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« Days of Our Lives Week in Review: The Recap-iest Version Ever | Main | The Yawn and the Restless »

April 22, 2008

General Hospital Week in Review

I think it's important that we're honest with one another, so let me just tell you:  My General Hospital viewing history is spotty.  Over the last 15 years or so, I've abandoned the show numerous times.  Sometimes for real-life reasons, like college or grad school busy-ness, or work obligations.  But mostly I jumped ship when the show either got really offensive, or really boring.  And if it were not for you people, right now I would have an extra hour in my days.  Because DUDE, this show is boring the crap out of me.  And so is Days, so it's like a soapy conspiracy to inflict insomnia on innocent viewers. 

So since you are the reason I am still watching this show (all of this sounded less accusatory in my head, just so you know), I decided to make this Week in Review participatory so that we can share in the fun.   Yeah, fun.  It's totally fun. 

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I shall quote Little Richard in this context, both because I have a need to be cheesy and because I'm virtually certain he agrees with the underlying point:  Good Golly Miss Molly, Greg Vaughn is freaking GORGEOUS.  Seriously.  Scruffy and casual

Luckybeard

or clean-shaven and formal,

Luckynobeard

the man is fine.

(Please ignore the awful color and hideous styling of Kelly Monaco's hair that is contaminating that screencap.  Why do they hate her?)

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I think it's pretty obvious I'm not a Sonny Corinthos fangirl.  As I type this, I have a post dedicated entirely to his duh faces in draft form.  I don't like the character.  Almost at all.  However, everyone in town blaming Sonny for pushing Kate out of the way of the bullet that ultimately ricocheted and hit Michael?  Is messed up.  Blame Sonny for Michael being in that warehouse, for exposing Michael to the mafia life, for Michael being a creepy little demon spawn, for global warming -- but blaming him for a reflex action of pushing Kate to the ground when he saw a gun, when she was the person closest to him, is ridiculous.

While I'm defending otherwise indefensible characters, I think I was on Carly's side of an argument last week.  I don't even know where to mentally file that information.  Particularly when the person she was arguing with was Jax.  Whom I, you know, sort of unhealthily adore.  But didn't he seem a wee bit insensitive when he guilted Carly into going home to Morgan, and then tried to trick her into staying for dinner?  I get that she needs to understand the reality about Michael, but she's a mother in denial, she's not . . . well, she's not typical asshole Carly.  I thought he was a little hard on her.  I really hate to say that, especially because I'm rooting for these two to divorce ASAP (Come on, estrangement!  I have faith in you!).  I think it's possible the terrible judgment exhibited by virtually every character on this show is absorbing into my brain.  So, set me straight.  Or back me up.  I'm not sure which one I prefer, which is unusual for someone who has an almost pathological need to be right.

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How the hell is Ian driving past the waterfront proof he was involved in Michael's shooting?  Weren't there about five missing steps before jumping to that conclusion was even remotely reasonable?  Every morning I walk past one of those places that sells tofurkey wraps and shots of wheatgrass, and I would hate for anyone to imply my involvement with such horrible things just because of proximity.

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Last week saw the return of the Hitman's Box of Painful Memories and Other People's Offspring.

Jasonblackbox

I tried not to laugh, really I did.  But the carpal tunnel braces just sent me over the edge.

With his separation from Elizabeth in the wake of Michael's shooting and his realization that Jake can never be safe with him as a father, Jason's secret pain appears to have been fully restored.  I swear to god, if he grows out his hair again, I will not be held responsible for my scissor-wielding actions.

It's a shame for many reasons that Jason is going to return to Secret Pain Mode, if that's what's coming.  Steve Burton is at his best when he's outside the Stone Cold mode, and with Jake's paternity reveal plus Michael's shooting, there were some good long-term possibilities for Jason to actually change as a character.  Not that there appears to be any backstage support for such an idea.  I still hold out hope that one of these days Jason will get re-Quartermained.  Imagine the soapy possibilities -- ones that don't involve murder for hire.  Le gasp!

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Good lord, could Patrick and Robin be any more adorable?  I feel like Awesome Writer has been chained to a desk, ordered to write nothing but fabulous conversations between those two.  And of course based on recent history Awesome Writer assumed that said scenes would never see the light of day, but they ended up ON SCREEN.  Isn't it crazy?

But arguably more importantly, Jason Thompson was in a tux and the buff over the span of two episodes.  It was a good way to end the week.

Patrick did many things hotly last week, including but not limited to:

  • hotly referring to Robin's "bump" (ew, not in a dirty way, you perv -- it was cute!)
  • hotly told Robin repeatedly she was beautiful
  • hotly waited on Robin hand and foot at the Haunted Star party
  • hotly gambled
  • hotly carried Robin when her shoes were too tight
  • hotly told Robin how happy he was for her that her dream of having a baby was coming true
  • as mentioned, was hotly shirtless and hotly tuxedo'd

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I can't decide what excited me more last week:  Rick Hearst appearing to be on the cusp of getting both  new romantic and business-related storylines, or the fact that he finally cut his damned hair.  I guess the storylines would have to win out, because they're both testing him with Sarah Brown (I really think that pairing has fantastic potential), and it looks like Ric is finally going to have something to do besides fill in at his ex-wife's job or be Sonny's professional lackey.  Woo and hoo.

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I am back to loving Alexis and Diane's relationship.  "I will grab you by your hairpiece!" Hee.  I know that it's still pretty much a caricature of a friendship between two strong women, and there's far too much focus on shoes (I cannot believe I just typed that phrase), but I like the actresses so much that I have enthusiastically punched my ticket on the Alexis-Diane train.  You?

But their individual romances.  Ugh.

So, obviously

Alexishsparty

Nancy Lee Grahn sleeps in an oxygen chamber and bathes in the blood of virgins.  The real question at issue is why the hell can't Alexis get a non-sociopath love interest?  I don't care how suave Sebastian Roche is, Jerry Jacks is so far from being redeemed enough to be with Alexis, he's . . . well, I'd say he's in a different hemisphere, but with GH travel times that would mean he's like five minutes away from being an upstanding citizen.  But obviously just based on the chemistry of the actors, there's some support for this pairing.  Where do you come down on this critical issue of worldwide importance?

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Oh my god.  My Lulu hate is soon going to require professional intervention.  I still can't get over that there are writers bad enough to make me hate -- without layers, without reservation -- Luke and Laura's daughter.  Soul-sucking bastards.

Lulu's bickering with Maxie is I guess supposed to be funny, but I'm not laughing.  I'm sitting there wondering if Maxie is within reaching distance of her desk organizer so she can stab Lulu with scissors.  And Lulu's personal life is no better.  She was such an asshole to Logan, to whom she'd been sending mixed signals since, well, not that long because their entire relationship took place over eight days, but whatever, he wasn't a dumb meathead to think he should set up a date for the two of them.  But she treated him like he was.  Her brutal bitchiness stomped out his brutal hotness, sadly.  Then there's Lulu and Johnny.  Are they supposed to be some kind of rootable supercouple?  Could someone tell the writers that?  Or maybe tell the actors, too, since they don't appear to be terribly fond of each other?

I especially hate that my Lulu hate is spilling over onto Julie Marie Berman, who I thought was robbed for the younger actress Emmy last year.  But my god, Helen Mirren couldn't sell this shit.  Though I think she might more convincingly lust after Brandon Barash.  I say we let her try.

Comments

If I hear Spinelli call Jason "Stone Cold' one more time - I'll literally crawl out of my skin. It truly is THE most annoying thing in life. Not just this soap - life.

BTW Serial - thanks for torturing yourself for us bloggers. It means alot to me. I for one could NOT continously watch this show and recap it - I'd have to steal all the other recaps from all the other websites and plagarize. To have to sit and watch the WHOLE show, day in and day out? There isn't enough Adderall in this world for that.

And this interactive blog was awesome!!!!!

Actaully I wanted a third choice in the Greg Vaughan poll...who cares...just keep him shirtless. Damn I love him. and yes handsomer is TOTALLY a word.

I think I have a new supercouple to root for...Jason/Box of Pain! Obviously it has sustained him through many a rough patch....JaBoP is true love forever!!!!!!!!!!!But I am with you Becca...the entire show starts twaddling on about his "secret pain" which is only really secret to like four people at this point again...i'm going to that studio and taking everyone out...except Greg. And Jason T. I do have standards after all.

How cute was it when Robin referred to her boobs? And that Patrick said something like "bring those over here."

*swoon*

Oh god thank you, for discussing the horridness that is Lulu. What have they done to her character?? I actually have to change the channel during her scenes now, which sucks because I think Johnny is gorgeous and I love watching him. She's unbearable now.

Lulu is the reason I tape the episodes and hit that lovely Fast Forward button for all her scenes!

I see you mentioned nothing about Nadine, Nikolas, or Leyla. Just as well. Watching any of these 3 is about as interesting as watching a fly on the wall and is not worthy of any mention period. And I can't believe they are headed down the path of a Nik/Nadine pairing. That should be as interesting as Ric and Marianna. Needless to say I don't like any of the characters, including Nikolas who has not been interesting since Stephan Nichols was on the show as the fabulous Stefan

Why is it that when Ric seems about ready to hook up with a mobster that terrorizes people it's sexy but Alexis does it and it's horrible?

The double standard is silly

I'm with Beth R. JaBoP rules. Two inanimate objects wasting screen time as a supercouplke of duds is better GH than Sonny's stupidity and barware throwing or anything w/ Lulu!

I just read that Anthony Zacchara might not be Claudia's father, which means that SB and Brandon Barash can finally indulge their unholy brother/sister hotness/lust thing they have going on. Because he sure as heck has no chemistry with Lulu. Everytime I see them kiss, it's like they have to think of their paychecks in order to get through it.

I agree that Alexis/Diane were absolutely fabulous, i loved their friendship this week. and while i am usually not Sonny's biggest fan the blame game is too far. I agree that the writing for Lulu has been atrocious lately but Julie Berman still manages to save it for me, i am really loving the Johnny/Lulu relationship though, it works for me. but i am more than ready for the maxie/lulu fued to end, it does neither character any favors.

I agree with the person above me, the writing for Lulu has been horrible but I am actually loving the Johnny/Lulu. i am really liking them, that said, the writing for lulu has been horrible. i have no sympathy for logan, but i need them to make her less selfish and selfcentered. and i too am tired of the Sonny blame game.

Love the interactive blog. Thanks. Hate all things Lulu.

Perhaps I can help you cope with the torture of watching this show by giving you a little game to play while watching it. Whenever Carly and/or Lulu show up, count how times they say either "I", "me", "my" or "mine" per rant or scene or whatever. It's a psychological test to show off characteristics of selfishness-in other words, the more they say it, the more self-absorbed they are.

It should be too hard-especially with Lulu. And leave it to Carly to find some way to make what happened to her son all about her as well.

Give it a try...at least it should help you tune them out a little.

GV is hot! Diane Alexis were so funny especially with the hairpiece. Agree with almost everything, especially getting tired of the everything is Sonny's fault. I have to differ on Johnny/Lulu, its the first Lulu pairing i love! but, i agree that the writing has been horrible for her and the writers really need to add back her vulnerability, because even Julie's acting can't save some of it.

I think that if you need the perfect onscreen metaphor for the state of this show, consider that there are two Spencer siblings. One is hotness personified, an upstanding guy, and a cop to boot. The other is screeching banshee who can't see past gazing at her navel to tie her shoes. Which one gets the most screentime?

And there's GH in a nutshell.

How great is it to finally see some GOOD scrub scenes!!! we want more, more, more...I was ready to forget GH....but TPTB still insist on leyla...they promised us she would be gone more than 6 months ago...but one of the idiots (TPTB) MUST have the hots for her because, no matter what she stays....and Robin suffers..it was sooo good to see scrubs have more than 30 seconds of GOOD scenes (not arguing) on the screen in one day, this week...lets see more of them...and enough already about Carly and "it's all about me drama"

How great is it to finally see some GOOD scrub scenes!!! we want more, more, more...I was ready to forget GH....but TPTB still insist on leyla...they promised us she would be gone more than 6 months ago...but one of the idiots (TPTB) MUST have the hots for her because, no matter what she stays....and Robin suffers..it was sooo good to see scrubs have more than 30 seconds of GOOD scenes (not arguing) on the screen in one day, this week...lets see more of them...and enough already about Carly and "it's all about me drama"

It honestly pains me to dislike Luke and Laura's daughter, a child I practically watched grow up, but I do. Lulu is just insufferable and has been for months. I loved her when she was first sorased, and now I almost dread her scenes. What happened to her? She used to be so fun and easy to enjoy and connect to, and more importantly, she was rootable. That's all gone now. There isn't one rootworthy thing about Lulu Spencer and I blame the writing for that cause the only reason I still give a damn about Lulu is because she is L&L's kid and played by JMB. Why can't anyone over there see the mess they've made of Lulu and fix it? It can't be that hard to fix. And whose idea was it to make Lulu like Carly? Whoever that was should be fired!

the writing has been horrible for lulu, it sucks, but i give props to JMB for still making me stick by the character. i think the writers just need to go back and give her back some vulnerability and make her less selfish and they'd be fine. JMB is a terrific actress and i cant wait till they give her back some quality writing. side note, i think johnny/lulu could actually work. hes the first guy that actually goes toe to toe with her and doesn't treat her like shes on a pedastal. with some better writing, i can easily go back to loving lulu and i def see the potential in Johnny/Lulu

Lulu and Johnny. Meh. They are missing SO much potential in setting up Logan as a hero here I can't stand it. He's a blazing hot legacy kid that can actually act and has chemistry with Lulu... and he doesn't have those awful tattoos anymore! (I hope).

Scruffy Lucky made my week better. That's about all I really liked about last week. The rest was a snoozefest or annoyed me.

Kelly, you ask a good question regarding Ric/Alexis/mobsters. I wish I knew the answer. On second thought, maybe I don't.

As for a Jason storyline, the only one I want to see is Jason becoming dead.

And Lulu sucks. She's not even worth my time elaborating.

The difference to me between Rick and Alexis is that Rick has always had a dark side, so he's not yet another "good" character getting dragged into the mob. Plus I'm not saying I think Claudia and Rick should get together now, just that there's potential. If they could even remotely redeem Jerry/James/whoeverthefuck, particularly with some kind of "he has a brain tumor that made him do all that criminal stuff" story, I could get behind him and Alexis. Nancy Lee Grahn and Sebastian Roche are fab together; I wouldn't attempt to argue otherwise.

Marybeth you ask what happened to Lulu? The writers stopped writing her as a Spencer and started writing her as Carly. Plain and simple. You want to tell me the Lulu we met at Lucky/Liz's first wedding would have stood by and backed Jason over her brother? I don't think so...she'd run and tell Lucky everything. The overnight bond with Carly (which I didn't strictly object to until I realized too late what was happening) and the siding with Jason was the beginning of the end of the real daughter of Luke/Laura.

I still think that the rumor of Alexis and Diane paired together would be way awesomer than any (misogynistic) man they'd hook these ladies up with on the show.

Unfortunately, Guza is still HW, so any potential awesomeness is overwhelmed by his assyness.

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