General Hospital Week in Review
Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I had predicted that General Hospital would win the best drama series Emmy, pretty much since the nominations came out. (You can never go wrong underestimating the taste and intellect of award show voters!) That may be why I haven't gone completely postal about it. I'm having a reasonable person's reaction, by pretending it didn't happen. Wait, that's not true, the reasonable person doesn't even watch the Daytime Emmys. So, I guess I'm having as reasonable a reaction as I can to something as inexplicable as this terrible show being named the best in daytime. That being said, this Week in Review is going to focus (mostly) on the things that didn't suck last week. (I know what you're thinking -- cool, quick read!) There were no serious felonies or misogynistic moments, so it was better than many weeks. And sure, there was at least one partial character assassination (Alexis -- she and Jerry are getting a separate post, y'all), but nothing that made me get super ragey or yelly. There will be lots of that coming up, though, so I need to rest up.
Lest you think I've gone soft, or started smoking the truly good stuff that Emmy voters obviously do, I have not forgotten that this show often seems like the only thing it is excellent at is being terrible. I cannot improve on Mallory's summary of the last year's GH abominations when the nominations were first announced, so I'm going to be lazy and just quote her:
But that show seems downright brilliant compared to General Hospital, which I have come to conclude is not meant to be entertainment but, rather, serves merely as a vehicle for the powers-that-be to give the finger to their actors, their audience, people who have heard of General Hospital, people who work at hospitals and the person who invented the television. Because the fact that this EFFING SHOW was rewarded with a chance to be called Outstanding Daytime Drama in a year that brought us the firing of Stuart Damon and his subsequent humiliation via tracksuits, the intelligence insulting reveal that James Craig is Jerry Jacks, two ridiculous trials that showed us exactly how little the writers care about logic or the real world, ongoing blatant disrespect of Genie Francis, the rape of a character being played as him breaking his marriage vows in a hilarious way, the out of nowhere obsession Robin had with having a child, the violent murder of Emily Quartermaine, Emily's happy ghost, obvious rewrites of stories that weren't good to start with, the violent murder of Georgie Jones, a shitty spinoff and Steve Burton's hair, amongst other atrocities, is so unspeakably wrong that I don't even know how to process it.
Denial is how I'm processing the win, clearly. Denial.
Lucky and Sam are adorable together. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be typing that, I would have looked at you like you thought General Hospital was the best soap on the air. But it's true, and their Mexican adventure was easily the highlight of the week.
"Lucky, it's called cleavage, and it's the best weapon we've got." Words to live by, girlfriend. (Aw, and that reminds me, Sam's delight at Lucky calling her his girlfriend was cute.)
They're even cute camping. Camping! I don't think I've found camping adorable since The Parent Trap, and I'm pretty sure that was only because it was mixed with gaslighting the bitchy potential stepmom.
Plus, Sam was in full makeup and wore gigantic 4" wood-heeled sandals throughout the camping scenes! So soapy.
Now that they're back in Port Charles, I just hope Sam and Lucky remain entertaining. Almost nobody else does, but you know, hope springs eternal.
There was one off moment:
Sam: ...I think it must be the jet lag.
Lucky: No no no -- we didn't change time zones.
Really? Between Mexico and New York? Yes, you did.
This is the kind of thing I don't get. It's summer. Does GH not have at least one intern? Who can operate that really tricky technology known as Google? College students will do literally anything for money, and they'll even do most of it for free! I don't understand. Is there no quality control at all on the writing of this show? Can Awesome Writer not be assigned to proofreading? S/he gets little else to do.
Oh, right, positive. I'm supposed to be positive. Um...Maxie wore a cute outfit!
It helps that Kirsten Storms really is looking healthier lately. She's still very thin, but she no longer appears to be on the verge of collapse. And she and Jason Cook were crazily good-looking together at the Emmys, so I find myself actually optimistic about his character's addition to the canvas (this coming week, I think?), particularly when he's a doctor and therefore hopefully totally removed from the black hole of suck that is the mob universe. I know I just said I was optimistic about GH. Don't worry, it's not the beginning of a trend, or anything.
While we're on the subject of Maxie, she and Johnny were totally charming in their conversation on the bridge this week. (Because I'm taking this positivity out for a spin, I will not bitch about the fact that Maxie revealed that Georgie got a scholarship for a foreign exchange program in Florence, and how it's too bad Bob Guza killed her off instead of just writing her off the canvas to Italy.) Anyway: Kirsten Storms and Brandon Barash have good chemistry, and if only the writers hadn't decided to make Maxie an actual hooker in this scenario, I might be looking forward to them having more scenes together.
On the topic of Brandon Barash and chemistry, I know I said a few weeks ago that he and Julie Marie Berman appeared to be physically repulsed by each other, but they've gotten much better.
Maybe I was just put off by them repeatedly hooking up in a gardening shed. Or by how horribly awful the character of Lulu has become (I dream of new methods of shin-kicking to use on her). Whatever, they're improving, which is not something that typically happens on this show, so I salute them. The actors. Not the characters. Because truly, Lulu is evil.
I know Max's accidental proposal to Diane with the ring Sonny bought for Kate (which, BTW: vomit) is a ripoff of Friends, and not even from one of the really good years, but I like this storyline.
Hear me out! I really like that they aren't making this two all schmoopy, true love forever and so forth. They're just a couple of adults who enjoy each other's company...and stuff. Which is a fine thing, and something often absent in soapland.
Okay, let me be honest: Mostly I liked the accidental proposal because it really annoyed Sonny, and Sonny being annoyed and/or upstaged are among the only things I enjoy watching happen to that character.
If you ignore the fact that this effing show is hardly addressing HIV at all during the first HIV+ pregnancy storyline in daytime history, and if you set aside the fact that the mother- and father-to-be have not had a new conversation since at least the last time Sonny and Carly were married, Robin and Patrick's scenes last week were super adorable. (And I am totally willing to ignore and set aside that stuff, in case you were wondering. For now.)
Dr. Lee ordered Robin to bed rest, and despite the fact that Dr. Lee is an ob-gyn who can't even diagnose pregnancy, Robin listened to her. And so did brain surgeon Patrick. Patrick, in fact, was hotly attentive.
But Mac -- whom I love otherwise, don't get me wrong -- got all up in their business and decided that Patrick is an oversexed adolescent who can't take care of Robin
so he hired Epiphany to "help."
To which Patrick hotly responded with hot indignation.
Robin's reaction to Epiphany barreling through the door at full volume was 1) awesome
and 2) almost exactly the one Mallory has every time her nemesis Epiphany appears on screen. (Side note: Sonja Eddy seems so cool, as confirmed by her interview on the Emmy red carpet, so why must they write Epiphany so irritatingly?)
Patrick and Robin eventually got some time to themselves, and Patrick hotly proposed cohabitation.
To which Robin reacted thusly:
It may be that I've just finally lost track of all their angsty moments (perhaps because they've been replayed in different outfits approximately 9000 times), but they already lived together once, right? And they've talked about being together after the baby is born? So why is this funny/shocking? I don't understand.
Let me just fast-forward to the point where Patrick was hotly handcuffed.
Mac arrested Patrick. For...something/nothing. And Robin reacted by getting out of bed with Maxie's help, appearing at the police station in a wheelchair to try to talk some sense into her uncle. These effing writers. Why must they make Mac an idiot?
Oh, right, he's a cop. I forgot the rules for a second!
Something very strange has happened recently: I did a 180 on the returns of both the former Carlys. Ava on Days and Claudia on GH have really grown on me. With Ava, it's been happening for a while. But with Claudia, it's very recent. I think she became tolerable when she kissed Nikolas. That had some magical effect. I started liking Emily again when she got back together with Nikolas after that horrendous Sonny romance, too. Why did I always hate Courtney so much, then?
Anyway, I have not enjoyed Sarah Brown more this go-around than I did in her scenes with Spinelli last week. Yes, Spinelli. I know, I'm confused too.
She even smiled! And laughed! I didn't know Claudia Zacchara could do those things, with anyone other than her "brother."
And then you add Jason into the mix, and it was even better. (I KNOW; I don't know what's happened to me.)
Sarah Brown and Steve Burton have always had great chemistry, and even with her in a new role there's still a spark. Since this is an allegedly positive post, I won't mention how totally stupid the whole quarantine story is, how the writers still seem to have no idea who Claudia is or what they're going to do with her, or how awful the little "joke" about that snake oil juice that Burton sells was.
I guess I'm just happy to see Jason potentially paired with someone who's already in the mob. One less Port Charles woman to get ruined by a mafia coupling.
I am going to consider this closing on a positive note: I love this screencap.
I can't decide if it's better to think of it like a poster for one of those 50s schlock-horror movies (Biker Chicks and Alien Body Snatchers!), or if it's the moment at which Sarah Brown realized just what the hell she'd gotten herself into with signing back onto this show.
Screencaps courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason.