Countdown to the Emmys: Day 7
The Daytime Emmys are tomorrow! Like Jessie Spano and The Pointer Sisters before us, we're so excited and we just can't hide it! Woohoo! And one of the the things we're most excited about is which allegedly deserving show receives the purportedly honorable title of Outstanding Drama Series. Will it be GH, for arguably its worst year ever? Or Guiding Light, in what could be its last year in existence, a possibly imaginary soap that if real lately includes more gimmicks than a used car lot? Will it be Y&R, and if so, will the many viewers it has bored into a coma ever be made aware of the victory? Or will it be One Life to Live, the show that there appears to be consensus among viewers and critics is actually the best? We managed to type that last sentence without dissolving into fits of laughter somehow, but seriously, y'all aren't actually expecting the best show to win the best show award, are you? You are too cute.
You know the drill: After the jump, watch, read, vote, comment. Woohoo!
That General Hospital is deemed one of the four best soaps on the air -- unless the competition is based on the talent of the cast, the number of hot men, or the percentage of the audience it sends into rage blackouts on an at least monthly basis -- is a sad statement about daytime television. But those sneaky bastards submitted clips from the Metro Court storyline which, while a rip-off of prior sweeps stories (and primetime dramas, and...everything) and not especially impressive regardless, was indeed the best thing GH put on our screens last year. It includes some elements that are relatively unique in daytime, and the actors truly did turn in some great performances, so we will not be surprised if GH wins this award. We will be filled with Soap Opera Rage, and we may design and mass-market t-shirts broadcasting our objection, but we will not be surprised.
This effing show.
This episode has us puzzled. No external shots in small-town New Jersey? No awkward scenes in a kitchen with formica cabinets? No shaky camerawork? Enough cast members present to actually fill out scenes? It's like everything we've heard about Guiding Light is a lie. This is what happens when you actually believe people when they say they watch this show.
One Life to Live
You know, we never hear anything from our readers about One Life to Live, and whether it's good. Radio silence. Nobody ever tells us to quit watching GH and watch OLTL instead, or suggests that all our problems would fade away if only we'd give Ron WhatsHisFace's masterpiece a try. Nobody has ever pointedly disagreed with our "ABC DAYTIME SUCKS" rants by holding up OLTL as a shining beacon of soapy hope. We haven't heard whether the powers-that-be there put their veterans to good use, respect the show's history, or if there are any standout divas in the cast. Not a peep!
Okay, fine, if we're being serious, apparently if the Emmys are based on actual merit, OLTL should run away with this statue. But the Emmys being based on actual merit would be like calorie-free real chocolate. Never going to happen, people.
The Young and the Restless
The powers-that-be at Y&R made a good choice in submitting an episode from the genuinely engrossing Newman jet crash. If someone was unfamiliar with the endless months of boring that followed this arc, or if they had no idea that stories about Nick's crash-related amnesia and the possibility of sabotage were dropped in an instant, they might think of this as the start of a great umbrella story. After all, this episode features the show's heavy hitters all doing good work: the reliably great were great, but Eric Braeden actually emoted, Don Diamont gave the whole "effort" thing a shot and Jeanne Cooper gave us her famous "Dear God in heaven" catchphrase. On the surface, it's good soap and a wise submission. Pretty sneaky, sis.
Hopefully, their other submission, which centered around that week of cheese known as Out of the Ashes, knocked some sense into Emmy voters and told them that the relative greatness of the other episode was an anomaly.