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« Forgetting Amber Moore | Main | And Emmy Season Officially Begins! »

April 30, 2008

The Week's Most "Ooooh, I Get It Now" Dialogue

So, most of you know that I have a healthy affection for Jason Thompson.  Let's pretend it's healthy, okay?  He's gorgeous and seems down-to-earth, and has fantastically natural and engaging chemistry with Kimberly McCullough, and Rick Springfield, and Finola Hughes, and Becky Herbst, and . . . well, with pretty much everyone but Nazanin Boniadi.  (Seriously, Patrick with Leyla was like when Pacey got together with that waitress on Dawson's Creek and suddenly the chemistry cloak was lifted.  I questioned the meaning of life, and even -- gasp! -- the hotness of Josh Jackson for a while after that.) 

Anyway, because of Jason Thompson, I find Patrick to be a great character; a nice departure from the typical daytime hero but just unrealistically adorable enough to fit in on a soap canvas.  Or should I say, as of this week I know that's all because of Jason Thompson.  I don't know why I would have even considered giving any credit to the writers, but apparently at least subconsciously I was, but FauxPatrick has shown me the error of my ways.

I'm not even sure why there is a temporary recast.  There were seemingly weeks on end last year that went by without Patrick onscreen, but now Patrick can't head off to a medical conference for a couple of days so Jason Thompson can take a vacation (if you can even call it that, since he's undoubtedly helping orphans in third-world countries obtain safe drinking water or learn sustainable farming methods)?  I don't get it.  But this Ethan Whoeverperson is good looking, so I can deal.  However.  Ethan Whoeverperson is no Jason Thompson.  And this fact has revealed that Patrick . . . well, Patrick is kind of a dick.

I know there are people all over the country -- or at least, all over the internet -- who claim that Patrick is an ass and he doesn't deserve Robin and blahdittyblahdittyblah.  But my reaction to those misguided souls has always been something along the lines of:  "Um, yes, he can be a little ass-y, but, hello?  HOT.  Charming.  Yum."  I sort of got it during that horrible episode of Night Shift -- hang on, I know I need to be more specific -- when Patrick implied Robin should get a boob job and felt up a patient.  But I didn't really get it.  I've been able to pretend that Night Shift Patrick didn't happen, and justify some of his frat boy moments on the OG GH as being due to his fear of commitment.  But hearing Ethan Whoeverperson spout Patrick's lines, without that patented Thompson charm?  Oh sisterfriends, I GET IT. 

The dealbreaker for me:

FauxPatrick to Coleman:  Don't be messin' with my babymama!

Please don't read any humor or irony into that line, because there wasn't any.  "Don't be messin' with my babymama!"?!  I feel like that line is only appropriate if you're guest-starring on a very special teen-pregnancy-slash-domestic-violence episode of Saved by the Bell, and of course even then I would mock it mercilessly.   Nobody talks like this.  Certainly not a hot doctor.  And that charming line capped off Patrick's lamentably long tribute to his girlfriend's mother's hotness, which I'm convinced Jason Thompson would have somehow made charming but as it was it seemed really creepy and a little gross.

Jason Thompson made me overlook a lot.  A LOT.  It took me months of him being a total tool to revoke the hotly modifier that Mallory had so brilliantly coined.  But I'm not sure I'll ever forgive him for going on vacation and making me see what countless blog comments and forum posts had allowed me to turn a blind eye to:  Patrick's doucheitude.  For shame, Jason Thompson.  I hope helping those orphans, reversing global warming, saving seals, curing cancer, or whatever it was you were doing was worth it.

Oh, while I have you all here, faithful readers?  You should know that this show is killing me softly.  I couldn't come up with anything to include in a Week in Review last week.  The "good" news is, it's sweeps, so Guza and his band of terrormakers will undoubtedly kill off a legacy kid or blow up the Quartermaine mansion, so I should find some motivation again soon.

Comments

Watch the dreadful Frick dialogue of Monday, then watch the scenes on Youtube of the scene that Frick was describing, pay attention to RealPatrick's WTF look, combined with absolute fucking annoyance at Anna's parachuting into their lives and slightly pissy attitude at her lameass "couldn't be there for my bleeding daughter" excuses and his mutual disgust with Robin at her teenage antics and EWWWW reaction at the idea of his father and her mother sleeping together. And then repeat to yourself "Coast of Bolivia. Coast of Bolivia." The most offensive part of that ridiculously hideous dialogue, it directly contradicted what played on my screen, even during the summer in which Patrick's doucheitude was beginning to be readily on display. Monkeys with typewriters could do better. This show makes OTH seem like high art.

Isn't it funny...no not really...it's sad, maddening... that the TPTB refuse to admit, acknowledge... that Patrick and Robin (JT and KMc) are the drawing card...without them GH stinks and they have the chemistry that NO ONE else can match...and these past few days have proven that...in my opinion..for what it's worth GH is nothing without Kimberly and Jason...and without them scrubs is nothing...Kimberly and Jason just have the Chemistry that makes them so good and also makes GH look good....too bad Guza is too dumb, stubborn, I'm not sure what words it takes to describe him...but without them he's got nothing worth watcing....

Hey Everyone - try fitting this in your head - GH was nominated for best show/writing on the daytime Emmy's. Please pass the aspirin.

Whoever is writing that crap should be taken out and soundly smacked around - who?1?! do they think talks like that?
Although I always appreciate a bit of Coleman sprinkled in - he's far too under-utilized in my opinion.
In fact that one thing GH has tried to always do well - sprinkle in strong, funny, well acted supporting actors who round out life in Port Charles, make it seem like a real place.
So I appreciated a little Coleman in my day and loved him flirting up gorgeous Robin...especially in light of FauxPatrick and then shamefully Real Patrick implying that a pregnant Robin is any less hot. Hello..this is Kim. McC. - a gorgeous woman by any standards and it's well known that men seem to get a bit randy for pregnant women, especially early on. Come on she's not sporting a rotund belly and waddling - they are barely showing a bump and intentionally showing some blossoming cleavage on her thankfully natural breasts. Haven't they heard of the pregnancy "glow?"
What a ridiculous story point to create and totally out of line and insulting to the MAIN DEMOGRAPHIC!!! Come on people - women, mostly young, many who have been or will be pregnant. It's not rocket science.

The acknowledgement of Robin feeling boring and settled compared to her globetrotting, man attractiing mom could have been played out in a cute, funny totally Scrubs way. But no, the writing team f-ed it up again.

Just watching the emily farwell from those days brought me to tears. The history, the chemistry, the story potential, the days of so much better hair. I was even able to overlook the whole pirate / costume thing. Great choice for the song - I downloaded Broken by Lifehouse in record time. What an assinine idea to viciously murder emily for a story that didn't ultimate drive any plot change or character development. And for what? to leave Tyler Christopher free to chat up bumpkin Nadine and ride his horses? huh? How that man was not nominated for an emmy i don't know. Nicholas could be as ass. Aside from the whole debacle of she whose name shall not be spoken he could on his own be quite a dick. By TC has made him complex, sweet, romantic, sexy, and has acted the hell out of his "brain tumor" and emily's death. And the metro court days and the angry outburst phase, etc etc. Shameful. I have always said the emmys exist to prop up the boring as hell CBS lineup. Vapid pretty models sitting around talking about inane things like senate races, business maneuvers, and the like. Boring. Even a story about porn addiction was made boring.
*Peter B. from Y&R you know this doesn't mean you. Why aren't you running for president?

Can I just ask why in the heck Marianne still calls herself a Scrubs fan?? I belong to the Scrubs board and AL SHE DOES, ALL DAY LONG is bash Patrick. I agree this week has been pretty freaking lame and with the things Patrick has said. Heck this whole year has been lame and Patrick has been a lame ass but give me a break. If you (yes Marianne I am calling out you)hate Patrick so much quit posting on the Scrubs board. It's tiresome and it is old and SCRUBS FANS are tired of reading it. You can hate Patrick all you want but still posting on a board that is dedicated to the couple when you OBVIOUSLY hate one half of it, is ridiculous.

Anna Devane, the selfish, aging, neurotic soon to be grandmother? Oh, I don't think so! Maybe hot, maybe in good shape, but not the kind of woman who would need to find herself in a casino playing strip roulette with Luke Spencer. Yuck.

And the whole "Baby Mama" thing must have been some whimsical idea taken from an episode of Maury Povich.

The writers are simply hell bent on destroying literally every veteran's character. Why even bother bringing them back if they are going to make them all look like they've gone off the rails?
What's next? Bobbie Spencer suddenly becomes a serial killer? Or BJ somehow comes back to haunt Maxie?

Anita, you can absolutely not bring any kind of personal dispute to this site. Take it to email, or the forum that you two know each other from, or whatever. In the future, I'll delete any other comments like your last one. I don't agree with all the comments made here, but I don't let it get personal, and neither should any of our readers. Seriously, it's a freaking soap opera. There's more than enough drama on screen. Well, I guess on GH there's not really, since it's so damn boring lately, but you see what I mean in general.

Also, I'll put in another request that folks take the long comments, which are really less about commenting on the post and more about in-depth discussion of the character(s) to our forums. I take no position on the substance; my only quibble is with the geography. Thanks!

Tabby is right. Going to the Maury Povich show for storyline and dialogue is hitting the bottom of the barrel GH. Sad, very very sad. I bet his show gets better ratings than GH too. What a world. And Bobbie becoming a serial killer, don't give TIIC any more ideas. ;-)

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