How Do You Solve a Problem Like Mari[n]a?
There are, to my knowledge, at least eight things wrong with the wacky "Amber schemes to win the Fresh Face of Jabot contest by disguising herself" storyline Y&R has going on
- It features Amber in a starring role
- By "fresh", don't they mean fresh-faced and young and adorable and not...busted? If possible, Amber-as-Marina is even more busted than Amber in her everyday garb
- Michael Graziadei just got out of storyline hell with the porn addiction and now he's stuck playing second banana to Ambular and that's just unfair
- An angry ex-husband would be able to recognize his gross ex-wife, no matter how many layers of makeup, fake moles and Jersey mob wives wigs she wears. I know Cane is a little bit slow at times, but he's no Ricky Ricardo (granted, he was also shady for a few minutes and the writers threw that by the wayside, so maybe he got some sort of mental defect out of nowhere)
- Lily would be able to recognize her mortal enemy in any given situation, no matter how many layers of makeup, fake moles and Jersey mob wives wigs she wears. That's what being mortal enemies with someone is! First rule of fight club!
- A schemer like Amber would try to make her alias at least somewhat different than she is, to keep up the illusion of them being different people, which means that her alias would not also want to be a musician/designer, because that's suspicious
- A schemer like Amber would have already created an elaborate backstory for her alias and wouldn't get tripped up on questions like "Where are you from?"
- Someone who claims to want a career in design would under no circumstances, disguise or not, wear a wig clearly cribbed from an extra in an episode of The Sopranos.
That's just off the type of my head and does not include the most glaringly obvious reason why this entire storyline is a debacle: Amber Moore is a terrible character who does not belong on The Young and the Restless. Especially if the writers aren't going to embrace the personality traits (or defects) that make Amber Amber. And if we're going by lines like this:
Kay: Frankly, I'm more concerned about Amber.
Jill: Why Amber?
Kay: She's still head over heels in love with your son.
Jill: Well, after what she did to him, I couldn't care less if little Amber gets her heart broken. What is this thing with you and Amber?
Kay: For all her bravado, I think that my Amber is far more naive than your Lily.
...it seems like the writers most certainly are not going to embrace the characteristics that make Amber Amber.
(And I don't like saying this but it's necessary in this situation: Shut up, Kay. What next, discussing how sweet and well-adjusted that Amy Winehouse is?)
I have only seen a few episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful and I am by no means an expert in B&B history, but I've read quite a bit about Amber when she was on that show, having babies with Usher or whatever and the character was married twice, passed her cousin's baby off as her own, had two stillborn children, became a drug addict, tried to trap people in a mine (?) to prove that they were bad (??), and I'm assuming other skankery was involved because, you know, it's Amber. Girl looks like she just walked off of a Warrant video.
I'm not seeing naive. I'm seeing someone vaguely skanky who schemes a lot and who possibly wants to do the right thing (I don't know for sure, but she reads like a Sarah Brown era Carly, sort of, who does stupid, immoral shit, but you know why she does), but I don't see naive.
And not only that, but when she made her way to Genoa City, we promptly saw her lust after Cane's money and get him drunk so that he'd black out and not remember that he didn't marry her and learned that she had a porn site with some girl from As the World Turns. Still not seeing naive.
I am all for a soap schemer (<3MaxieJones<3) and I'd find it much easier to root for Amber if the show embraced the fact that she schemes and is sort of unsavory; the aforementioned Sarah Brown era Carly was one of my favorite soap characters back in the day. It's kind of like the way I felt about Phyllis going to jail before--I don't find a character going to jail for something she did to be a martyr or sympathetic, and I don't feel bad for a character who is a habitual liar (and also an asshole) getting called out as a liar. At least, I am assuming that is going to happen at some point in the near future and which I plan to relish. But if it's just going to be "Poor Amber, she's so awesome, why is the entire world so MEAN to Amber? She's committed no crime, no crime but living!"...again...I am over it preemptively.
I just...I don't see the point of her. I never have: what's the point in bringing a character from B&B who had years dealing with Sheila over to Y&R and not having her be part of the Sheila story AT ALL? And why does she get endless stories but Eileen Davidson gets fired? And WHY has no one told her the baby voice is not cute?!