The Young and the Reszzzzz...
Despite having seen Sixteen Candles upwards of twenty times and being able recite the script word for word, I still seriously contemplated watching it in edited form on VH1 this evening instead of watching The Young and the Restless on SOAPNet.
In my defense, Sixteen Candles has a pre-armpit fetish and dickishness John Cusack, repeated usage of the phrase "oily bohunk" and, of course, Jake Ryan<33 and Y&R has...Gloria, Amber and JT and Victoria. Endless JT and Victoria.
It's not even that Y&R is bad. It's not good, exactly, but it's not an ABC soap, which means that it's practically mediocre and, therefore, a step up in quality from most of the stuff I watch. It just feels like NOTHING happens and whatever does happen goes on for forever and isn't entertaining at all and it doesn't even make sens and it's all very confusing to me. So I have a few questions...
The woman just got out of her coma and she's all out and about, rushing around to get hitched. What the hell is wrong with the Newman family? Between this and Nick going back to work immediately after "dying" and getting temporary amnesia, I am beginning to wonder. I know the official party line is that JT and Victoria want to live life to the fullest and not spend another moment apart, or whatever, but what the hell? It takes me longer than that to recover from a head cold.
Is the budget situation so dire that they couldn't spring for a few more extras? There are always more people in line at the DMV than there were at that wedding. Shouldn't the Newman heiress have some people at her nuptials? This wedding was even more pathetic than her wedding to Brad which, when one considers that her maid of honor was embroiled in an emotional affair with the groom, is saying something.
It's totally just me, isn't it?
It seems like Neil always gets these promotions and accolades and then Victor takes them back. I don't know, there comes a time when I think I'd be like "You know what, I'm good. I don't need to be CEO. I'll just keep this high paying job and enjoy the peace that comes with not being jerked around by your whims".
My feelings on Noah Newman are well documented, but the boy demonstrated some heretofore unseen smarts today when he called Abby to get her advice on how to boot Gloria the hell out of his house. You can say a lot of things about Abby, like that she's creepily robotic, but you can't deny that the girl has the power to give people hell. Remember when she gave Brad and Victoria death glare? If you can't do something yourself, you obviously go to a potentially demonic child to help you do it.
Noah: So I was hoping you'd be here, Abby. I really need your help. There's this witch living with us. She's a total monster. Yeah, and I need to figure out a way to get rid of her. Throw water on her and see if she melts? That's a stupid idea. I didn't mean she was really a witch. It's just a figure of speech. How do I know she's not a real witch? Well, because she's a real person, and Mom and Jack hate her, and I need to figure out a real way to get rid of her. Abby, you are so not helping right now.
He may have written off her plan as stupid, but I think there's some potential there. Can you imagine what would happen to Gloria's wardrobe if it was doused in water?
(I also think she was just bored to here from him and fed him a BS plan just to get him off the phone, because wouldn't you do the same thing? How sad is it that I'm imagining off screen motivation of characters and that my off screen imagined character motivation is way better than anything on screen?)
Seriously, the man started out at a ridiculous level of dreaminess and it seems like he gets more and more handsome every day. He needs to be studied by scientists.
The fact that they are mentioning Hope and her need for specialists is not a good sign and if they do this just to kill her off, it will be short-sighted and downright Guza of them. Surely there has to be a better way to introduce Victor Junior to the show.
Because when he says things like "lame-brained, half-witted, low-functioning caper", it reminds me how much I adore him and then I remember that he's done all sorts of unethical and downright stupid things in the name of protecting his vile mother and I get sad. She doesn't deserve such a hilarious son!
Kevin: It's enough to tell you not to give up. Like this-- Jana would totally wear this.
Amber: You know, I think she would. And I think she'd look really good in it, too.
Are MURDERERS the hot new judges of fashion? When I go shopping, should I ask myself, "Would Squeaky Fromme wear this?"