The Yawn and the Restless
Last night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I was going over my to-do list in my head ("What did I wear the past couple of Wednesdays? I don't want to repeat a Wednesday outfit tomorrow" "I need to immediately download Monday's How I Met Your Mother and watch it as many times as possible and maybe even write James Van der Beek a fan letter because WHO KNEW he had it in him?" "What kind of coffee should I get in the morning? Vanilla? Caramel? Mocha?") and I reminded myself that I have to write a Y&R post because I haven't done one in...forever. I've just had such a difficult time writing about it lately. I have been attempting to, but all of my posts boil down to "Why would Cane like Lily? Gloria is uber effing annoying. Peter Bergman is dreamy ex oh ex oh" and those things, while true, aren't exactly groundbreaking pieces of news and if I am going to rail against soap writers for ripping themselves off, I should probably be original myself.
Perhaps it was because Y&R was the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep, but...I totally had a dream about Don Diamont. It was weird. We were seated next to each other at some sort of luncheon and he totally knew how much I talk badly about him and I knew he knew I talk badly about him and I completely felt bad about it and we both thought it was awkward. And then when I woke up, I still felt a little bit bad, because I did focus a lot of my LML era ire on him and also, he has to live with the fact that he sported a mullet for so long. I hope that we can move past that and have a nice working relationship.
So that happened. Which is more than has happened on this show in ages...
It's kind of fitting that Victoria can easily be nicknamed "Vic-bore-ia" or "Vic-snore-ia", isn't it?* Because if there was ever an opportunity for her to get her bitch on, it would be the time where her alleged best friend confesses to having an affair with her father. And yet...she was just kind of...there. A bit shrieky, but mostly just...there. Not to mention hypocritical, since she, you know, married her mother's ex-fiance, but whatever. I was underwhelmed.
I mean, granted, if I found out that my father was romancing one of my friends, I'd be too busy projectile vomiting to lay any sort of smackdown, let alone focus on making it powerful, but I expect more from the Victoria Newmans of the world, especially when one considers how absolutely repulsive the pairing of Sabrina and Victor is. I'm not against the older man/younger woman thing (see above re: Peter Bergman), but this is wrong on almost every level.
Sabrina is a poorly written, poorly acted random character who seems kind of like a drag queen in most of her scenes and way too young for Victor. Like...way. I think Eileen Davidson's Ashley is too young for Victor. Eric Braeden is not an unattractive man, but it just seem ridiculous after a while that he's the lust object of Genoa City. The conspiracy theorist in me likes to think that Eric Braeden pitched a bitch and requested a hot young girlfriend (I meant to comment ages ago on the interview he did where he complained about being sidelined. Double you tee eff? When has Victor EVER been sidelined? He's been the focal point of the show for decades and he always comes out on top). Maybe he's not a diva, but I can't help but think that he is at least a little bit of a jerk. Although he was funny the time he guest starred on The Nanny, not that I watched The Nanny, and he was also in Titanic, so maybe he's not all bad. Where was I?
*I am reasonably sure that I'd have never realized that if Heather Tom were still playing Victoria, and I have to say, I try really hard not to be one of those bitter, people who can't accept recasts after years and years, but...seriously, Amelia Heinle is beyond bland and has completely defanged the formerly formidable Victoria and it makes me sad
You know what I'd sooner watch than the continuing shenanigans of Gloria & Company? Cats, by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Cats, running around a yard. The Andy Griffith Show. That show with Patricia Heaton and Kelsey Grammer. Local access television. Paint drying.
I am just spent. I am so sick of Gloria. I want, like, two weeks where she's not onscreen or being talked about. Or even five days without her wacky shenanigans and horrible wardrobe. I am really feeling like I'm overdosing on her, and it's not even the good kind of overdose where you at least get a good high first. I hate her so much that if she came onscreen espousing the awesomeness of Diet Coke, I'd stop drinking Diet Coke out of protest. Yeah, I mean business.
Felicia: This one right here is my favorite. It's bold, beautiful, edgy. It makes you wanna look like her.
Lesli Kay is a much better actress than I've ever given her credit for, because she was able to say that line without visibly grimacing. I could tell she was grimacing on the inside, though.
I don't really get Felicia joining Adam in a scheme to break up Nick and Phyllis. Mostly because I don't get the appeal of Nick and Phyllis. I mean, Phyllis was awesome back in the day and she's beautiful, but what about her is so amazing that Adam is infatuated with her? And Nick just seems painfully dim sometimes (most of the time?). Felicia should go after someone with functioning brain cells, is all I'm saying.
I didn't think it could ever happen, but the Cane/Lily story has showed that it is possible to make something involving a hot Australian guy bore the audience to tears. Who knew that could even happen?
I just find the entire story to be completely dumb and not even a little bit engaging, which is sad, considering that we are talking about Dru and Neil's daughter getting pregnant by Jill and Philip's son. !!! How do you ass that up? It's been so poorly written and ill-conceived. I don't get why someone like Cane would be attracted to Lily; I find her gorgeous, but she's young and she seems to be even younger than she is. Abby was more polished than Lily can be, you know? And Neil being gung-ho about Lily having the baby and him being a grandfather is a little strange.
Why is David Chow still on this show? He's beyond boring and Vincent Irrizarry doesn't even seem to be TRYING anymore. I feel bad for Melody Thomas Scott that Victor's paired with a (-n allegedly) hot young girl and she has this boring waste of space.
Blerg. Is there anything interesting at all going on lately? Anything?