General Hospital Week in Review
BREAKING AND TOTALLY ORIGINAL NEWS: Last week Jason Morgan killed someone, allegedly heroically! Specifically, to protect a poor defenseless woman who was totally dependent upon his ability to blow someone's brains out!
It was groundbreaking television.
I was going to start with a list of the things I liked on GH last week,
under the theory that it wouldn't take much space. But written out the
list is kind of lengthy. What does this mean? Surely not that the
show is improving. Anyway, stuff I liked:
- Drunk Luke and Anna. Yes, Anna is being kind of insane about becoming a grandmother, and her constant references to super-spy-dom are a bit tiring, but she is better than 90% of the rest of this show right now. And Tony Geary and Finola Hughes being goofy together is a little slice of soap heaven.
- Laura Wright's performance as a grieving mother. I hate Carly, and I swore I wouldn't give the writers any credit for a story kicked off by having a 12-year-old get shot in the head, but Wright is kicking ass in these scenes.
- Steve Burton's portrayal of a regretful Jason. Of course, the fact that the writers will not alter Jason's behavior at all as a result of his "revelations" about the violence he brought to Michael's life of course is not part of the "like" column. If I had a "makes me want to become a hitman so I can kill people for sport" column, it would top that.
- Luke and Nikolas discussing lost love and how to move on, after Nikolas' surgery. There are not nearly enough quiet scenes like that on this show.
- Morgan trying to get Michael to play video games (you know, in that "I 'like' having my heart ripped out" kind of way).
- Emily finally getting Really Dead. I even found her final scene in the park, and the engagement ring touch, charming. I don't know what's wrong with me; maybe a brain tumor.
- Maxie. Even sharing almost all her scenes with Spinelli and a gun-toting Jason doesn't ruin her charm.
- The fact that Lulu wasn't on as much. Poor Julie Marie Berman, saddled with such an odious character and wardrobe all at once. How does she go on?
Now for the suckage:
- Poor Kimberly McCullough, trapped in that hideous blue dress for a week. The girl cannot catch a break. Her bangs and color have finally grown out into a most adorable style, so of course now they have to dress her in upholstery remnants. Thank god she gets to be in the vicinity of Jason Thompson's hotness. I hope that consoles her.
- Where the hell was Nikolas' family while he was having brain surgery? I swear, the writers cannot remember week to week who is related to whom. And couldn't Monica at least have popped in while on her rounds? Or is there a weekly Quartermaine quota [of...one] that can't be exceeded?
- Contrary to popular belief, I am not a total hater of all things mob-related on GH. I just hate that they've eaten the show, and that the mobsters became the good guys. Anyway, I thought Maurice Benard used to bring a lot of interesting layers to Sonny, and I really enjoyed some of his relationships (Brenda!). However, times have changed. I don't think I've seen anything as unconvincing as Sonny "crying" at Michael's bedside since Tiffani on the first season of Top Chef kept telling the camera she was really a nice person. (Related note: Bless you, Bravo marathons.)
- Robin: Let me describe to you the first time that I met Patrick. He was having sex with a nurse on top of an operating table in this hospital in Atlanta where he did his residency. That happened in Atlanta? I hadn't remembered that. Regardless, I'm getting a little tired of the writers using Robin's dialogue to remind us all of what a player Patrick is, and how he's supposedly terrible husband material. Dudes, you decided to make him the father of the child of an HIV-positive character that we all watched grow up. Dial back the vilification a notch, 'kay?
- You guys, Anthony is forcing Lulu to date Johnny. This could be a totally interesting and engrossing storyline for you to watch, if you weren't watching last year when Scott forced Lulu to date Logan. No, wait, it couldn't. Because if you've only been watching for less than a year, you fucking hate Lulu, and I don't blame you. 2006 Lulu, come back. All is forgiven, even the Dillon stuff.
- Jerry: Oh come on Alexis, can I have a little redemption here?
Can't a man, you know, change for the better? Come on. It's such a
shame to let all this potential go to waste, don't you think? Agreed on that last sentence, but dear writers, are you aware you haven't actually written a redemption arc for Jerry yet? I don't mean to be critical -- it's just a reminder! Like, maybe you forgot to do it but think that you did. Similar to how you think you've shown Carly to be a wonderful mother with great instincts, Sonny to be a devoted father and upstanding mobster, and Lulu to be worthy of every guy in town's adoration?
- How many Herve Leger dresses does Claudia own? And if she can afford those (to wear to meetings on the docks, as you do), why were her shoes only Nina and Nine West?
- This is May sweeps, seriously? Much as I didn't want yet another copycat "crazy criminal wreaks major havoc" story, is this really all we get this time around? Not even a single makeshift surgery performed with fishing line? Unacceptable.