Completely Unwarranted Optimism
I really should have learned by now that thinking positively doesn't pay. Just recently, I've been optimistic that:
- Josh Jackson would end his sham of a relationship with Diane Krueger and initiate the whirlwind romance with me that has been overdue since at least the third season of Dawson's Creek
- global warming, without further destroying the planet, would kick things up a bit just enough to avoid my having to shovel any snow this year
- Fred Thompson would win the presidency just so "Hail to the Chief" could be replaced with the Law & Order "chung chung" sound effect on a loop
- I could tell the difference between Lipstick Mafia and Cashmere Jungle (related item: that Patricia Fields would not be given the opportunity to inflict her "fashion sense" on the viewing public ever again)
- Matthew Perry would do something, anything, post-Friends so that my celebrity crush on him could retain legitimacy
- the writers' strike would end in time for there to be a full TV season and more importantly to allow for a regular Golden Globes ceremony that includes the usual ample opportunities for fashion mockery
- Starbucks would stop making delicious skim hot cocoa, to which I am compelled to add full-fat whipped cream
So why, then, am I somewhat optimistic about this whole pregnancy storyline with Robin and Patrick on General Hospital?
Especially with respect to these two characters, I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson. The last time I was this optimistic about something related to Patrick and Robin it was Night Shift, and we all know how that turned out. We were even forced to revoke the hotly modifier. And already in this pregnancy storyline, we've seen:
- Robin running around town like a crazy person asking everyone and their father to donate DNA to her cause of motherhood-with-a-hint-of-martyrdom
- Patrick being an asshole without any backstory explanation to make him sympathetic
- more of the Patrick and Leyla friends-with-benefits routine, which lacks any romantic chemistry or interest whatsoever and which fails on the most basic of soapy levels -- who is rooting for these two? who is torn? where is the drama? why does Patrick ever have to wear a shirt, and what is up with Leyla/Nazanin's diction?!
- insanely inexcusable, socially irresponsible, and anger-making medical inaccuracy: Patrick and two other doctors accepted that an HIV test immediately after unprotected sex with someone who is positive is sufficient proof that he didn't get infected. And then he had sex with Leyla without (we assume) telling her about his exposure. What the hell? I get that maybe these idiots (I'm assuming this nonsense was sketched out by the usual writers prior to the strike) didn't watch the show during the Stone Cates years, but did they remember what they wrote just a year or so ago when Patrick was last exposed? Remember the mulitple tests, the six-month wait, the "I guess you got your committed relationship by default" assholery? Seriously, do these people have any short-term memory? You know, if not, and if it's because they're all a bunch of stoners, that does kind of explain a lot.
Anyway, so far the story has definitely had its flaws, including plot holes you could drive a truck full of Sonny and Jason's totally illegal yet morally upstanding imports through. But there are promising signs:
- there have been some touching moments of Patrick expressing concern for Robin that are a good reminder of how great a couple these two were (and could be again)
- Robin has too much going on to regress back to that kind of preachy holier-than-thou character she became for a bit after coming back to Port Charles to try to fix Jason's broken brain
- Nazanin Boniadi is actually improving (it was kind of unfair to make her learn to act onscreen), and her hair is less ginormous
- Robin gets to be pregnant and there was no entanglement of either a sperm donor or Carly
- the story is an interesting twist on "Who's the Daddy?" (which is the worst retread in soaps)
- it has the potential to go on for almost a year, which should guarantee more screentime for Scrubs; I'm really looking forward to the sidelong glances and the drawn-out drama of Robin's pregnancy and Patrick's secret paternity
- there's the somewhat unusual (for soaps) issue of man who doesn't want to be a father, which if they explore further could be truly involving
- Jason Thompson's and Kimberly McCullough's performances are great, as usual
- Rick Springfield might be involved and might sing Jessie's Girl! (I have no idea why, I'm just still holding out hope)
But let's face it, if Guza et al have their way, all of my hopes will be dashed against the CGI cliffs of Wyndemere and this story is going to find new ways to simultaneously suck and blow. So why the hell am I not throwing tomatoes at my screen whenever any aspect of this storyline is on it?
Screencap courtesy of Clarissa.