GH Couple of Weeks in Review: The I Don't Care Edition
I have been a bad General Hospital blogger. I know this. But I cannot bring myself to care about this show right now. It's so terrible. Terribly violent, terribly predictable, terribly monotonous, terribly nonsensical, and most of all terribly boring. The things I could not possibly care less about outnumber the entertaining things by easily about ten to one. The things I do not care to see anything more about include, but are no means limited to:
- Michael being kidnapped
- Carly being upset that Michael has been kidnapped
- Sonny's weirdly detached reaction to Michael having been kidnapped
- Ric playing dress-up-the-abused-Barbie with Marianna
- Campbell's soup
- Epiphany's Campell's-sponsored heart disease support group
- Lucky once again being shot/victimized
- Jason once again saving the day
- Diego's amazing HVAC skills
- tiny Kelly Monaco being thrown around some more by a guy two times her size
- Emily being brutally killed, AGAIN
So what does that leave? Almost nothing. (You'll still click through for the rest though, won't you? I need reader encouragement to get me through this challenging time.)
A few things didn't suck:
- Maxie and Spinelli. Mallory and I turned the corner on Maxie last year, upgrading her from one of the worst characters in daytime to one of our favorites. And now it turns out she has the same remarkable ability Kate has, to make an otherwise unbearable guy almost adorable. I like her with Spinelli. I can't believe I just typed that, but I did. On a related note, shut up, Lulu. God.
- Claudia continues to be a little intriguing, when she's not pursuing the mighty Corinthos wang. I don't understand why she hates Kate so much, let alone why she would leave her to die in the street. I also don't understand why she wears open-toed shoes in the middle of winter in upstate New York. And I don't understand how in some shots Sarah Brown looks drop-dead gorgeous, while in others she looks vaguely like a dude in a dress. But I suppose soaps are all about mystery and intrigue.
- I still hate Dead/TumorEmily, but since it looks like she's finally on her way to the kind of final death Days viewers are unfamiliar with, she didn't bug me much this week. Tyler Christopher has been doing interesting things with Nikolas and we actually saw some story movement, so on the latter count that's an improvement over at least the last three months or so.
- Unintentional hilarity highlight for me this week was Max, bodyguard to the Port Charles mafia stars, shooting many times at Diego from about three feet away and missing entirely. I so want to see Jason's face when he finds out about that. Steve Burton has mastered the "are you fucking kidding me?" look in a most amusing way.
- Patrick got my gift! I'm reserving judgment on this overall storyline because I'm still virtually certain these writers will eff it up like they love to do, but for now I'm not filled with soap opera rage over the whole thing.
And . . . that's pretty much it. Two weeks in which roughly five things moderately captured my interest. I'm amazed with storytelling like this that it hasn't tumbled in the ratings. Oh. Well, score one for the American viewing public. You still have to make up for the results of at least four seasons of American Idol, but you're coming up in the world.
P.S. Those "special" effects of the car hanging off the bridge are getting their own post. They totally deserve it.
P.P.S. After seeing him on Oprah last week, I am going to track down a Trapper Keeper just so I can write Rick Springfield's name all over it.