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« One Million Strong! | Main | Charm! Chapters 1-4 »

February 10, 2008

General Hospital Couple of Weeks in Review: As Usual, I Have Questions

At first there were scheduling issues, but now I'm just plain uninspired to write a Week in Review for GH, guys.  I'm not sure why.  The show hasn't been awful, and there have been some great moments.  Just nothing all that commentary-worthy, you know?  (Plus, truth be told, I was more interested in 90s episodes SoapNet showed today -- recaps coming to a blog near you.)  So instead, I bring you my latest list of questions.

  • How entertainingly soapy is the ongoing Monica/Tracy catfight?  I heart it.  Tracy being all fierce and defiant, Monica calling Tracy a "litigious cow."  Glorious.
  • Why is the Logan/Lulu/Johnny triangle so boring, when it involves such pretty people?
  • Am I seriously supposed to care about Leyla and Dr. Devlin flirting?
  • Is Patrick the dumbest neurosurgeon on earth?  Robin told him she's pregnant.  He knows they had sex a few weeks back and the condom broke.  And he doesn't suspect he might be a daddy-to-be?  This is a guy I'm supposed to believe fixes broken brains?  It's a good thing he's hot enough to distract me from this obvious story gap.
  • Why hasn't Kimberly McCullough shanked the last three stylists who have come near her bangs?  I hate online petitions, but I am thisclose to starting one to implore her to grow those suckers out.
  • How refreshingly nice and mature was it that Liz didn't tell Lucky the truth about Sam out of vengeance, and told him she was happy he was happy?
  • How much hotness did Ingo's haircut restore? 
  • Why did Sonny tell Kate to "get on a plane" and go back to Manhattan?  I thought it was a quick drive or helicopter ride?
  • How much do I want a spin-off of Kate, Alexis, and Diane just hanging out together, being fabulous?
  • How inhumanly gorgeous is Greg Vaughn?
  • How delightful is it that the new writers remembered that Alexis and Sam are mother and daughter, and gave them scenes together?
  • How much ass does tiny little Kelly Monaco kick?  Those scenes with her and the Text Message Killer were seriously impressive, not least because she appeared to be in five-inch heels.
  • How the hell did Carly get pregnant so easily?  Is there anything she wants that she doesn't get?  Please tell me she's lying.
  • How fun was Carly meeting Claudia?
  • Why did Lucky have virtually no reaction to Lulu knowing about Jake's paternity?  It was a total betrayal!  Maybe he was busily pondering his gorgeousness and forgot to get enraged.
  • Why did Carly stop wearing hideous outfits, thereby depriving me of some of my best GH mockery opportunities?
  • How much do I love Jax?

Jax: What is wrong with you?  Why are you so angry?
Carly:  Because I don't like that woman!
Jax: You don't like any women.

Oh snap, Jasper.

  • Did Patrick move yet another step closer to the permanent restoration of his hotly modifier when he defended Robin to Ian?
  • How surprisingly easy has it been to accept Sarah Brown as a totally different character?
  • Why am I so completely repelled by a story involving Rick Hearst, whom I love, as Ric Lansing, who I've recently learned to tolerate again?  And how uncreative is it to just send him off to a random location for an extended booty call?  Ugh.
  • If you took a shot every time DeadEmily told Nikolas "You would never hurt me," would you already be dead from alcohol poisoning?
  • Has this show really sunk to the level of pimping even non-ABC products?

Epiphany:  You are not a shrink.  You're an orderly.
Cassius:  And now you're soldiering on.
Epiphany:  That means you take your orders from me.
Cassius:  Which is why I have to drink my V8 Fusion so I can keep up with you.

For god's sake.  You'll excuse me if I have to drink my Grey Goose so I can get through this show.

And most importantly, did you feel a little disappointed when you heard that the writers' strike is over, knowing that some of the improvements we've seen on GH in recent weeks are likely to disappear faster than a nice scotch in the vicinity of Luke Spencer?


Oh, and I forgot to mention.

1) I hate the writers for "giving" RH a story, and making it suck so damn badly. Whatever, he'll still probably get (and earn) an Emmy for it.

2) I am actually really enjoying Sarah Brown as Claudia. I did not expect to.

1 + 2 = How about Ric/Claudia? Now that'd be fun to watch.

Becca, you mind reader you! What you said! LOVE Tracy/Monica. Logan, the underdog, needs a break! That scene with him and Lulu where she was so mean to him I wanted to slug her. Dr. Devilin looks like a skeevy, slimy used car salesman (no disrespect to car salesmen) and he is SO unattractive that I wonder if Libidozone from AMC got in the water at the hospital. I like Liz. So sue me. Kate/Alexis/Diane are da bomb! I really want Diane to get a love life -- she would be hot with -- let's see -- Ric? Why not? Or how bout Mac? The new actress playing the extremely forgettable part of that waitress is terrible with Ric. I liked the first one better, but that's not saying much. Can that story be any more contrived?? I like Kate and Jax together. I hate the new incantation of Carly. She is way too one-note. I think they made her preggers so fast cuz they plan something between her and poor Robin since they will be preggy at the same time....(shudder uncontrollably). I used to like the Carly character -- now I just want her GONE. Lulu is just as bad. Why the H*LL do we have to see Lulu and Carly every day? What is the attraction? Show more Maxie. She at least is interesting. And if Carly tries to de-ball Jax one more time, I'm gonna slug her too! Jax, grow a pair, please! Obviously, there are lots of fans who are the opposite of me, who actually LIKE Carly, Lulu, Dr. Devilin, Sonny and bangs. Go figure.

Is Doctor Devlin the guy that Jerry keeps talking to (Mr. M)? He sounds like it but I guess he's too scrawny. Lulu's character is boring. I don't think that they should have her dating. She hasn't clicked with anyone. I can't stop laughing/shuddering in disbelief about the boys that Psycho Michael bought the gun from. Is Michael going to shoot Carly? I can't stand Robin anymore. She's whiny. Am LOVING Maxie! Will miss her interaction with Georgie though. And how can they pair up Alexis with Jerry/Mr. Craig? Didn't he poison her only nephew? And my favorite today was Sonny with a duh looking complaining to Jason on the phone that he (Jason) was paying more attention to his personal business than "the business" Sonny is loosing that leading man appeal. Last complaint -really - are they ever going to change the montage in the beginning?

I have been loving me my Lucky lately but I know everyone is right..Guza's job one is so going to be find some way to make the Zaccara's finding out about Jake Lucky's fault and not say Jason's for leaving the kid's picture in known mobster haunts.....

"If you took a shot every time DeadEmily told Nikolas "You would never hurt me," would you already be dead from alcohol poisoning? "

The bigger question is, would you be as happy to be dead as DeadEm is?

But V8 Fusion is soooooo good! Which is more than I can say for GH.

OLTL has been pimping orange juice for a while, but it's more tradtional product placement where everyone just drinks a lot of orange juice and there's a little "Promotional consideration by the Florida Orange Juice Association (or whatever)" in the credits, but they aren't being total whores. That I can totally tolerate. I must say, though, that it is fun to crack about the whole thing.

I have an answer to your question about Lucky not being more mad at Lulu Becca...he was probably darn shocked she stopped talking about herself long enough to realize he had just been through something.

I know I was.

SOW: Sonny aside, you're in the middle of a pretty hot story right now. What was your reaction when the writers rekindled things between Elizabeth and Jason?

SB: When they shook everything upside down it was definitely a surprise. But I didn't think it was so far out of the blue, because Jason and Elizabeth do have a past. As much as people may not have wanted all of that to go down, Sam sleeping with Ric and Jason sleeping with Elizabeth, the whole thing has provided good fallout story.

What was the fan mail like after that?

SB: In the beginning everybody got a lot of heat. Kelly did, Becky did and I did for pushing Sam away and for taking my shirt off with Elizabeth and not Sam.
That was the worst offense of all

SB: People have all these ideas why I do and I don't take my shirt off. I've heard the craziest things. "He likes Becky better because he took his shirt off with her."- "His wife's more comfortable with Becky" - "He's a Christian". Yes I'm a Christian. But saying I wouldn't take my shirt off for religious reasons when I'm playing a hit man --is that not a double standard?". It just makes me laugh. Quite truthfully, I'm a perfectionist. If it's not perfect, it ain't coming off. And I like to eat.

SOW: So what prompted the bare chest?

SB: How it all went down was, I was going on vacation so I started working with a nutritionist and I was getting in shape. Then I had to shoot a portfolio (to try to land) an endorsement agent. I said, "Okay. I'll take it a step further and try to get into the best shape I've been in for these pictures." It turned out my scene with Becky happened then too. I said "I haven't taken my shirt off in a while, and I feel good. I'm in shape; I'm going to do it". So that's how the whole shirtless thing went down. I said "Now is the time. Not in three months when it's October and I'm eating brownies and cookies all day. As soon as football starts, you guys are dead in the water"

SOD: Of course, this development hasn't made the Jasam or LL2 fans happy.

Burton: Yeah, they are a little upset. I don't blame them. If I was watching a show and I really dug a couple or relationship and it didn't happen, I'd be like "What"?. I understand Jason and Sam had a great relationship. Kelly and I don't write the show, so we didn't choose which way it went. I get people's frustrations. I've yelled at the TV one or two times myself, too.

Herbst: And they are vocal, too. If you're a Sam fan, clearly you just don't like Elizabeth. But I've noticed the Liz/Lucky fans, a lot of them are not as opposed to her being with Jason, while the Sam fans are very opposed to him being with her. Maybe it's because they know Lucky will always be her first love. She will never be able to replace him with anybody else. They're a little more forgiving, but I'm so impressed with how supportive and involved everyone has been.

SOD: since they have to meet in secret, is there hope for this couple?

Herbst: I think it adds a nice element to the monotonous boyfriend/girlfriend story. It almost keeps the relationship innocent and true and nothing can taint it because nobody knows.

Burton: The secrecy aspect is cool. Once you're a happy family, she's folding laundry while he's cleaning his gun watching football. This way, she can have her life, he can have his and they can have their own together.

what you guys think

Loved all your comments and questions. I totally agree with the Kelly Monaco kiss ass scene. She's extremely athletic and did a remarkable job of making this scene totally believable. I think she's a great actress anyway. Whenever this girl gets a tear in her eye or bites her lower lip to keep from crying, I'm right with her. Kelly Monaco and Greg Vaughn together are so much gorgeousness...it's like..."my eyes, my eyes"...every single time. Why is it that I NEVER paid a bit of attention to Greg Vaughn before his scenes with Kelly Monaco? He was good looking, and that was it. He has come alive on gh now, and I'm loving it. Kelly always entertained me. She's got a lot of charisma and acting ability.

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