It's really weird that when the soon to be departed Leven Rambin started to play a dual role, it was all over the soap mags, but when Thorsten Kaye took on the role of Zach's nefarious twin, there was nary a press release about it.
...what? Oh, this isn't an evil double? That was supposed to be Zach acting like a total dickwad yesterday? Really? Oh.
I know that this may sound crazy, but you know how sometimes you'll be watching a show, and a character will say or do something and you'll remark to yourself (or the room at large, depending on how vociferously you disagree with what they have just said or done), "[Insert name here] would NEVER do that" with a great amount of conviction, as if they are not only not fictional, but like you also know them well enough to determine how they would or would not act? Am I the only person who does that? I swear I'm not crazy...
The thing is: I have watched Zach Slater do his thing for four years and have realized that there are certain things Zach Slater would never say or do, no matter what (or who!) Kendall does, or who he spends time trapped in an underground bomb shelter with and this is one of them:
Zach: But you like to test me, don't you? Like to push me away to make sure that I come back. Why do you do that? You know what scares me, Kendall Hart Slater? One day, you're going to push me too far. And I'm not coming back.
Granted, this is slightly better than the time another of Kendall's lovers told her she'd push someone too far one day, because this threat didn't end with imagery of her being choked to death, but still: hell fucking no.
I just...I can't believe that Zach Slater would say something like that to Kendall, who he loves wholeheartedly and unreservedly, even taking into account the fact that paralyzing insecurity is her dominant character trait. Not to mention, Kendall has already lived through a time where she didn't feel comfortable with Greenlee's relationship with her significant other and hello, that time ended when Greenlee relentlessly pursued and then married Ryan. He saw how fucked up the entire Ryan/Greenlee/Kendall triangle was! He repeatedly called Greenlee out on being a complete toxic lunatic! But because they spent some time underground in a hole, it invalidates every instance of bad behavior Greenlee has ever exhibited and he like "How dare you voice any sort of complaint against Greenlee, The Fairest Maiden to Ever...Be Fair"? If I'm stuck in an underground bunker with Spencer Pratt, am I going to come out saying "Lauren sucks! Buy Heidi's CD! Speidi's love is for real!!!" As if.
I refuse to acknowledge that this man is Zach Slater. Until he starts acting remotely Zachish, he will be known as...AC Morris.