Days of Our Lives Week in Review
Sweeps went out with a bit of whimper on Days last week, but it was still some pretty good soap. In a week of overall non-outrageousness, though, there were some outrageous happenings.
How outrageously excessive has Deidre Hall's 2008 screentime been? Enough with Marlena-palooza! If I have to sit through another week with Marlena on every day, my soul might react thusly:
But whatever. They're back in Salem, so Marlena can't possibly be on every damned day anymore, right?
I was all prepared to be extra-traumatized this week by a John and Marlena sex scene (I occasionally read my Soap Opera Digest, you know!), but it turned out it was just them making out a little bit. Regular readers know I have been traumatized on the regular by these two getting it on, but somehow with the cheesy soundtrack covering up any overly dramatic moaning, and the absolute non-smurfiness of John's mad woo-ing skills made it okay this time. I mean, this was freaking hilarious:
Marlena: ...You're not here.
John: Well, maybe my mind isn't. But my body sure as hell is. So just take what you can get.
Hee. Are you swooning yet, Doc?
And then, when she decided to take what she could get, right before they got down to business, this:
John: Brace yourself.
Haaa! Robotic dickhead John never ceases to amuse. (Marlena did later use my most despised soap phrase, "making love," but I can't rant about that without access to lots of alcohol. I am, seriously, physically revolted by that phrase.)
Anyway, "Brace yourself" is the new "You complete me." You heard it here first.
How outrageously hideous is this coat?
And how inexplicable it is that Sami hasn't burned it in her tiny apartment's gigantic fireplace yet?
How outrageously well-stocked was John's private jet? It had on board (all of which survived the supposedly devastating crash): a defibrillator, multiple pup tents, and many packaged meals. I love that the saboteur thought of everything, except removing the survival supplies.
The pup tents did lead to Phillip shirtless, though, so I'm not mad at them.
How outrageously gorgeous and charming is Leann Hunley, even in a mud mask?
More Tony and Anna, please.
After having totally come around to them as a couple because of the
actors' chemistry, I was outrageously squicked out by Stephanie and Max
being worried about their family on the plane. Because, you know, it's
the same family.
Max worried about his dad, who is Stephanie's grandfather, and Stephanie worried about her mom, who is Max's sister -- among many other inter-relations! -- was so wrong.
But they're still cute. I'll get over my outrage by next week. I'm a slave to chemistry.
Is Tamara Braun's Ava going to have been romantically involved with Steve? Outrageous!
She looks like she's 25! I realize it's difficult to remember, because he still looks like he's in his 30s,
but Stephen Nichols is 57 (!!!) years old. Please let her be his long-lost daughter, or something. Maybe a love interest for EJ?
Oh, and substance aside, Ava's note was terrifying based purely on its outrageously bad handwriting
which is also suspiciously male-ish. Oooh, maybe she's transsexual! Now that would be a soapy twist.
The most outrageous moment of the week for me was Caroline's family standing around stammering
like assholes as survivor after survivor filed in to University Hospital and none of them had the decency to tell her her husband was dead. She was talking about
looking forward to seeing him, and none of them stepped in to tell her what had happened. For like, many, many minutes!
I swear, the point at which it looked like effing Marlena was going to be the one to tell Caroline about Shawn, I had heavy objects primed and ready to hurl at the TV.
But then she didn't.
So Caroline found out when they wheeled Shawn's corpse into the hospital! What the hell is wrong with this show? Are the writers hanging out with Bob Guza?!
So disturbing. RIP, Shawn Sr. I still don't get why you took that good oxygen mask with you, and it looks like you all would have survived that totally unsurvivable plane crash anyway, but at least you didn't have to sleep in a pup tent and listen to Marlena and John have sex.
Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.