where they broke up)and the recent half-assed compromise wherein he compromises exactly nothing. From what I can tell, although Elizabeth's reasoning for it was ridiculous (and really all about her frustrations with Jason), her general drunken assessment of him as a selfish coward with his head up his own posterior was dead on. If everyone and their mother was getting on Patrick about this issue and had forever, I would agree. But this is really the first time Patrick's been called out on anything. It sucks, but it's typical GH that it wasn't actually about the right things - his general treatment of the girlfriend he "loves" excluding the baby issue. And I'd have a whole lot more sympathy for Patrick's stand on not having babies, if I didn't see him actively try to convince Robin she shouldn't want them, she wasn't ready for them and "it was just a dream" and once again coming back to her and asking her back without a workable compromise on the table. He knows she wants kids, he knows it's a deal breaker. Richard/Monica had their one last dance and he walked away like a gentleman. Patrick has done Robin absolutely no such courtesy.

My outrage is for Robin having to once again prop that waste of space, and listen to the woman who actively went after her boyfriend on both shows, not only cry in her beer and talk about having sex with him (in the apartment Robin picked out, on the couch she picked out), but then once again be too damned nice for her own good. My outrage is for Robin's medical opinion once again being discounted by a fairly lousy nurse who honestly believes it's okay to leave pregnant women in elevators with hitmen and stoners, and once again Patrick backing her up. My outrage is for the fact that Robin has pretty much been too damned nice during this whole thing, apologizing for things she didn't even do at the B&W ball, apologizing to Leyla when one certainly wasn't needed, and being definitely nicer to Patrick than warranted (calling him perfect, saying he'd be a great father, etc.) even when he has seen almost no need to be nice back (see lovely scene in which he accused her of playing victim during the B&W ball), and the one time that Robin gets drunk and pissy with her friends, Patrick of course has to show up, so that Robin can be painted as the wrong one. Rather than the baby talk, which I think is actually premature, I wish they would address the one line of Robin's that I think sums up her feelings about Patrick's "commitment" nicely: "You want it to be us and whatever you can get on the side." That's what I've seen on my screen too. And I hate that they're going to jettison talking about the very real problems in this relationship, for a baby issue that's simply the symptom of a whole lot of other ones involving, trust, communication, and mixed signals.

Yep! It was time for patrick to hear that from Robin (about her dream..holding her baby.) His expression on his face while she was describing her dream was priceless...paying close yet delicate intent on what she was saying surely showed he cared and showed at least an ounce of compassion there. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens next. But all in all, pat needed to hear that from liz...AND ROBIN.

Anne, I disagree her actions caused the break-up. Their break-up was very much mutual. Robin wanted a baby more than she wanted to be with Patrick. Patrick wanted to not have a baby more than he wanted to be with Robin. They dumped each other.

How many great men, had no children either by chose or nature, Patrick even told her to adopt, maybe he's really worry about her health, either, if it's true these are woman that write this material, they should be sue,

Okay, in addition to the writers decision to "punch me in the stomach, call me fat, insult my shoes, and steal my favorite eyeshadow." I think they also drank all my coffee and fed my Swiss chocolate to three-year-olds. Bastards.

What in the name of all that's right and holy are they doing???? From the time the women walked up to the bar and saw that ridiculous sign, to the time that Liz stormed out in all her hypocritical, self-righteous, over-highlighted glory, that seens was a great big WTF. I was seriously just speechless. Which never happens. I am able to rant coherently even after Carly scenes, so the fact that I was left sputtering gibberish means that the writers really outdid themselves.

I agree, too, that not all men don't want kids at first. My brother is actively seeking a 3rd wife (he's 46) and she must be open to having children because he's "only" got three. Yet I only had one. By choice. We don't like it when the writers stereotype, and we ought not to do it ourselves.

Finally, some of you were talking about some guy named Mac? Who is Mac? It sounds somewhat familiar... Is he related to someone on the show? Is he in the mob? Guess he's not on the show any more? [/sarcasm]

I thought I was alone. I thought everyone else would be all, "you go, girl!" to judgmental, insane, self-righteous Liz. Thank you, ladies. Your equal degrees of pissed-offedness have saved me from quitting GH for the fiftieth time in ten years. I will continue to watch and relish my ire.

Sorry, Mollyboo, I have to respectfully disagree.

Patrick was willing to continue the relationship as it had been established. Robin was not. Don't misunderstand me. This is not an issue of blame, but it was Robin's wishes that ended the relationship. She wanted something that she couldn't get from it, so she left. I don't have an issue with that, but clearly they would still be together if Robin had not gotten the Baby Rabies.

I think they both gave up too easily. They had, what, a 3 minute discussion before she left and that was it? Robin & Patrick are not a priority for the writing, but that's been true from the beginning.

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