Days of Our Lives Week in Review
Last week, on Days of Marlena's Life . . .
Oh, what? There are other characters on this show? The hell you say!
I was all set to rant about how I am completely OD'ing on Marlena and while I like Deidre Hall just fine (when she's not noisily making out with Drake Hogestyn) I don't understand what segment of the viewing audience was clamoring for more Marlena, but then I procrastinated putting up last week's Week in Review just long enough to see yesterday's episode, and Marlena was so over-the-top, soap-dramatically, completely-out-of-touch-with-reality-and-everything-else-sensical-in-the-world batshit crazy that I lost my ranty mojo. I mean, this whole storyline is really messing up the show, and is heading towards the territory GH knows well in which I'm supposed to go "woohoo!" when "good" characters do really despicable stuff, but, here's the thing: Marlena surreptitiously injected Stefano with a drug that has outwardly paralyzed him but which leaves him fully aware of everything going on around him, and she's going to torture him psychologically while he's in that state, for the rest of his life or at least until her friends and family can figure out what her NotDead husband's mission from Stefano was, a mission that will somehow involve Cardboard Ireland. How do you read that sentence and not applaud its awesome soapiness?!
Maybe I have a little bit of rant left in me: Enough with the Marlena overload, already. Paris Hilton is less overexposed at this point.
I am looking forward to EJ and Sami on the run, or whatever is coming up, because they sit around having dumbass conversations ad nauseum just like she and Lucas used to do and I start to want both of them to visit John when he's in one of his moods and has picked his 'cuff locks with manicure scissors again.
EJ: Samantha, I'm sorry, I'm not taking any risks with my family. This incident with the [?] made up my mind. Look, just listen to me, okay? We need to get the twins, we need to get a car, we need to pack it up, and we need to get out of here. We need to find somewhere safe to stay, where nobody can find us. Now, when Stefano is finally in jail – and I mean in jail permanently – or he's been deported, then we can come out again.
Sami: Are you insane?
Word, Sami. Stefano has come back from the dead 19 times, is a certified brainwasher, and facilitates Satanic possessions -- I hardly think U.S. immigration regulations would be much of a barrier to his continued havoc-wreaking.
Yes, you should definitely call me.
On the one hand, I continue to believe it was a mistake to bring John Black back from the dead. His hammy craziness is out of step with the other, much improved aspects of the show.
But on the other hand, he's doing stuff like trying to kill Marlena
and fantasizing about strangling Sami (who I usually like, but who is annoying as hell lately)
so now I'm torn. Therefore, in honor of the presidential primaries, I'm going to let a poll govern what I think.
Okay, so the replacement writers are in place and horribly, apparently the person responsible for OLTL's radical downfall of recent years (yes, I know it's good again now) and for some of Days' weakest stories is at the helm. Did she bother to do a refresher on any of the characters? Because Abe is wandering around town with the crazy eyes
saying stuff like
Abe: Oh, they're gonna be crawlin' up your jock strap.
and that is disturbing on a number of levels. Never did I think I would have to say this, but: could we please not talk about EJ's jock strap?
Lucas is still in jail, Claire is still kidnapped, Belle is still in the hospital, Chloe still has boobs, and Phillip cut his hair. I think that catches you up on the "high" points of those storylines.
So last week we had two hideous scarves
and this week we found out they weren't anomalies; Days' stylists are indeed unable to find, for example, a nice basic cashmere scarf.
Double ew. What is with this trend? Grown women should not wear anything approximating a rainbow.
Since they're leaving town, I'm pretty much not even paying attention to Shawn and Belle anymore. Will the reason they leave Salem be related to the fact that Shawn, with his latest aggravated assault, has a criminal record longer than anyone he would ever arrest if he actually became a cop?
Talk about your Irish tempers. I feel like the only things Shawn has done in the last few years is moon over Belle and beat people up. How I'll miss this diverse and deep character.
Much to my surprise (both because of my longtime aversion to the Greek system, and because I had been convinced Days couldn't write for anyone under 30), I thought the sorority scenes this week were pretty good.
I like that Chelsea, given her history, is the one in this situation urging them to go to the police. But I also like that it's tough to tell what the right course of action for the girls is. Good traditional soapy push-pull!
Chelsea finally coming clean to Mr. Decker, especially Steve and Kayla's reactions, was also great. But I continue to be distracted in all scenes with Ford's dad by trying to figure out where the hell I know that actor from. Anyone? I hope it's not something embarrassing, like What About Brian?.
Much as I was opposed to yet another baby story, Steve and Kayla trying to get pregnant is kind of adorable. Mary Beth Evans and Stephen Nichols appear to be drinking from the same fountain of youth as Debbi Morgan, and they just ooze chemistry.
Caroline walking in on them like guilty teenagers was too funny (especially because Peggy McCay is more able lately to express emotion, if you know what I mean), although, nitpick, why the hell are they still living in a hotel?
Anyway, the scenes of the week had to be Stephanie and Kayla telling Steve about the rape. (Though did it have to be at the Brady Pub, in the middle of the lunch rush? Are we going to have sex scenes at Salem Place next?)
Steve/Stephen made me well up! At Days of Our Lives!
And not from laughing at unintentional comedy. It truly is a new Days.
Countdown to Dena Higley effing up the whole shebang . . . .
Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.