I Smell a Catfight!
Remember the scene in Juno where the ultrasound technician was bitchy and Allison Janney's character awesomely read her the riot act and an obviously impressed Juno said, "Bren! You's a dick! I love it!"
I kept replaying that scene in my mind when I saw Annie throw some expert bitchery Greenlee's way. It was awesome! I didn't know she had it in her! It's still true that Richie got the lion's share of brilliance in the Novak family, but Annie's not as hopelessly bland as I thought she was:
You know, you didn't kiss Ryan to help me. You kissed Ryan because he remembers being in love with Kendall, but he doesn't remember being in love with you, and you can't stand it.
Look, look, Ryan might have lost his memory, but I haven't. You came to Pine Valley and you wanted my husband.
Annie: You also wanted Kendall's baby, and you did your damnedest to get him.
Greenlee: All I've done recently is try to help you, so back off.
Annie: What, the way you helped Kendall when she trusted you with her son? How did that work out for you? Oh -- wait, that's right.
!!! She actually referenced the babynapping that the rest of Pine Valley is completely ignoring!
Of course Greenlee, Queen of Bitchcraft, gave it right back to her in her inimitable fashion:
It must be hell to be you. Ryan remembers Kendall, he remembers me -- hell, he remembers the way he likes his toast, but you? Nothing. Maybe because you're not special, maybe because there's nothing about you worth remembering.
That's pretty much a master class in being a snotty witch. I mean, seriously, ice cold! But I expect nothing less from Greens. We're used to self absorbed, condescending heinousness coming from her (I say this with love). I think I give the edge to Annie, just because her fabulosity caught me so off guard and because she's not quite as delusional as Ms. Smythe:
You and Aidan -- as if he would sleep with anyone besides me. I mean, no offense -- you're just not really his type
Dude, the two of you look EXACTLY THE SAME. Kendall even pointed it out to Annie back when SHE hated her.
It kind of makes me sad that Annie's all up in arms over Ryan. Surely there's a better man in Pine Valley who is actually worth the effort.
I am sure this is just the first of many in a long line of scenes where women hate each other because they are competing for the love of Ryan A. Lavery, the world's greatest savior/sexpot/simpleton and we'll probably see this same conversation on a daily basis and I'll get irritated about it in about two days. But as it stands right now, it was kind of fantastic and, sadly, one of the best things to happen on AMC in weeks.