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« Robin-athon! | Main | The Young and the Reszzzzz... »

February 06, 2008

I Wish Amnesia Was Contagious

I am jealous of Ryan Lavery for a multitude of reasons. Topping the list is, of course, envy that I don't have a parade of sycophants around town with no real purpose besides broadcasting the extent of my awesomeness to the rest of the world. Also, I think it would be fun to be the highly paid CEO of a multi-billion corporation just because someone (who later turned out to be a serial killer, but whatev) thought I was cool.

But lately, I'm most jealous of his memory loss.

This is not to say that this storyline is anything besides hopelessly cliche and terrible. Because, really, the way I see it is that this is basically the writers being all, "You want a story that makes medical sense? Or something that at least doesn't flout the laws of physics and common sense? Well, write your own soap, then, suckers, because you're in our world now". Ryan got shot in the head, except it wasn't so much shot as it was grazed. And this grazing is not serious enough for him to require more than an overnight hospitalization, but at the same time, it's severe enough that it wiped out the last four years of his life. What? What does that even mean? How creatively bankrupt are these people? What does it say about me that I am obsessing over this and barely bat an eyelash anymore about the aborted fetus? And what's with ripping off Nick Newman's momentary amnesia on The Young and the Restless? Who rips off LML era Y&R? Are we due for a thrilling tale about foiling Nazis in Pine Valley?

But the more I think about Ryan having 4-year amnesia, the more I want it for myself. Specifically, a kind of amnesia that wipes out years of this show. Because not having some of this crap in my memory bank sounds divine. I'd like to go back farther than four years, though. Maybe I could forget everything after Leo died. That would be cool. I'd lose Zach and Kendall's brilliance and the awesomeness of Amanda, but the Careys wouldn't exist, let alone be the reason for my high blood pressure. Tad wouldn't be a killer. Dixie would be presumed dead after a car crash, not after eating poisoned pancakes. There would be no Ava...no Jonathan Lavery...no Zarf! Amnesia would rule!

That's a roundabout way of saying that this show is terrible and that I'd dump it in a heartbeat if it weren't for their cunning decision to bring back Debbi Morgan and Darnell Williams.

I talk a big game, all "Oh, so this is how it's going to be? You're going to use keep this whole 'ADAM IS THE MOST EVIL PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF EVER' story going? And you're going to ruin the awesome Richie by having him pine over BABE and emotionally manipulate a five year old? We're done. DONE" and then I see Tad and Jesse come face to face and talk and be awesome I'm all "When is it going to be 1:00 tomorrow? I want to see the next episode nooooow".

I'm pretty much a sucker.

Debbi Morgan and Darnell Williams are fantastic and their presence (especially Debbi's) raises the game of everybody around them and it lulls me into a false sense of security. If their scenes are so good, it distracts me from how terrible the rest of the show is until I reflect upon it later and I'm like, "Did Angie really have to watch Greenlee wake up and not her own son? The hell?" and get cranky and curse Barbara Esensten and James Harmon Brown for their commitment to suckage.

How committed are they? Let's make a list of recent occurrences:

  • The aforementioned amnesia that brings Ryan back to the time when he was in love with Kendall. Gag me with a spoon. I remember how Ryan and Kendall's relationship went down--his refusal to believe that Greenlee was out to steal him from Kendall, the emotional abuse, the calling her a "soulless cancer" and blaming her for Bianca's rape. I have no desire to be reminded of that time.
  • The aforementioned "Angie watches Greenlee wake up, but isn't there for her own son". It's kind of hard to argue with the perception that the REAL Greenlee's return is the focal point of the show when stuff like that goes down
  • Charm Exclamation Point has a huge number of fans at its launch party...that is taking place, like, four weeks after she wrote the book while dealing with a missing husband and ill children. O...kay.*
  • Greenlee compared Ryan and Kendall to Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler meets Bonnie and Clyde. What the hell does that even mean?
  • [Sentence where I rant about Krystal and Tad's insane hatred of Adam and the truly below the belt way they use his children against him, railing against his evilness while sitting atop a moral high horse in a glass house redacted because I rant about this nonstop and it's making me feel like a crazy]
  • Kendall said, of Greens, "Yeah, we'll always be friends -- when we're not trying to kill each other." Or when one of them isn't trying to get custody of the other's child. Or when one of them isn't trying to steal the other's child. We're totally just going to look the other way on that debacle, aren't we?
  • The second Greenlee mentioned how she and Ryan were like a superhero and the superhero's sidekick, I got PTSD flashbacks of Dynamite Kiddo and Green Butterfly and found myself rocking quietly in my corner, sobbing.

And yet, I know that I am going to be watching every day to see Angie and Jesse reunite. Because I am a sucker! Damn you, AMC.

*Keep an eye out for an upcoming Charm Exclamation Point feature here at Serial Drama. I'll be recapping it for you, chapter by chapter as soon as my copy arrives in the mail. I am such a good person.

Comments

You are such a good person and I'm really looking forward to the book recap. Now I'm off to watch those YouTube links because I really cannot bring myself to watch any of this show any more, not even for "how bad can this possibly get?" testing purposes.

I'm a sucker too cause i just watched those clips and I TEARED UP!!!

You know what scares me right now? I'm making bargains with AMC. "I'll watch Rylee, complete with Dynamite Kiddo references, if you just get Greenlee away from Zach RIGHT NOW."

Because watching Zach listen to Greenlee's version of Why Kendall Deserved to Lose Ryan with a serious look on his face gave me a case of the shakes.

And then I'll watch Debbie Morgan and all will be right with the AMC world. Except, one question: were Tad and Jesse actually friends? I thought Jesse had no use for Tad because of Jenny.

You know, Angie is wonderful (and absolutely gorgeous) and I agree, she makes everyone's elses acting look good in the scenes she's in. Everytime she says something nostalgic and tears up, i just want to bawl like a baby!

Must admit that I didn't watch for a few weeks because of the Real Greenlee ad campaign (TPTB were so wrong) but was tempted again b/c of Angie. I caught the 2/1 epi where Greenlee had the out of body experience...Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, they do! I think the writing is horrible. And as much as I like Rebecca Budig, she now seems so out of place and I'm missing Sabine in the role. Yeah, I know everyone's so into Rebecca's return, but I was just so appalled at the REAL ad campaign all I see is the bad writing.

I've read a few msg boards where everyone is just raving about how good AMC is right now and I'm wondering if I'm crazy b/c I don't see it or if they're crazy b/c they think it's so good.

Am so in agreement with you about Abuser "I AM THAT MONSTER" Ryan...he was horrendous to Kendall, and then to Greenlee. All of the examples of his behavior you mentioned above are why I've never been totally committed to liking the character. Everyone thinks he's such a hero but I can't get past him throwing Greenlee against the wall and almost punching Kendall in the mouth.

I am right with you on this one. Everything right now sucks, EXCEPT Debbi Morgan and Darnell Williams. I can't remember the last time I shed a tear while watching AMC, but I have several times in the last couple of weeks because of these two. Thank God for them. If the show is being saved, it's because of them, not really because of Rebecca Budig.

I haven't watched AMC since last April when both Bianca and Zoe left. Absolutely loved those two. I know Jeffrey has moved on to other things, but I keep hearing rumors that Eden is coming back. Hope it's true.

I keep up with the spoilers, and right now, nothing I see would want to bring me back to this show. Everyone keeps saying Angie and Jesse are fantastic, but other than that, the show sucks right now!!! I saw Rebecca for a little bit when she came back, but even that bored me after a little while. Still don't like what they did to Sabine. This "real" Greenlee crap was nauseating to say the least.

When Eden returns, I'll start watching again, but until then, my TV set will remain blank at 1PM.

I'm loving this show these days. Loving the pacing. Loving the soapy drama of it all. Loving the return of great characters.

Maybe my standards have dropped because of the crap that is GH. Or was since I haven't watched since I can't remember what the last straw was.

Slinking away now...with a big grin on my face as I eagerly await more flashbacks and Annie being dissed.

Mallory, this Lavery-like amnesia you wish you had is pretty much what it's like for me coming into AMC as a relative newbie. My only prior point of references are the iconic characters from the 80's and the great Leo and Greenlee period. Basically, I started watching again for Debbie and Darnell...and so far, those little moments have been pretty soapy. Everything else, I don't watch. In today's soap opera landscape, I need to preserve my sanity. Denial is a soap viewer's best friend.

Are we due for a thrilling tale about foiling Nazis in Pine Valley?

Mallory, I hate to break it to you, but AMC has both been there and done that. It was the 80's and his name was Lars Bogardt.

I actually like the Ryan-Kendall semi-reunion. You have to remember that this was before he became an asshole to her and married a woman he had to grow to love, then jump off a cliff to leave her. When Ryan and Kendall were good, they were some of the best scenes on AMC.

Can't leave without a shoutout to my homies Angie and Jesse. It's nice to see some representation of both blacks and good acting on a piss-poor soap.

"I actually like the Ryan-Kendall semi-reunion. You have to remember that this was before he became an asshole to her and married a woman he had to grow to love, then jump off a cliff to leave her."

Wasn't Ryan a pretty annoying ass during the Cambias trial, though? Demanding to know everything, refusing to believe that Greenlee was going after him when she totally was, etc.? I think pretty much all of 2004 was the Year of Asshat Ryan. That might be a mileages varying thing, though.

Yes, LOVING the Jesse and Angie story. LOVED when Tad first saw him. I thought the same thing about not being able to wait for the next episode and then thought, "Damn, when was the last time I couldn't wait for the next episode of any of these shows?" The answer was- too long. I can't wait for the reunion. But there is this little voice in the back of my head worrying that there is going to be a REALLY DUMB reason Jesse stayed away and then something else REALLY DUMB will happen and it will ruin my whole payoff. I guess my little vioce has been watching this show for a while...

Yes, LOVING the Jesse and Angie story. LOVED when Tad first saw him. I thought the same thing about not being able to wait for the next episode and then thought, "Damn, when was the last time I couldn't wait for the next episode of any of these shows?" The answer was- too long. I can't wait for the reunion. But there is this little voice in the back of my head worrying that there is going to be a REALLY DUMB reason Jesse stayed away and then something else REALLY DUMB will happen and it will ruin my whole payoff. I guess my little voice has been watching this show for a while...

Jessie and Angie are the *only* reasons to watch for me...but they're worth it for now.

Since I can't abide either Greenlee or Kendall....Meh. Who cares.

Telaryn, yikes! I am so glad that I didn't know AMC had already gone to the Nazi realm. Was it horrible, or was the show good enough than that you were able to overlook it?

And lurk, your bargaining makes sense. I don't know how long I'll be able to handle Zach and Greenlee being BFFs. I am assuming that Thorsten Kaye must be as awesome off screen as he is on screen, because so many AMC actresses want to work with him, but I am going to selfishly hope for him to dial back on the awesome if this is leading to a story on par with the horrible Zach/Dixie connection. Come on, Thorsten, do it for us!

The only thing I would really miss with the amnesia until 2004 would be Zach and Kendall but if I get to watch them fall in love all over again, then I'm ok with it. Because I will NOT watch Ryan and Kendall again, especially if it means that Greenlee has... I can't even say it. Rylee can happen and they can ride off together in the sunset and that's good with me. I want Greenlee as far away from Zach AND Kendall as possible, especially after that "sore loser" comment.

You write everything I think! Thanks for making my life easier lol.
I am enjoying Angie and Jesse, but they're not enough for me. I've missed the show two days running and didn't mind it one bit. Losing Brooke was even more serious to me than I knew at the time. Until she returns I doubt I'll ever become fully invested in AMC again.
And here we go again, with another Ryan-centric storyline, with the same players. I despise the character, completely. I daydream about how they could get rid of him. I'm obsessed, and not in a good way. Hate all things Lavery and I don't see that changing. And I'm not too crazy about Greenlee either...
The Careys need the boot, Tad and Adam need shock treatment to recover from the schlock they've been given since those women rolled into town.
BTW - the Nazi storyline was really pretty good! It involved Daisy Courtlandt - now THAT was a woman!! and Erica too.

I agree with all of the above.

And I wonder how long Angie and Jessie
can carry this before it collapses in
a pile of poison pancakes.

CAN'T STAND the Careys and I STILL miss
Dr Dave, Brooke and the old Dixie.

Hopefully before Jonathan exits, he will
also have a 4 year flashblack and blow
The Comeback sky high with the Careys in it

What a great blog. I love your sense of humor while hitting it right on the head with your commentary. I, too, should have walked away from this show a long time ago, but just can't. I keep hoping for some miracle to bring the REAL AMC back to us.

http://allmychildren.about.com/library/yearsinreview/blyir1983.htm

Not at all sure how to make it into a tag.

I don't know about the quality of the Nazi story back then vs. what we have to put up with today. I think the main reason I remember it being a trainwreck was that back in 1983 we just weren't used to expecting that level of camp from AMC.

This was before Eterna and time travel had hit ABC -- and definitely before Casey the Alien. The most over the top thing we'd ever had to deal with up to that point was the Ice Princess.

As a result, I distinctly remember the revelation of Lars big secret provoking an "oh, come on now!"

Sadly Ryan's amnesia can't spread to the writers so they can forget the last four years as well. I loved the blog and you hit the nail right on the head.
I adore the Angie/Jesse/Frankie/Tad/Opal scenes but if they think they can get away with a little here or there it's just not going to work! I look forward to seeing these characters but there's so much dreck to get through that my FF button's going to wear out.

Well, put me on that list, too, because I can't quit. But my obsession is the Zach & Kendall one, altho' they're fast becoming unrecognizable, since being thrown under the Greenlee redemption bus, which rolls merrily
along. I only watch for my beloved Zendall & it seems they are trying to tear them asunder for no good reason except to play musical partners. Ouch. Ryan is so laughable now that he is cartoonish. Why oh
why can't these writers see what they're doing? Can't it be that hard?

thanks , but i hate everythin LAVERY, and will never watch kendall with this verbal abuser,EVER AGAIN that he is , why they would even think people would watch her with ryan over the SEXY MR.SLATER is wack........and that is a fact........there is only one ZACH SLATER.........and that'S all I NEED........go zendall............TEAM SLATER ALL THE WAY,............

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