The End Is Nigh
That's right, dear readers, I fear my ability to mercilessly mock GH may be drawing to a close. Because, you see, I am writing this post to praise Steve Burton. I still think that Jason, Hitman/Moral Center of Port Charles, is one of the most storyline-hoarding characters in soap history, and his status as romantic hero on GH is a lot of what is wrong with the show. However, my affection for his portrayer is growing.
My reasons, as with all good reasons, are threefold.
1) He has great follicular self-awareness. From the 3/18 issue of Soap Opera Digest:
I have a Curious George hairline. So, it's truly like a Monchichi, where it goes right across and it really doesn't look good short, short, short.
Hee! Bonus points for combined usage of Curious George
Both of which happen to be spot-on accurate:
You probably know how much effort I have put into chronicling the horrendousness of Mr. Burton's hair-don'ts in recent years, so it actually makes me feel giddy, not to mention less guilty, to know that he is fully aware of the wrongness of his coif.
2) He is not a slave to the soap-hunk stereotype. Unlike virtually every other daytime actor, he admits it's hard work being a pin-up and also chooses not to do said work some of the time. From the same SOD issue:
When summer is coming up, I usually start in April to shed the winter weight. I love to eat, so I basically train all summer, get rid of the winter coat, get back in fighting shape and then, come the first week of football, I start eating anything and everything I want. It's true. You'll see on the show. I get bigger in the winter and I get leaner in the summer.
I like this philosophy. And I officially apologize for thinking his aversion to shirtless scenes was because of his religion. (Although I would like to know if there is such a religion, because I would like a better excuse for refusing to appear in front of people in a bikini than "just because," and I have found that if people throw down the religion card, it is nearly impossible to trump. Except in Footloose. But come on, it was so obviously their time to dance!)
Anyway, back on topic, for the record, even with "the winter coat" I have never thought Steve Burton was fat. What the hell goes on in Los Angeles, man?
3) This video.
(Warning, the audio is terrible.) Reader Sharon sent me that link and
while usually my reaction to soap fan events is much like Matthew
McConaughey's to deodorant, I will make an exception in this case.
Because, as you'll see, Steve Burton thinks GH is ridiculous too! Now
yes, it does appear he's trying quite hard to be funny, but he's
pretty successful, so I'll give him a pass. I especially love his
digs at the awful special effects that his bosses inexplicably continue to pimp. He also admits that basically all he does as Jason is stand around and blink, which is refreshingly candid. (And not entirely accurate, as Jason has had some great moments with Jake, and Spinelli for that matter. Plus, though it pained us to admit it, he was one of the best things about Night Shift.)
So there you go. I know some of you were already disappointed that
I don't hate Jason and Elizabeth together, so feel free to truly hate
me now, but I stand by this opinion: Abject assiness of his character
aside, Steve Burton entertains me.
Screencap courtesy of Clarissa.